Very Hard - Blog Posts
I made a new video guide for Glimmer & Gloom Very Hard, I hope it helps!
♪ Mitski – Washing Machine Heart (slow & reverb)
TW: child abuse.
it was hard after an unsuccessful attempt to sit down to write this again, but i need this. sad things is on topic today.
Tolya's childhood can be called quite happy and even carefree. his parents loved him and protected him, but, of course, they could not protect him from everything. Tosha's socialization during elementary school was particularly difficult, he was very different from other (especially human) children. and yet, he hardly felt any attention from them, which could not be said about the teachers, whom he always offended with his psychopathic self-willed behavior. nevertheless, he studied well and had no hard problems until a certain point: the class teacher was replaced by a new one and then the situation changed dramatically. the new teacher's attention to Tolya and the other children was different – it was sick, poisonous. she called the students "her children" and the school "their second home". everyone liked her except Tosha and some other students. she often scolded and punished him and the others. she seemed to "love" him especially. she allowed herself a lot in relation to him.
Tosha's academic performance declined significantly during that period, he often began to refuse to go to school and this could not go unnoticed. eventually, his father found out about everything and immediately went to investigate in person. after a while, the teacher was fired and a couple of articles on the web were even devoted to this case. and Tolya has been home-schooled ever since.
it's been years since then. Anatoly already become an adult conscious person, coped with a lot of problems, but there is one, difficult and complex, that haunts him to this day.
intimacy is hard for him, especially sexual ones, although he himself is not yet able to realize it. and yet he still allows others to break his boundaries, to do whatever they want with his body. grab, push, "love"... after all, he's a psychopath, this means nothing to him. no one feel sorry for someone like him. who can even hurt someone like him.
As a writer whose default is dialogue, kudos right back to writers who use more description and such. Y'all put so much detail into your works and I love it, wish I could explain what I visualize as well as you guys do
kudos to writers with dialogue-heavy works, I got mad respect for y'all. love using dialogue as a tool, but my default settings are non-verbal (dialogue) and non-stop yapping (description).