Laravel

X Depressed Reader - Blog Posts

2 years ago

Markiplier x Depressed!Daughter!Reader - Voices

Requested by: azullluna

-----------

(Y/n) felt numb as she sat beside her bed. Fat tears ran down her face without any sign of stopping, flowing over barely visible bruises that had been healing for days. She wanted to stop crying, she wanted to love herself and be brave in front of others, but she wasn’t and couldn’t. 

The voices were so loud..

They tortured her, filling her mind with poison. They told her things she didn’t want to hear, but after listening to them for so long, she began to believe them. And the voices weren’t just in her head, they were outside it too, resonating from people she saw nearly every day. 

They would only laugh and work hard to make (Y/n)’s life miserable. Everyone seemed to be against her, the teachers, the principal, her classmates, everyone. Well, everyone except her father and his friends, but they didn’t know about the bullying and she didn’t dare tell any of them.

What if they agreed with it? 

They will

They’ll agree

They hate you

Everyone hates you

The alarm clock beside her showed the time. “6:57? Great.. Only around 45 minutes until my regularly scheduled hell.” (Y/n) was so tired. She hardly slept, her anxiety keeping her up until the ungodly hours of the morning, not allowing for much rest. How many times had she used makeup in order to hide the dark circles under her eyes and the bruises on her face?  Too many to count. (Y/n) just didn’t want her dad to worry.

But why would he be worried?

He doesn’t care

The alarm clock rang and (Y/n) covered her ears as more tears flowed down her face.

It’s so loud..

It’s too loud..

She shut the device off and grabbed a hoodie. She couldn’t let her dad see the bruises. (Y/n) did her make up, concealer and foundation covering the imperfections of her face. Walking out of the bedroom, fully dressed for the day, she trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen. There at the stove was her father, Mark Fischbach.

Noticing her presence in the room, he turned around and smiled at her. “Hey there, princess! Good morning!” He looked so happy. (Y/n) was secretly jealous of that happiness. She wanted to be just as happy as him but she couldn’t be. It was impossible. She forced a smile and waved to him. “Morning, dad.” Chica and Henry, the family’s two dogs, ran up to her excitedly, their tails wagging behind them. (Y/n) pet them, her hands feeling heavy and the sounds around her beginning to sound too loud for her tired body to process as she tried to prevent them from licking her face and thus removing her makeup. 

“I made pancakes, do you want any?” Asked her father and she shook her head. “I’m not hungry. Thanks though.” That was a lie. (Y/n) was starving and the smell of the griddle cakes certainly wasn’t helping. However, she didn’t want to eat anything.

It would be a shame if you got any bigger

Mark frowned at her refusal. Sure, he didn’t want to force food on her, but he noticed just how many times she had skipped breakfast lately. Pancakes were her favorite, and she refused them? That was odd. “Honey, are you feeling okay? You haven’t been acting like yourself recently.”

“I’m fine, dad.” The reply, to (Y/n)’s horror, sounded much more rushed than she meant it to be. Her dad was watching her, his eyes scanning her as if trying to find the answer to an unspoken question. “I.. need to go. See you later.” She said shakily, rushing away and out the door not hearing what her dad called after her.

Coward

When she arrived at school, (Y/n) was distracted by the memory of the look her father gave her. “Does he know? He couldn’t. I’ve been so careful. Was he worried about me?”

No he wasn’t

He doesn’t care

She walked into the classroom, being the first one in per usual. (Y/n) sat down at her desk and waited for the torture to start. Just like earlier this morning, she felt numb. You’d think that because of who her dad was, she would be a popular kid at school. She was, only it wasn’t a good kind of popular. Being the daughter of Makiplier meant that any complaints of bullying she had didn’t matter, especially if those complaints were about the spoiled brats of the rich parents who helped fund the many school projects and trips. They said she was only trying to seek attention and that her supposed bullies were “golden children” who could do no wrong.

No one cares about you

Attention seeker

As students began to arrive in the classroom, (Y/n) stayed quiet. Of course, her pretending to not exist didn’t mean that people couldn’t see her. Throughout the day, the voices got louder and louder with every smirk, jeer, and hit. She was shoved into lockers, punched multiple times for no reason, tripped by people in the classrooms and cafeteria alike, threatened by a teacher for speaking up and nearly falling asleep in class, and kicked in the legs just because. 

(Y/n) couldn’t stop the tears that fell as she sat in the girl’s bathroom, hiding from her classmates who were about to leave school. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve this treatment. 

