i went on a walk today again and i kept thinking about how the more you try to control what happens in your life, the more unhappy you will be with it. at least up to a certain point. the more you think you know what you want, the unhappier you will be once you get it and realize what the reality of living with it is like.
society is so fixated on finding your purpose, reaching goals and achievements but that's mainly because we're scared of dying and realizing how miniscule our existence really is in the grand scheme of things. that's one of the main reasons why so many people wanna be remembered for something. and there's nothing wrong with wanting that but there's also nothing wrong with not finding your purpose, or just achieving things that society deems "small" or "unimportant". if it's important to you then it matters. our baseline purpose is to just live our lives and exist. anything else on top of that is a bonus, but not necessary.
if i learned one thing in my almost 30 years of existing, it's that during the course of your life you will realize the ways in which you will reach your goals or find your purpose will be different than you imagined. the less you resist that truth, the less you will be worried about the future and the more at peace you will feel with your existence.