Widomauk - Blog Posts
There was an Agreement
Between the Circus Kids, as Caleb had taken to calling them, there had been a longstanding agreement not to let the other forget anything important. Not when they knew that it could happen and how much it would hurt them to realize it when it did.
It had been Mollymauk’s idea. It was why he had given Yasha the book she used to press flowers and small keepsakes meant to be passed on to the woman she had wanted to show the world to. It had been Mollymauk’s idea, to find her on a bad night, and prod her back to reality to ask the small questions. The important questions.
“What colour were her eyes, love?”
“What did she used to call you again?”
“Can you tell me that story about that time you fell into the swamp? That was funny and I need a laugh.”
Yasha remembered every question. Every detail it had been meant to drudge up and back to the front of her mind. Every small smile she missed and the way Zuala’s eyes would light up right before she laughed. She remembered every small pattern of speech and the way her wife had been so fierce in her love.
And she remembered the way Mollymauk would never let her forget.
“Caleb,” Yasha had always been afraid that her voice was too loud when she intruded on these moments the mage would take. These little reprieves long after the adventure was done and their future was safe. When there was a familiar lavender tiefling off exploring the world with no apparent recollection of them, and the life being built around the broken foundations between them was still unsteady in the wake of it all; “Do you remember Molly’s laugh?”
She did.
She heard it often enough. In her memory and in every fresh flower in a fresh book she wanted to keep for herself. In every way Kingsley would strut or swoop in and out of her life with the same exuberance that Mollymauk had once clung to her when she made her way back into his.
Caleb would smile at the question. “I believe we still hear it often enough, no?”
“No… No, I don’t think it’s the same. Do you remember that time we had in Zadash, when he tried to get you in on a con to get us rooms?”
There was a moment when Caleb would have to pause. To think. To realize exactly what was being asked.
His hands would shake sometimes, as he got the drinks for them from some cupboard or other. His eyes would be wet, his smile would be sad.
Yasha knew that Essek had tried to do the same. But it was different with someone who never knew the tiefling they both loved. Essek could never offer an opinion or correction. Beau would never want to correct them unless they twisted something so far out of the truth that she felt the need to make sure the truth was still there.
But they had an agreement to remember.
“Caleb,” Yasha would say, often with an arm around Caleb the same way she would once hold Mollymauk when he asked the same questions. She missed how he would climb into her lap with that annoying, feline grin of his. Caleb would lean against her and drink with her; “tell me about Molly.”
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(Also now at my AO3: Here)
Something something the inherent longing of sun and moon coded characters who love each other but feel like the other is just out of reach.
Caleb Widogast stood alone in the night.
Somewhere, along the way, someone had handed him some champagne.
something new for me and you by @sockablock is my whole life right now, and i just needed to draw something for the new chapter!! please check it out guys, you won’t regret it
Critical Role Ship Moodboards: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss
Quick, my fellow widomauk fans, I need your help!
If I was hypothetically thinking about making a short comic of a scene from a hypothetical fanfic idea where the Nein are folklore creatures in modern AU Nicodranas, and I hypothetically needed to pick a pet name for Molly to call Caleb in that scene
(For reference, Caleb is a phoenix and Molly is an ijiraq—the latter is a creature from Inuit folklore, I highly recommend looking them up if you’re interested in folklore they’re cool :D)
widomauk is heartbreaking to me because it truly feels like Molly always had a little soft spot for Caleb. But I think Caleb was trying to stay distant and didn't really let himself get attached like that, and he just. Didn't realize how much he actually cared about Mollymauk until his Circus Man was gone. And then, in his grief, he just held onto Molly even more, with all his heart.
Burying Mollymauk with his letter, asking Jester if she can bring him back, dropping to his knees to dig up Molly's grave with his own hands. The memorial in stained glass. Making sure there's a bedroom for when the last of the Nein finally comes home.
Caleb trying to convince himself to run, that night before Mollymauk dies. "Look at this one. He's like a walking rainbow. What is this? Why are you with him? It makes no sense. He's a circus performer. He's not going to help you."
And then in Eiselcross, Caleb asking himself why he should stay. Holding the Magician card in his hands, the card Molly drew for him, and admitting, "I know that we're supposed to go where Molly is. Otherwise we wouldn't have seen the things we've seen, we wouldn't be the Mighty Nein." Heading into Cognouza with every intent to save the friend he lost.
And it's this fascinating contrast of Molly falling for Caleb fast, but never taking things further than a little playful teasing. Because he knows how terrified Caleb is of intimacy, is still working out his boundaries, isn't ready to open up like that again. And then he's gone--too sudden, too soon. And in that absence, Caleb starts to spiral and just realize, Oh, I do love these people, this team, this little family.
And maybe he loved Molly, still loves Molly, and nurtures this growing fondness for him in quiet moments, worrying at the lucky stone in his pocket and daring to hope for reunion--