Worries - Blog Posts
Christmas 2017 (My thoughts)
Christmas. We are supposed to feel… Well. Happy, peaceful, full of spirit and joy. But this year… Too much happened. We don’t feel safe, we don’t feel content. We can’t relax, we can’t enjoy it… Too much happened this year and even in the Month of December the month of mirth and contemplation… We got bogged down by worry and it became even worse as our worries became reality again and again. How can we be joyful if we see a dark future? We will stand up against the nebulous and uncertain future, a future that is scaring us. We have too or the next Christmas may be even worse than this one. But we shouldn’t have to think about this, we shouldn’t drown in worries but we do because there are so many, even Christmas can banish them temporary this year, this year called 2017. And this isn’t just true for Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza and many other important Holidays were not so enjoyable this year for the people who celebrate them. Many had a bad 2017, many deserved a better one. Even if this Christmas, no ALL the holidays are not as great this year, just remember that the next year can, no HAVE to become better for us all. Do your best next year, so that next Christmas, that the next holidays will be a magnificent event that can make us all happy once again. Until then and despite everything: I wish you all a Merry Christmas, happy holidays and a happy new year.
How to be afraid
Be afraid that you'll drop-out from school and you'll never find another one where you can fit in. Be utterly frightened that your book will never be published and that it's rubbish. Be genuinely fearful of the fact that your body can break-down in any minute because you have a disease that you think you're "too young for". Be worried about never finding a proper job. Be scared of never finishing anything. Be completely, undeniably and irreversebly drenched with fear and worries.
It's 00:12 here, in my parents' kitchen, where I write these lines, while listening to some classy music, that I invited to create the illusion of uppercase-life. But all this, around me, is built on I don't know what. I'm supposed to know, I ought to know but somehow I feel struck by worries. I've been the guy who never felt fear, the one who never regretted failure. But the ground has been shrinking under my feet and I wasn't paying attention and now I'm just floating in nothing. I feel miserable and defeated. My body is broken and so is my spirit. I know I shouldn't give in to the circumstances but I feel vulnerable and hurt. I'm immensely frightened.
Oh goodness, why am I saying this nonsense? This attitude in itself is the manifestation of everything I am against. The Bible says I should pray and do it with a thankful heart. It's extremely hard to do. But not impossible. I'm thankful for the love of my life (yes, I know we're young). I can't express how thankful I am for the promise of eternal life. This is something, that most of you can't put your fingers on. Well neither can I. But I feel that it is not a lie or fantasy. I believe because I have this splinter in my soul, shrieking: YOU'RE SAVED. And I am, indeed. My faith is not the one of the weak. It's the one of humans. Because none of us can fight or trick death. We all are subjects to it. We all are limited and vulnerable. We are creations. I find my hope and basically my life in the Creator of all of us. Even in these times. So, cheer up :)
Life is not being fun to me right now.
I haven't slept well in days, I probably have ADHD, I'm stressed out because I want to buy a telescope but there's so much stuff to it and my parents just take it chill and don't care about the complexities, I miss my friends, I barely get to talk to people, and I'm losing people with each passing year and I never know how to get back in touch with them, my parents argue a lot, the whole family is disorganised and nobody talks to each other, I've got a pimple behind my ear that's annoying me, I'm scared of using Acne Cream because it requires daily use and I don't know if I'm up to that and the side effects concern me, and nothing feels like it matters anymore.
I just wish I could run away and see everyone again. And stay in touch with them. And just be happy with them forever.
The links between successful shifters- Shifting study results
When will my heart
Be as full of love
As my mind is full
Of worries?