I hope I’m a better sister to you than she was to me. I love you so much it hurts. I think about you every day. You’re an ass, you can be a pain, and you can be unkind. But I would walk into fire for you. I would do anything to keep you safe. I wish I could do more for you.
I don’t know how you see me, but I’d rather be kind and uncertain, than never be kind at all.
I know what you did.
You give me one of those terribly awkward side-hugs. You comment on my town, and how you'll have to come visit sometime. You are not welcome in my home. I smile and reply politely.
But our eyes don't lie. In yours I can see pity. "What ever happened to her?" "It's s shame, really. She used to be so sweet." Perhaps a hint of fear. You know that I know. You know that I remember.
In my gaze hangs only hatred.
There is a certain horror in outlasting.
I am the perpetual survivor; steadfast eternal. As the world crumbles into sand between my fingers, I live on.
But dear God. I wasn't supposed to outlive you.
Trapped in my own personal Hell – doomed to watch my loved ones killed before me. And there's nothing I can do.