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Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

General Warnings: Angst, smut, asshole parents, trauma response, Jake is a jerk at first.

I will update the warnings as I write. These are just I thought of now.

Sneak Peek

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Text Messages:

Stay away from me

He's not sorry

Taglist: @wkndwlff @cherrycola27 @daisydaisygoose @rosiahills22 @deanoheartspie @cornishkat @high-speed-r @fogle97 @mygyn @ohgodnotagainn @emma8895eb @senjoritanana @genius2050 @sandaltoesocks @mayhemmanaged @dempy

I've never posted to tumblr or anything like this but i have been thinking of getting diagnosed with adhd for a while and recently made a list of things I do that seem neurodivergent. its longer than i thought it would be and i wanted to share it somewhere to get opinions or general thoughts because why not lol. anyway heres my random brain dump:

So much going on in my brain. all the time. thinking is literally my life. there are like 5 trains of thoughts going on at a time all the time. i have to retrace my steps a lot because i always forget them.

Having to be reminded to do things

I LOVE planners and to do lists (even in they don’t work a lot of the time

I like to really think about stuff like a plan. i like to list out how long it will take me to do each task and how much time i have to do another task and then how much time i have in between that, while instead i could’ve just DONE the tasks without needing the plan.

always moving. literally something in my body is always moving. if it’s my foot, my leg, my fingers, my tongue, something is always fidgeting and moving. and if there isn’t anything, i’m probably deep in thought.

i’m so awkward. i don’t know if this is connected but i am so awkward. i don’t know how others see me. i can’t tell what face i made or if my expression was obvious. i am so bad at social interactions. i mess up on my words. i take too long to think about if i want to add something to the conversation but by then its too late. i usually go for the easy option. like it’s easier just not to say anything than start a conversation. i also struggle a lot with talking clearly. i mess up my words a lotttt. it’s annoying.

it’s hard to control my emotions. especially in situations with other people and i could easily hide my emotions and act normal but i just don’t.

i forget everything. like everything. i forget things about myself. i have notes about my favorite foods, my favorite colors, my favorite anything because if someone were to ask me, i wouldn’t be able to remember.

i eat the same foods all the time. this could be completely normal but i’ve heard that neurodivergent people tend to stick to comfort foods. mine are pizza. and ravioli. and quesadillas. but mostly pizza. 24/7. and i’m satisfied with that. i never have urges to eat anything different. could be completely irrelevant though.

i’ve heard this somewhere so i thought i would include this. i can’t deal with conversations with two people. like if im talking to someone and another person joins our conversation. i go quiet becuase its feels off. idk how to describe it. like i just go silent and listen.

this could also just be a me thing but i enjoy basic friend things. like the most basic things. my friend draws a smiley face on my paper? euphoria. my friend puts her feet on my chair or rests on me? oh my god. just being around me in general gives me such excitement. its like ive never had friends before.

i procrastinate a lot. i know that’s an iffy one becuase people without adhd can procrastinate too but still. it’s bad.

i can completely tune out of a conversation but my body still responds. like i’ll nod at the perfect times and actually respond like “that’s so cool!” and “wait why?” but i’m not there at all.

i usually need two things to do at a time. if one of the things require full attention, i need another thing that requires no attention. like listening to a podcast while i color. read while i eat. folding laundry while i watch tv. but some things, like music, require a little more attention than none. so if i listen to music i can’t read or watch tv. i have to do a craft, or something else that music won’t distract me from.

it takes me a long time to understand what a question is asking. like i have to really look at it until it clicks. like i don’t have problems with tests or stuff, i think, its just timed games like jeopardy, i have to really dig into my mind.

speaking of digging into my mind. most things i know i remember. like if you ask me, for example, some of the symptoms of adhd that i have, ill be like oh yeah i have a lot. but i can’t remember it from the top of my head. i know it’s in there. id just have to dig for it. and that takes a lot of mental work. think of it like this: i have a box. on the box, it says “symptoms” or soemthing. i can show you the box, its a heavy box. i know there’s a lot of symptoms in that box. i could open it if i wanted to. look, i say, i have my symptoms right here. but then, i want to actually remember those symptoms, i have to put in work. sure i know i have the answer in my brain, i just have to find it. i have to open the box. i have to rip off the tape and pry it open and unwrap it. i’ll get there eventually, it’s just a lot of work. does that make sense? probably not.

and there’s your example ^^ but i over explain things a lot. like way too much. i need to say an example for every single thing i try to explain or else i feel like you won’t really understand.

when i’m overwhelmed, i hone in on one specific thing that makes me more overwhelmed. like i can deal with some background noise, but like if it’s too much and i start noticing the sound of someone chewing or their CONSTANT SNIFFLING DURING A MOCK EXAM, then my brain starts focusing on that for some reason and i just can’t.

i need to blink really hard sometimes because it’s not satisfying enough until i blink hard enough to itch or feel my whole eyelid. i used to do this when i was in elementary school alot and got insecure of it because people would ask about it. i forgot about it until recently and its starting again.

