This Text Works Every Time

We cannot abandon trans people

Curate everything.

Curate your hygiene routine, curate your clothing items, curate your home, curate your habits, curate your nutrition, curate your environment, curate your circles, curate you socials, curate the content you consume, curate your social skills, curate your financial situation, curate your emotions, curate the version of you that shows up in public, curate your hobbies, curate your knowledge.

Being alive is such a privilege. You get to see things like this

i’m starting a collection

The documentary was shot almost entirely by Palestinian farmer Emad Burnat, who bought his first camera in 2005 to record the birth of his youngest son. The army raids the village in the middle of the night to arrest children. He, his friends, and brothers are arrested or shot; some are killed. Each camera used to document these events is shot or smashed.

queer belonging / put simply: we are not in this alone

[ true blue, boygenius / in memoriam by alice winn / ted lasso 3x09 / stranger things 4x09 / 4x01 / stone butch blues by leslie feinberg / derry girls 2x02 / schitt’s creek 5x11 ]

The true curse of the marvel movie is the glorification of the ironic and insincere

STOP MYTHOLOGIZING THE RICH ABEG!!!

This is still a great technique

“Now I’ll try to outline the 30-day test I want you to make. Keep in mind that you have nothing to lose by making this test and everything that you could possibly want, to gain.

I want you to write on a card what it is you want more than anything else. It may be more money. Perhaps you would like to double your income or make a specific amount of money. It may be a beautiful home. It may be success at your job. It may be a particular position in life. It could be a more harmonious family. Each of us want something.

Write down on your card, specifically, what it is that you want. Make sure it is a single goal and clearly defined. You need not show it to anyone, but carry it with you so that you can look at it several times a day.

Think about it in a cheerful, relaxed, positive way each morning when you get up and immediately you have something to work for, something to get out of bed for, something to live for. Look at it every chance you get during the day and just before going to bed at night. As you look at it, remember you must become what you think about and since you’re thinking about your goal, you realize that soon it will be yours. In fact, it’s yours, really, the moment you write it down and begin to think about it.

Look at the abundance all around you as you go about your daily business. You have as much right to this abundance as any other living creature. It’s yours for the asking.

Now we come to the difficult part. Difficult, because it means the formation of what is probably a brand new habit and new habits are not easily formed. Once formed however, it will follow you for the rest of your life.

Stop thinking about what it is you fear. Each time a fearful or negative thought comes into your consciousness, replace it with a mental picture of your positive and worthwhile goal. There will come times when you will feel like giving up. It’s easier for a human being to think negatively than positively, that’s why only 5 percent are successful. You must begin now to place yourself in that group.

For 30 days you must take control of your mind. It will think only about what you permit it to think. Each day, for this 30 day test, do more than you have to do. In addition to maintaining a cheerful positive outlook, give of yourself more than you’ve ever done before. Do this knowing that your returns in life must be in direct proportion to what you give.

The moment you decide on a goal to work towards you are immediately a successful person. You are then in that rare and successful category of people who know where they’re going. Out of every 100 people, you belong to the top five.”

Travelling to a Meet POT Checklist

Having travelled to numerous places to meet POTs, I have had a mental note of a little checklist that I always use. I am finally writing it down because I see that a lot of people are interested in travelling to meet their POTs, or sex workers/escorts interested in meeting with clients that are not from the same hometown and wish to travel. Travelling is a lot of fun but you must also be aware and stay safe. Here is a little check list that I have come up with that will help ensure more of your safety and comfort while travelling. Make sure you can honestly answer all these questions and fill it out fully before you travel anywhere!

Xoxo love J (IntlSugarBaby)

Checklist & Questions:

The Security:

1. Do I know his real name?

2. Do I know his business/work?

3. Do I have his real contact information?

4. Have I had a Skype conversation with him yet? (To verify pics are real)

5. Have I had a phone conversation with him yet? 

6. Have I researched him enough? (Is he on any criminal web pages, SB blacklist, anything in the news about him, etc.)

7. Did you give all this information to at least 2-3 trusted sources? (Give one to a friend that you trust in person, another one that is from the sugar bowl could be from tumblr, and etc. Make sure people have this information!)

8. Do I have security cash in case things go wrong? (Always make sure you have extra cash on you in case things go wrong. I would say maybe 200-500 extra on you. You never know)

9. Have I discussed intimacy with him? (Does he know that you will not be having sex on the first date you are down there? That you will not tolerate inappropriate behaviour?)

The Comfort:

1. Where am I travelling to? How long am I travelling to this area for? (I only recommend 2-3 days maximum for a first travel)

2. If I am travelling longer than 3 hours on a plane, am I getting first class? (You bet your ass you better be!)

3. Am I getting round trip flights? (Double check and call the airline to make sure it is valid! If you feel more comfortable booking yourself make sure you get all the money to book through PayPal for your trip!)

4. Am I getting my own hotel room? Is it booked with: Four Seasons, W Hotel, Trump Hotel, etc? (Non-negogiable. You must get your own hotel room. No ifs, ands, or buts. Call the front desk to guarantee it is booked and to make sure you have your own room. Make sure you are ALSO getting a nice hotel, not some cheap MOTEL!)

