Well Said - Blog Posts
Of Love
Summary: Traitor!Mic tries to convince Aizawa to change sides. It goes as badly as everyone knew it would. Very self-indulgent.
Relationships: Erasermic however way you want to see it
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Hizashi doesn’t regret what he did, but he sure as hell wished he hadn’t had to do it.
Aizawa sat in front of him, caged and shackled, while Hizashi stood before him, a free man.
That is, a free man under perhaps the cruelest ruler of Japan.
“Why didn’t you just listen to me?” Hizashi asked. Aizawa hasn’t spared him a single glance since he entered. No remorse. No horror. No anger. Nothing. Hizashi guessed that was what he deserved considering it was his actions that put Aizawa in that position in the first place.
When the silence dragged on for too long, Hizashi finally spoke again. “I had to do it. You were going to start a war you couldn’t win and you were going to get everyone else killed with you. I couldn’t watch you and the others drag those kids through a war and let them get killed. I had to do something.”
“Hm. So you sold them out to the one person who wants to destroy the world they want to protect?” Aizawa’s voice was still as dead and ruthless as ever.
“At least my way they’ll be able to live in that world.” Hizash answered back without hesitation. “He’s not going to hurt them. That was the deal. They’re going to have a life, Aizawa.”
“And what kind of life would that be, Yamada? He will never let them out of his sight and you know that. If any of them make one wrong move against, they’re dead. And you and I both know those kids will.” Aizawa said, finally glancing up at Hizashi with those dark piercing eyes.
If he imagined hard enough, Hizashi could almost make himself believe that it was just another normal Monday at the office and Aizawa was mad at him for playing his music too loud. That those eyes digging into his soul was because of affection, not this...not hatred. The hardest part of this whole traitor business wasn’t working for a madman. No.
It was being hated by the one person who knew him the most.
“Aizawa, that is why you need to come to this side,” Hizashi urged. “Those kids trust you. Whatever choice you make, they won’t be far behind. If you denounce the whole hero system now, then you live and they’ll follow you and they’ll live. Some other heroes have already done it. It’s better than being dead.”
Aizawa scoffed. “Was that your logic when you chose to betray us all?”
“I did it to save you, Aizawa.”
“And look where that’s gotten me.”
Hizashi doesn’t have time to respond before several men are rushing in. At the helm of all this was the man himself.
“All For One,” Aizawa growled, swiftly focusing all his attention on the evilest lord of all time, aka Hizashi’s new boss. “What have you done with the kids?”
“I’ve kept my word with your friend here. They’re alive and safe, rest assured,” All For One grinned and places a possessive hand on Hizashi’a shoulder. He doesn’t like it there. “I see your friend has still not taken your offer of freedom.”
Hizashi opened his mouth to speak, but Aizawa bested him to it. “No I have not. Next time don’t send a lackey to do your job.” The insult felt like salt on an open wound.
“Well,” All For One turned to Hizashi. “I told you he wouldn’t take the offer, and after everything you sacrificed to give it to him. What a waste.”
Aizawa looked up skeptically between the two of them, finally choosing to address Hizashi. “Yamada what is he talking about? What did you sacrifice?” The way he asked that, Hizashi had almost mistaken for concern, like he had been worried about Hizashi. But no. That couldn’t be. Not after everything.
“He didn’t tell you, Eraserhead? He’s given me his voice quirk in exchange for a chance to get you to change sides.” All For One laughed loudly and Hizashi was nearly sure he was using the stolen quirk for that. “You see, heroes that oppose me don’t get chances like this. They’re executed in front of a crowd, but Yamada has been so helpful that I allowed him this. And even if things didn’t go as planned, I promised him I would allow you the dignity of a non-public death.”
Aizawa’s eyes widened at the revelation. Whether it was because of Hizashi’s quirk being taken or the realization that many of their friends are dead, Hizashi didn’t really know. At the moment, he couldn’t even gather the courage to look directly at his friend anymore.
“I’m sorry, Yamada, but this is the end of the line for Eraserhead. You can say your finally goodbyes if you wish.” All For One encouraged, but doesn’t give them any privacy.
Hizashi racks his brain for any words. What was he supposed to say now? After everything, after years of friendship, after years of love, after committing the worst crime Hizashi has and will likely ever commit against the person he loved most, what can he say?
“I’ll take care of the kids, Aizawa. They won’t be hurt as long as I’m around.” It’s all Hizashi could think to say. It’s likely what Aizawa would want to hear in his last moments; that someone was going to watch out for his kids.
Aizawa doesn’t say a word and Hizashi can’t bring himself to even look at the man anymore. It hurt too much.
All For One pushes him aside, whatever quirk he was readying for the execution quickly coming to life at his finger tips. Hizashi doesn’t want to be here when it happens, but there’s no way he can leave. He won’t leave Aizawa. Not until the very end.
“Any last requests, Eraserhead?” All For One asks, arm raised and ready to fire.