Cry Baby

Worthless

Drama Queen

They never stopped, no matter how much she begged or pleaded. She was alone, so very alone. Everyone knew who her dad was (most of the school watched his YouTube channel and then word moved around fast), but they used that against her. 

You’re not pretty enough to be Markiplier’s daughter

Ugly

You weren’t even planned

You’re a literal accident

I bet he secretly regrets having and raising you. You’ve probably caused him so much trouble

Burden

Waste of space

Every day, every hour, every minute, the voices shouted louder and louder till she could barely hear anything else. (Y/n) had grown far too used to this treatment and her self esteem was at an all-time low. Everyone just seemed to have left her life and taken her happiness with them, leaving her behind in the dust to pick up the pieces of her broken heart and mind. 

Evil thoughts of pain and death had started to flood her mind long ago, but she didn’t want to die. How would her father react? How would everyone react? Would they miss her? Would they regret the bullying?

They wouldn’t miss you

No one cares

They’d be glad you’re gone

They’d regret nothing

The voices continued to spread their poison as she finally managed to calm herself down enough to leave the bathroom and go home.

When she returned from school, (Y/n) noticed new voices in the house. Irish and English alike, there were definitely guests here. She was able to recognize them and quickly moved through the house when she thought no one was looking. Her dad had probably told her that Jack, Ethan, Bob, Wade, Ethan, and Amy were coming over, but she had forgotten.

Useless

She got scared suddenly when she noticed Jack in the hallway leading to the stairs, talking to Ethan. They suddenly noticed her and smiled. “(Y/n)! Hi! It’s been forever since I’ve seen you! How was school?” Now she was really panicking. He couldn’t know. He’d probably tell her dad. 

“Uhh.. hi, Jack! School was.. Uh.. it was good I guess. School being what it is.” One after the other, Jack and Ethan opened their arms for hugs and she complied, though she hid a wince when they accidentally squeezed her fresh injuries. 

When the embraces ceased, she excused herself and ran up to her room without greeting anyone else. She closed the door and walked over to the mirror, taking off her sweater to observe the damage. Looking at what happened to her arms, she frowned. It didn’t look good at all. It would definitely take some time to treat these. “Better now than later.” She thought as she walked over to her desk, taking out a first aid kit. She turned on some music and got to work.

-downstairs-

Mark looked at the clock on his phone and frowned. “(Y/n) should’ve been home by now.” He checked his texts and email, but there was nothing from her school so that ruled detention out. “What’s wrong?” Asked Wade as he watched his friend in concern. “I expected (Y/n) to already have been home, but I don’t know where she is.” 

“Oh, (Y/n)? Don’t worry, she’s already here, we saw her. She should be up in her room.” Said Jack who walked in alongside Ethan. “Seriously? Dang, I didn’t hear her come in.” Said Mark in surprise but then he noticed Ethan frowning. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m worried about her. (Y/n) I mean. She seemed kinda off when she came home. I don’t know if there was a test today or..?” Mark shook his head sadly. “I noticed her acting odd this morning. I’ll go talk to her. You guys discuss pizza toppings and movie options, I’ll go check on my daughter.”

As he walked up the stairs, Mark ran through possibilities in his head. “Maybe she didn’t eat this morning because she was too nervous about something? Tests sometimes do that to a person, especially if they forgot to study. Maybe that’s it? Or, maybe she just wasn’t hungry? Maybe I’m overthinking this?”

He arrived at the door to (Y/n)’s bedroom and knocked. “Hey, sweetie, it’s me. Can I come in?” There was no reply. He tried again. “Are you okay in there?” Nothing. Now he was worried.

“(Y/n)? I’m coming in.”

Mark opened the door and was horrified by what he saw. There sat his daughter on her bed, without a hoodie on, and with large, dark bruises littering her arms which were on full display. (Y/n)’s eyes widened as she noticed him looking at her. She had earbuds in so she hadn’t heard him knock and she was treating her bruises before he had entered. Mark closed the door behind him and approached her.

“What happened?” 

He was so nervous and he noticed that she was shaking more and more with every step he took. Her breathing was becoming faster and faster and tears began to flow from her eyes, wiping away makeup which he hadn’t noticed was applied. When had she suddenly gotten such dark circles under her eyes, and was that a bruise? “I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” (Y/n) was whimpering and she began to hug herself, as if afraid I was going to hurt her. “Hey, hey it’s okay. You can tell me what’s going on. What happened? Who did this?”

