Variant Reader - Blog Posts

Variant, Loki x Fem. Reader

He forgot that you had variants too

A/N: Angst angst angst (_ _) How do we feel about a part 2? Let me know!

Enjoy!

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In his youth, Loki had floated around the pool of romance on a whim. He'd been with plenty of men and women. Even neither. It made no difference to him. They never stuck. For one reason or another. May it be his doing or the others. Ending was inevitable.

He was to busy for relationships anyway. He had Thor and his friends to go on grand quests with. That was far better than something as phony as love. Deep down though, he knew that he was just scared. Insecure to a few different capacities.

So he played games. Toyed around and ran away like the coward he was. He had his moments of emotional honesty with himself and broke down every once in a while over it. Nobody was really there for him. His mother was sure, but she was in the kind of way that a parent would be.

Not what he needed fully. And then there was Y/N. His personal maid since childhood. She was only two years younger than him. Next to family, she was his closest friend. There for him no matter the situation. He held her close to his heart, but not nearly close enough.

The fact of the matter was, the girl had been desperately in love with him. And for a long time running. He unconsciously loved her too, but his overbearing desire to prove himself to his father prevented those feelings from ever seeing the light of day.

It was the day that he found out he was a frost giant that the girl had worked up the courage to confess to him. By the time she had found him, he was an absolute disaster. Heartbroken over the lie that had been his life until now. He confided in her, and in her best judgment she went to assist the Jotuns.

So she headed down to the relect chamber to fulfill said intentions.

Unfortunately though, she hadn't told Loki her plan. She didn't get the chance to, as he had to go to Thor's coronation. So, he didn't tell the Jotuns she'd be there. Unaware of who she was and seeing her as a threat, the Jotuns killed her. He was crushed. Absolutely heartbroken.

It wasn't until then that he realized how much he loved her. He used her death to fuel his hatred. Instead of blaming himself, he blamed Odin. She would have never died if Odin hadn't kept what he really was from him for his entire life.

During his whole scape across the universe and attempting to take over Midgard, he at first kept up his using her death as motivation. But thinking about it only caused him to grow even more emotionally unstable than he already was. So he forced himself to forget about her entirely. And then he got arrested by the TVA.

Which was all fine and dandy when he reluctantly gave into working for them. Amidst all the chaos revolving the case around his one variant, there was still other general work to be done. And that was analyzing the new variants that came in along side Mobius.

Loki was sat at Mobius' cubicle, mindlessly messing around with a pen out of sheer boredom. He spun around in the chair, his eyes wandering the office space. They landed upon Casey who happened to be walking by. Seeing an opportunity to do literally anything, he took it.

"Casey!" Loki exclaimed quickly, "Casey Casey! Stop, stop a moment!" His awkward co-worker came to a halt, turning to look at him. Casey seemed confused. He pointed at Loki, "What are you doing here?"

"What? What do you mean? There's literally nothing for me to do right now"

"I thought Mobius told you..? Another variant came in. You're supposed to be with him right now"

"What?!" Loki sprung to his feet. Another Variant? He had no idea. However, he certainly wasn't going to miss anymore of the action. It had to be better than doing what he just was.

"Uh yeah.. They're already in the time theater"

Wasting no further time, he booked it to the time theater. He got there rather quickly, but was stopped by B-15 at the door. She put a hand on his chest, forcing him to a stop.

"Uh-uh. Nope. Analyzers only."

Loki scoffs, putting his arms up in exasperation.

"I am a real analyzer. C'mon. Let me through"

"No, you are a Variant. Nice try"

"Ah." Loki smiles with a firm nod, "Right. In that case:" He quickly shoves past B-15 and bursts into the time theater.

"Loki no!" The slam of both doors being thrown open instantly caught the attention of Mobius and the variant sitting across from him. Loki strutted further into the room, B-15 quickly following after him.

"Mobius! Why didn't you tell me there was a variant to be analyzed? Aren't I meant to be learning from you or did the Time Lords change their bigoted minds?"

"Loki? No, no. What are you doing in here? B-15, come on man, what the heck?"

"He shoved right past me! I tried to stop him!"

"Oh let's be civil. What's the big deal in me-"

Then his eyes landed on you. Sitting there in the TVA jail uniform and collar looking confused. The words died in his throat and his feet stopped moving. In the same moment, your gazes met. E/C eyes staring dead into his. Eyes he hadn't seen in years.

His heart lurched in his chest. How could it have slipped his mind that she'd have variants too? Every single suppressed memory and thought of her suddenly flooded to the front of his mind. That's all there was. All he could see was you.

"...oki!" A faint voice echoed in his ears. "Loki!" He snapped out of his trance, his gaze flicking to a mildly panicked Mobius.

"Loki, c'mon go. You can't be in here"

"What? No. Mobius-"

"No. I know who she is just as well as you do. She is not the same person. She is a variant"

"You think I don't know that?!"

"Of course you don't! I saw the way you were looking at her! C'mon"

As Mobius spoke, he placed a hand on the back of his friend, turning them around and attempting to usher Loki out the door. Then another voice cut into the conversation: yours.

"What's going on?"

Both the men froze up and tensed. You didn't fully understand what was happening right now. Being arrested for a crime against time was overwhelming enough as it was, and now this? Your day was just going beautifully. Mobius look back at you, continuing to usher Loki to the door.

"Uh- Nothing Y/N. Just telling my assistant here that his presence isn't needed right now"

"Assitant?!"

Baffled by Mobius' gall, Loki pulled away from the grey haired man.