“You,” Aizawa choked out, a sob barely hidden behind the voice. “You.”
What?
Why would he want All For One?
Curiosity gets the better of Hizashi and he finally looks up at his life long partner for what is perhaps the last time. It surprises him when he realizes, Shouta is looking at him.
“You.” He speaks again.
Oh.
Shouta wants...
He wants...
“You, Hizashi. I just want you.” He repeats with fondness and heartbreak and brokenness and a tear-stained face and that almost smile that makes Hizashi feel like he’s coming home. “I love you. I love you, Hizashi.”
The words don’t quite register completely. He knows, he knows Shouta loves him. And that’s all he can think about right now; the years of laughter, of training together, of patrol, of losses, of triumphs, of disasters, of surprise late night radio call-ins, of gifted sleeping bags, of jelly pouches, of cat videos, of...of...
Of love.
Shouta keeps his eyes on Hizashi and time slows. Shouta’s mouth turns into a melancholy smile. It doesn’t fit, not with the Shouta that Hizashi knows. It’s still the same face, still the same eye abs and dead eyes and stubble. But he’s accepted death, accepted that this is the end.
The last thing Shouta wanted him to know, wanted the world to know, was that he loved Hizashi.
And the next thing Hizashi knows, he’s taking that hit for Shouta before he can think better of it.
for the love of god, write all the self-indulgent scenes you want. be utterly shameless about including every last fantasy. i know everyone likes to share quotes and quips about how miserably hard writing is, but please please try thinking of it as a joyful act where you get to be a messy human who makes art rather than some pain filled quest for icy perfection.
Shout out to writers who can’t do plots, who write about feelings and moments in time instead. I love reading those fics, and I love writing those fics. Keep on peering into the depths of characters’ hearts and souls in the little moments. You’re exploring the places where canon often fears to tread.
while i get and agree with the fact that gay people should probably play gay people and gay stories are best written by gay people, the fervor to prove that “straight people shouldn’t play gay characters!!” is what the interviewer used to forcibly out lee pace so like
idk maybe slow your roll and realize that like… actors can be closeted, content creators can be closeted, and tbh this “you can only write your own experiences, never write someone else’s” rhetoric is also a bigot’s fucking wet dream?? like the perfect excuse to never write diverse characters?? and to say that they have nothing in common with people who don’t look/love/exist the same way as them??
yeah, the author of simon vs the homo sapien’s agenda is a cis straight woman, which means love, simon (though directed by a married gay man with multiple gay characters played by gay/bi actors) is based on a novel written by a straight woman… but this straight woman literally ends her book acknowledging the LGBT teens who helped her write the book and make sure she was writing it appropriately.
this is the content we want
listen… EVERY SINGLE piece of media EVER involves some level of writing about experiences that are not your own, especially if it’s diverse. even bland stories just about white people involves an author writing about genders that are not their own. if you want a story with characters of color, white authors are going to have to write about those perspectives. if you want gay characters in every story, straight authors are gonna have to write about those perspectives. even LGBT narratives might involve gay authors writing about bi characters or cis authors writing about trans characters.
what we HOPE FOR when they do that is that they talk to people… actually belonging to those groups to learn what is and isn’t appropriate and true to life. which is what the author of simon vs the homo sapien’s agenda did.
it’s exactly what she did. she literally worked in a support group for LGBT and GNC kids, saw they did not have cute love stories written for them after they told her this, and then worked with them to give them the love story they craved.
this is a good thing. this is progress for lgbt people. this is the path we need to walk towards getting LGBT content created by LGBT authors.
when you attempt to take the ~moral ground on protesting this film, all you’re doing is telling people who fund these projects that gay products don’t sell. they don’t get the nuance of what you’re going for. and, chances are, you’re looking like a fucking hypocrite, because i can promise you most of the canon gay characters you stan profit a cishet somehow (if they’re even canon).
so, y’unno, as someone who has read simon vs the homo sapien’s agenda AND seen the fucking movie let me tell you!! it’s fine!! it’s diverse beyond having gay character, it’s written respectively, and it hit home on a lot of experiences i WISH i had as a gay teen. it’s corny, it’s silly, and it’s all i ever would have wanted at 13, 14, 15
if you don’t want to see it, just fucking say so! but don’t act like you’re doing it on moral grounds. you can just… not like a movie or not want to see it without it being some moral victory.
If my femininity within the context of my own life threatens you to the point that you feel the need to attack my life choices, maybe you need to reevaluate why you feel so threatened by traditional feminity. Because it’s not like I’m asking you to live the same way I do.
I’m just asking for the same freedom you want, to live in a way that makes me happy.
👏👏👏
Okay, I’m gonna do a separate post since I don’t want to hijack @dad-plo-koon‘s post.
Here’s my theory about why Mandalore is the way it is in TCW. Even better, the canon isn’t saying I’m wrong.
Cut for length:
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