(Y/n) wasn’t speaking and instead began to cry even harder. Mark’s heart nearly stopped. He prayed that she wasn’t doing any of this to herself. He had lost people this way before and he didn’t know what he would do if his own daughter was the next victim. He began questioning everything. “How long has this been going on? How did I never notice it? Is it because of me? Am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong?” 

All his questions quickly melted away as he heard the choked sobs of his daughter. “Too much.. Everyone.. They won’t stop.. They hurt me and then no one.. believes me when I complain. They think.. I’m just looking for attention. And the voices.. They’re so loud.” Mark managed to put the pieces together in his mind and his eyes widened.

“Are you being bullied?”

(Y/n) nodded and Mark held his daughter gently as she cried into his shoulder. He didn’t understand why she was being picked on. Why hadn’t he been told yet? Why was he only finding out now, when the damage was so heavy? He’d certainly be having a word with the principal about this. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.” 

“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” She started apologizing and he was quick to shush her. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Why didn’t you tell me this was going on? Do the teachers know?” She managed to choke out an “I didn’t want to be a burden, and they don’t care. They only care about their rich “Golden Children”.” Mark shook his head sadly. “You aren’t a burden. I don’t know who’s been telling you that, but it isn’t true. I care about you so much and you are such an amazing person, (Y/n).” 

He’s lying

“No.. you’re wrong. I’m fat, and stupid, and ugly, and just a burden to eveyone I’m around. I don’t deserve to be your daughter. You deserve someone better. You can stop pretending to care. I already know you don’t. You’re probably so disappointed in me.”

Mark was enraged at what he was hearing but kept his voice calm. “No, you’re wrong. If you’re thinking all that stuff then you don’t know anything. I love you so much. You are beautiful, and smart, and you make me so incredibly happy. No matter what anyone else, or those voices say, you can’t ever make me not love you. No matter what you do, I will always love you.” 

“But-”

“No no no. Listen to my voice. Focus on me, not on those demons. You are important. You are loved. You have a purpose. What other people think, it doesn’t matter because you have worth. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Love you for you because that’s what really matters. You are one of the most important people in my life and if I could get you to understand just how much you mean to me, I’d do everything in my power to prove it. I love you.”

“Dad..” (Y/n)’s voice trailed off as she rested in his arms, emotionally worn out. Mark rocked her side to side in a warm embrace, whispering soft nothing in her ear. When he pulled away, he noticed that she was beginning to smile. Mark could tell, it was real this time. It would take time for her to heal and recover, but it would be okay. He would be there for her every step of the way.

Just then, her stomach let out a loud rumble. He smirked as (Y/n) blushed in embarrassment. “You hungry? We’re thinking of ordering pizza.” She smiled and nodded, the sound of food making her empty stomach rumble again. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Mark gave her one last hug before helping her treat her bruises. (Y/n) pulled on a fresh hoodie and followed him downstairs. 

At the sight of her, Jack and Ethan smiled and waved, which surprised the young Fischbach. Everyone there was so happy and excited to see her and slowly but surely the voices began to get quieter and quieter until all that remained was the laughter and comfort that came from her father and their friends.

The movie night was fun. You and Jack argued together against the others about accepting pineapple as a pizza topping. Bob and Wade recalled stories about their college days and stupid stuff that happened recently, which made everyone laugh. They all had a pillow fight while waiting for the pizza to arrive, Mark and Ethan started a mini food fight with popcorn, much to Chica and Henry’s delight, and the pizza was eaten while everyone watched an older movie called “Return to Me”.

(Y/n) felt sleepy as she stared at the tv. She sat next to her dad who had his arm around his girlfriend, Amy. The voices, telling her she didn’t belong there returned, but this time, she rejected them. She knew the truth, and the negative words spewed nothing but lies. She knew that they would never completely go away, and the actions of those that hurt her could never be taken back, but she felt content knowing that even if people disliked or hated her, her father at least would be there to help her drown out her demons. 

As the movie neared its end, Mark felt a small pressure on his arm. Looking over, he smiled when he found his daughter fast asleep and resting against him. “Good night, (Y/n).. I love you so much.” He whispered, kissing her forehead gently and he could’ve sworn he saw a smile creep onto her face. Yeah.. everything would turn out alright.

------------------

If you are feeling suicidal there is help available to you.

Suicide Hotline Number: 988

Remember that you are appreciated and loved. Even if you don't think so, there will always be one person who cares about you, even if you don't know them. You are special and you have a purpose in life. Never give up on yourself, no matter what other people say


Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags