When The Pawn - Blog Posts
❝ how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone? ❞
fiona apple, left alone 2012
fiona apple in the 90s
“To understand me you must eat me,
consume every thought that has surpassed the minds of most at my young age,
you will consume the musical magic that has orchestrated my life,
you will see where my wit stems from,
my pain will finally be understood by those other than myself, by you my love,
to eat is to love so consume me and love every part of me,
from the tip of my toes to the top of my head,
every cell that has died and been born within this vessel of which i call my body,
every stream of blood that becomes me you will take into your system and you will feel me,
my emotions will come in waves, washing over you and giving you the guilt i once felt,
for this day,
you will ache like i ache.”
this made sense in my head atleast :|
"When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he'll win the whole thing before he enters the ring
There's nobody to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand then you know where to land
And if you fall it won't matter ''cause you know that you're right" Fiona Apple 1999
Ive been thinking about this poem a lot recently.
𝓲 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓼𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮₊˚⊹ ࿔
~🔮🌞🥀~
~i find raw emotions beautiful, the ‘uglier’ they are the more beautiful i think they are because its genuine. Im disgusted but also mesmerised by my own emotions. I only ever want to get worse. ive never had any wish to recover. It hurts but its the hurt that i feed off. if thst makes sense. time and time again i tend to imagine myself at the bottom of a tower thats like a prison, sprawled out on the floor. suffering because i’d finally let myself succumb to my mental illness. I dont know if any of this even makes sense.i i think its time for a cigarette🫶💖i dont wanna live(ldr reference) but atleast music is good~
𖦹₊ ⊹Anyway heres a poem~
how to never stop being sad
let the anguish fester inside of you,
let the chilling hands of this demon become your embodiment,
let the waterfall free from the imprisonment of your eyes,
drain yourself of the blood congested in your veins,
drench yourself in the crimson trickling into the crevices of your body,
as if swimming in the deepest body of water,
let yourself drown,
become the sorrows you fear,
depleted as you begin to embrace the void,
leave it free to poison your mind and body till your left an empty carcass,
walk through the simulation of life,
a living dead girl,
the void in your eyes so potent,
let the torment orchestrate your life.
~.°˖✧ 1 of 89 poems ✧˖°.~
im not so sure whether i like the poem or not but its there to read anyway<3🫶💖
~𝜗𝜚
no one really cares for what i have to say, not even my ‘friends’.this blog is like my safe space idk.i spent ages trying to make this perfect.hopefully this post reaches the girls(and non girls) that get it!💖
⋆⭒˚.⋆if your reading this i love you ₊˚⊹ ᰔ
~𝜗𝜚
Song im listening to~
(i do this because i love music and im always listening to music and i like letting people know what im into)
I know - Fiona Apple
Fiona Apple When the Pawn art I did for a project!