Why is it that the responsibility of communication always falls into me. Like you don't have anything to say until I text you, you don't want to tell me anything about that new promotion or partner until I want to call you up for comfort from a friend, you don't have anything to tell me until I reach out. Then like if we see each other in public it's always " You haven't called in a minute, is everything okay with you" or " We haven't talked in a bit" or "You should call more", if you truly wanted to talk then why don't you call? Why is it when I am mad or when I cry (which I don't do often) is it you want to tell me about all the good things happening to you while I just want to rant to you, or you want to complain about the fucking barista making your drink wrong?!?! Why does my life have to be put on hold for others or you have to compare you or your partner working a bit more to buy a fucking house together to my fucking fiance proposing then cheating! Or the fact that your mom/dad forgot to show up to your game ONE FUCKING TIME to my parents never showing to support me only to talk down about how shit I am to my parents not having one fucking photo of me or an achievement of mine but has my siblings finger paintings from kinder, to my parents not going to both of my graduations from high school and college! Like I want to complain that I couldn't do what I loved because I got shitty ass knees that affect my hips and lower back, I don't want to listen to you compare it to you breaking your leg when you were seven! Then they all get mad when I say anything like what the fuck am I suppose to do, not tell you how shit you treat me? Let you walk all over me?! I call you once in a while to talk to you about you but when I call once in a pink fucking moon to talk about me, I'm the bitch for not wanting you to compare yourself to me when it doesn't relate. I like when people try to relate by telling their problems that actually relate to what I am going through, not you saying dumb shit like "oh when I was 12 I moved and lost my friends but it only took a minute to get new ones" to my "I feel like I am being abandoned by my loved ones that I keep trying to please, did I do something wrong, am I upsetting others?". Like no you not seeing your partner a lot because you are putting in extra hours at work to afford a home together does not compare to me being scared to leave my cheating partner because I will have no where to go. Yes that is a problem and something we could talk about when I am not on the verge of a panic attack because of my problem. Then when say all of this people are like you are the problem, you are the reason people don't reach out to you. Like how am I at fault!!!???