there are a lot of things i do that are kind of ocd but im NOT SELF DIAGNOSING im just saying. like if i touch a weird texture, i have to wipe it away or something on a nice texture. like if i touch cardboard with short nails, sure i could no longer be touching the cardboard, but i now have to now rub my finger against something smooth in the EXACT same way to make it feel like the feeling is gone. also, similar to the blinking thing, i feel like i need to get into the teeny tiny corner of things. like not actually the corner of a room, but like i need to feel the skin between my fingers, i like to push the ends of my fingers away from my nails so it feels like there’s space there, etc.

if my hands are slightly sticky, oh it’s over for me.

when i was younger, i would get this feeling in my stomach that’s probably anxiety (even though people don’t understand what i was talking about when i explain it) usually when im just sitting there and i feel like i need to DO something. or run around or stretch out my stomach.

and id get this feeling also when i was wearing shoes and i couldn’t stretch my toes up or something i would get really anxious like i need to stretch my toes but i can’t.

similarly, when i took piano lessons, i would get that anxious feeling when i had to use the pedal and i had to lift up my foot and it would feel way too up or something. like when i bent my foot back too much and held it there.

i can NOT sit normally. i physically cannot. i switch between like four positions. sitting on the edge of the seat with my legs either manspread or stretched out. sitting on one foot. one foot on the seat. both feet in the seat. knees to my chest. putting my feet on the bar of the desk. and i switch whenever one isn’t satisfying enough or feels uncomfortable.

i love finding stuff out about myself. that could also be a me thing but. i also love trying to figure out WHY. everything is caused by a biological thing or a mental thing or SOMETHING. every little thing your body does has a reason and a cause and i want to know why and what that cause is. my brain is wired to figure out WHY something happened.

i notice a lot of patterns in everything. i think about everything. i’m very aware of my feelings and i realize and connect a lot of things to emotions and advice and things people say. it’s hard to explain. like when something happens the first thing i think of is “oh so this is what this saying means” or “this is why people give out that advice” or “this is why people struggle with this because it’s harder than i thought to control”. i don’t know if that makes any sense at all.

this is also why i loved math as a kid. because it was all patterns. i would find much easier ways of solving the questions and my teacher got upset because its confusing the other kids but like.. its easy??

im very self aware. this could also be a me thing. i acknowledge my feelings and i like to journal and explain them and talk about them and stuff.

i have high empathy. this could be a me thing once again but i’ve heard neurodivergent people experience this. like i would hear stories on tiktok or something about people being treated poorly by their parents or friends and I would get SO mad. id want to crawl through the screen and show them how they should be treated. idk.

time management is out the window. i see twenty minutes left and im like “welp too late to do homework!” when in reality i could get like two things done in that time.

HELLA awkward when it comes to emotions. like talking about them with people. also could be a me thing.

also could just be a me thing. i would have trouble with hygiene like remembering to brush teeth and showering because i just forget.

completely forgetting about things because they’re just gone from my brain. and then not understanding when people get mad that i forgot. like how is it my fault that i forgot?? my brain decided to keep this information from me.

i know change is a big thing with neurodivergent people but im not completely opposed to it? only if its like something i was expecting, even if it was subconsciously. like my dad does these pizza nights on fridays. my brain was ready to have pizza and watch a movie at my dads house, but when the schedule changed i got so mad and completely refused to eat at my moms house, even if it meant making pizza at 11 at night at my dads house. or change in shows, especially comfort shows. like when one character or multiple move on and go away from the main plot and its like NOO WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING ON WHY CANT YOU JSUT DO THE SAME THING FOREVER. PLEASE STOP TRYING NEW THINGS.

this is absolutely just germaphobia but i want to include it. crumbs or just THINGS gross me out. there are mystery crumbs in the table? i’m grossed out. it’s close to me and i have to pay attention to where im putting my hand? oh god. then my friend wipes it away with her BARE HANDS and continues on LIKE GIRL UR INFECTED NOW. THERES PROBABKY STUFF ON YOUR HANDS. it’s worse when they don’t even notice. like my friend had crumbs in her phone screen and doesn’t notice or care AND I CANT. she once wiped yogurt off the side of her cup with her finger And i had to look away. i don’t care if she cleaned it after i can watch that. especially when im overstimulated.

For the love of god I am CHUGGING electrolytes why do I feel horrible still

Does anyone else’s health problems (whether it be mental or physical) kinda look more like a grocery list

CPTSD? check!

Anxiety? Check!!

BPD (beautiful princess disorder)? Check!!!

Autism ? Check!!!!

Undiagnosed illness that doctors aren’t figure out and the labs come back fine but you’re still suffering???? CHECK!!!!!!

And so many more!!! (ㆁωㆁ*)

The good thing about having ADHD is that I know a task will take only 20 minutes.

The bad thing is that I know it'll take 20 minutes

I just wanna fester and disappear into the void why do I have to pay to study for money that imma eventually get again. Might as well buy more soft toys with that money instead.