5. Have I discussed allowance and payments to come down? (Plane ticket and accommodation do NOT account for your time being spent down there. You must be paid for your time that you are with him. Usually for my 2-3 day rule I would ask anywhere between $1,000-3,000. It all depends for how many times you see him, how long you see him, etc.)

6. Have I discussed a “free-time” with him? (You need a break from him. You need your own time. Within each day you are down there say you need this which can be used to explore, have your own spa day, etc. You are NOT required to be with them at every moment!)

7. Do I have arrangements that a car is picking me up from my house/friends house/local area to the airport and back from the airport? As well as soon as I land in the designated town that I am being picked up by a car and drove straight to the hotel? (Never hop in a car with him straight from the airport. Make sure you go straight to your hotel from a limo/taxi car paid for by him you should not be wasting a dime on anything down there. If you need transportation to the airport from your hometown make that known to him!)

8. Have I discussed when I will be getting my payment? (I always ask for it as soon as I meet up with him in an envelope. This allows you that if no matter if there isn’t a connection there you still get paid! Do not accept payment after your date through paypal or any other way, or cheques. Always make sure it is in cold, hard, cash and in an envelope first meeting. No excuses) 

9. What is the itinerary once I get there? (Make sure you know a list of exactly what you are doing. Are you going to a broadway show? The casino? A dinner? Where is the locations + addresses? Make sure to always keep checking in with your “safety” sisters aka friends! Also plan! If you are going to LA and want to go to Hollywood tell your POT. Remember this is a little trip for you so enjoy it!)

What to pack in my suitcase:

1. Always bring a carry on or a large purse. It is a lot quicker to go through the airport without having to check any bags. Remember to always pack light as well because you definitely will be shopping down there!

2. Bring 1 casual outfit. This is for site-seeing, going out and exploring. Something you feel comfortable in (shoe wise) and can walk around for extended periods of time. I would suggest a pair of jeans cute sandals or flats and a super cute top. Accessorize to make yourself look better - nice purse, sunglasses, bracelets/watch etc.

3. Bring 2 nice dinner outfits. I usually am super indecisive when it comes to dinner outfits. I usually bring two really nice ones! One will be a tight dress medium-short length, and another a more longer dress that is classier. Once you arrive in the city you will know what fits in more there and what is easier and more comfortable to wear. Bring your best heels: Louboutins! And of course accessories.

4. Bring 1 Sleeping wear. Usually a comfy top and bottom, or if you are feeling more risqué bring a sexy night gown or something. Remember you have your own hotel room and intimacy is not expected on your first trip down there. This is purely for your comfort!

5. All your sleepover gear stuff. Toothbrush, small lube of toothpaste, make up remover wipes, hair and bobby pins, hair ties, deodorant, a super mini body spray (check your airlines for maximum you can bring).

6. Your make up and accessories. Bring your most used make up such as: Foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, a couple of brushes, eyebrow pencil and lip gloss. You can bring bronzer and blush as well but remember don’t bring your entire make up kit! Some stuff might get lost… bring stuff you DEFINITELY would use! As for accessories: sunglasses, a statement watch or bracelet, and ring possibly. Keep it minimum, stick to statement pieces! Don’t want to loose anything!

7. Bring 1 Bathing Suit. You know maybe you want to take a dip in the pool, go to the sauna, or head to the beach on your time off. Who knows, always great to have a bathing suit packed just in case - you never know!

8. Extra feminine supplies. Just in case you get your period on the trip, you never know! Also bring extra gravol, or advil that you potentially could need trying different foods, or just not feeling well on the trip. 

9. Pack anything else you think is necessary! Remember, pack light and research what the weather is going to be like when you get down there. Is it going to be warm? Rainy? Cloudy? Check all the weather and make sure you know and pack accordingly!

Plane Checklist:

1. Bring head phones, ipod (if you don’t have an iphone), phone charger, lip gloss, little compact mirror, passport, wallet with extra cash in it, your drivers license (if you are over age of 19 in Canada you can drink there, or over 21 in States! That way you don’t have to bring your passport along with you), a magazine, and little snack to enjoy. This is usually in my hand bag/purse that I also carry on the plane. It is your plane survival and extra time alone survival kit!

2. Get your boarding passes in order, text your POT that you arrived at the airport and just wait to board the flight!

Enjoy your trips meeting your POTs! Remember to have a great time and go through the check list. If they are hesitant about any parts of it or can’t answer and try to negotiate around some of the things… these are viewed as red flags. Immediately drop them. A POT will ALWAYS want your safety and comfort to come first. If he speaks of sex in the hotel, or anything that you are not comfortable with you immediately lay down the line saying that it won’t be tolerated. Make sure to stand up for your values and comfort. The worst thing these men can say is NO which is not a big deal at all. There is a million other guys to replace them. They are indeed replaceable.

Have an amazing trip to where ever you travel to. Remember to stay safe! Safety is a number one priority! Wishing all the hustlers the best of luck.

Xoxo love Mama J