With Everything - Blog Posts
december daze (depressing af)
Wed, 22 Dec 2021 - 11:28pm -11:57pm
damn that
alliteration
decembers been kinda dismal ngl,
(take a shot every time you read a word beginning with d on this post)
feel like i’m in a daze, these past 5 days of christmas break have been lying in bed and listening to p!atd and maggie lindemann on repeat.
(productive i know)
it’s crazy to think i’ll be finishing secondary school within the next few months
i feel like i was robbed of two years of my life and it’s so weird because it’s like how can you feel nostalgic for something that was never there?
nostalgia in definition is
a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past
that’s not quite what i feel. i have a longing for a period in my past that never happened. i don’t feel wistful affection. i feel grief and loss for a time that never was. i’m almost 16 but i don’t feel that way. i feel like i lost what would have been two of the greatest years of my life and it’s like damn, 2020 and 2021 happened in a blur. where did they go.
(love that over dramaticness for me)
exams will be done and over with within the next 6 months, i’d like to make the most of that time inbetween studying to experience what i lost in that time stolen by covid.
NOTE:
i’d like to do monthly diary posts like these as something for my future self to look back on - from now on i’ll be including the date and times i started and finished writing posts at the top.
til next time ~Amimi