"I am not your assistant!"

"Okay look, assistant or not, can we please get on with this? Today has been extremely stressful and you two seriously aren't helping"

Mobius, mildly stunned by your statement, blinks. After a big pause of silence, he responds.

"Uh- Yeah, yeah. Just give us ten seconds alright? Loki, a moment please?"

The raven haired man gave you one more backwards glance before going out into the hallway with Mobius. Once the double doors shuttered closed, Mobius smacked Loki in the arm.

"What do you think you're doing Loki?!"

"Me?!"

"Yes!"

"I haven't done anything!"

"Haven't done-" Mobius cut himself off in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. A deep sigh left him and he lowered his hand. "I know you. And I know who you think she is. But news flash! She's a variant! That is not the Y/N you know!"

"I know that!"

"Do you? Do you really?"

"Yes!"

"Loki, I saw the way you were looking at her. This is exactly why I didn't tell you about this case because I knew-"

"Mobius, I can handle it. I can handle being around her. I'm- It's been years. I'm fine"

Fine. Such a flippant word. The definition both often varying and used in incorrect mannerisms. Loki's claim was a prime example of that. And Mobius couldn't be more aware of it. Despite his awareness, hesitation etched itself into the tracks to his train of thought.

If there was anyone who believed in Loki, it was him. Why should right now be an exception? It shouldn't. He held hope for and believed in his friend. All those walls screaming to tell his friend that he couldn't take his word began to crumble. And so, he relented. Placing one hand on his hip and the other on the side of his head, Mobius gave an answer.

"Okay fine. But I'm not letting you two alone. Got it?"

"Got it. Now, shall we?"

"Yes we shall"

The two men reentered the time theater, instantly catching your attention. You look at Loki, but his gaze nearly refused to meet yours. Not fully, at least. Strange, he seemed to cocky when he bursted in only a minute ago. Now he was almost cowardly. Perhaps he was before and you just misread him.

"Sorry about that Y/N, looks like Loki's gonna stay after all. Now, where were we?"

Mobius resumed his seat across from you while Loki stood next to the man. Your curious stare remained on him as you fought to come up with an answer to Mobius' question.

"Uh.. You were showing me what could have been if I hadn't created that nexus event"

"Yes that's right, thank you"

With the click of a few keys, the holograph continued its show. Reluctantly, you tore your attention away from Loki and returned it to the cinematographic 'should've beens'. It would be crucial to mention that your nexus event was small. Or something that should have been. A meaningless break of your morning routine.

Just once. Skipping your stop at the coffee shop you made every day on your way to work. You were running low on funds and had gotten enough sleep the night before to function without coffee. So why not save a few bucks and get to work early? Unfortunately though, not buying that coffee ended up being a crime against time.

Ironic, given your intentions. Mobius went on to show you how if you would have gone into that coffee shop, you would have met a man. Loki. Or, his variant to your timeline. You recognized him immediately. It made you a bit uncomfortable. When his face popped up in the hologram, you and Loki shared a look. Suspicion from you, heartache from him.

The two of you were meant to bump into each other and both of your drinks to poor all over you. He was going to be angry at first, then get a good look at you and falter. You'd end up apologizing mutually, and cracking a few horrible flirty attempts of jokes. This would make you late to work. And make him miss his deadline to turn in paperwork.

Paperwork which was the final, crucial step for him to officially run for president. That stopped him from winning the election, or even running for that matter. As well as keeping him from turning the country into the next best thing to hell. Instead the two of you would fall in love. Albeit over time and a series of long, awkward drawn out dates: the evil wouldn't come.

Only you went and crated that nexus event. Costing both yourself and him the loves of your lives, but the peace of the country. It was a lot to take in. Seeing yourself look so.. happy. So complete. With the same man only a few feet away no less. At some point, tears had begun to slip from your eyes. It was only when one soaked through your jumper when you noticed.

This was weird.

"So, how do you feel?"

You look over at Mobius, pain and confusion making up your expression. Lifting a pointed finger to the frozen hologram of you and that Loki dressed in your wedding attire you answered.

"Is that real?"

"Real as you and me"

Disbelief mixed with a little bit of something else twisted your insides. No wonder it was a crime. You took away your own life. Or at least, that's how you saw it.

"I feel.. sick."

Loki listened and watched just as intently as you had. To every word Mobius spoke. To every image shown. Was it cursed that he'd lose you in every timeline as well? Cruel was the person behind this all.

"Yeah, I bet. This kinda stuff can get pretty sickening. I-"

"Can I have a moment, please?"

Your request caught Mobius a little off guard. Still, what you just saw was a lot to handle. Needing a bit of space to process wasn't against the laws of time.

"Sure," He stood, placing a hand on Loki's shoulder, "we'll just-"

"No!”

Both men looked at you in befudlement.

"I'm sorry, I just.. Can he stay? I mean, that had to been hard for him to see too. If he's in a similar boat, y'know?"

"Uhh.." This wasn't good. But, he could see just how badly Loki wanted the same thing as you. A heavy sigh left Mobius. "Yeah. Though, I can't leave you two alone for long. Got it?"

All you could do was nod in response. Mobius gave Loki's shoulder a squeeze, getting the man's attention. He leaned in closer, his voice dropping so as not to reach your ears. "Don't do what I think you're gonna, okay?" Loki returned a silent promise of confirmation. Mobius didn't like this. Not one bit. He knew the stakes at risk here by doing this. Either way, he left the room and you two all alone.

The echo of his departing footsteps followed by the door shutting sounded much louder than it realistically was. What now?