Hey handsome. How’s your day going? Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you. Your smile, your face, other…things😏. Have a fantastic day.
How to have a conversation about a topic you’re not interested in or don’t know anything about:
Listen to what the other person has to say about the topic.
Ask a question about what they said. Asking them to clarify or explain something you don’t understand is great, but any question will do. All else fails, ask them to explain what they like about some part of the topic.
Listen to their responses and go back to step 2.
Do this until 5-15 minutes has passed, then change the subject to a topic of your interest, unless you are actually interested in learning more on this subject, in which case, go on for as long as you like.
Sometimes, they will say something like “I’m sorry to blather on about [topic].” This is an attempt at a conversational dismount. You can either say “no, it was fascinating, thanks” and then bring up your own topic, or you can say “no, it’s fascinating, please keep going” if you want to keep hearing about their topic. Note the tense difference (past -> moving on, present -> keep going).
I just thought I’d write a script for this, because someone who can’t / won’t do this came up in a Captain Awkward column, and listening about topics you have no interest in is a really useful skill to have and not often explicitly taught, particularly to boys and men.
As a possible psych major, I thought I’d pass on these concepts I learned last year in class that are important for any sugar baby to know about. These are tips and concepts that will allow you to persuade a POT or SD into giving you what you want.
Foot in the Door- ask for something small; when they give it to you, then ask for something bigger. They have already said yes to you, and are therefore more likely to continue to say yes to you. Use this when out shopping, or when asking for an allowance raise. EX. Ask to go to one store for something you “need.” While your there and their buying you that thing, pick out other stuff too. Again, they are less likely to refuse you because they already agreed to buying the first item. The suggest popping into another store “while we’re out.” Same concept with allowance. Say something along the lines of “the allowance you’re giving me is already so generous, but another $1,000 would really help me out”
Door in the Face- make big request, when they refuse, ask for something smaller. It will seem reasonable in comparison, and they will be more likely to say yes. When asking for an allowance, ask fore more than you really want. Best case scenario, they agree to it. But if they don’t, when you then ask for your REAL desired allowance, it will seem like a bargain in comparison, and they are more likely to agree to it.
Other tips
Repeated exposure to something makes it more appealing. Seeing your POT a few times before agreeing to an allowance may be in your best interest.
Agreement and praise make you more convincing. During your date, compliment your POT and agree with what he says, even if you don’t really agree. This makes him easier to persuade.
On that note, people with low self esteem are more prone to social pressure. If you think your POT has low self esteem, praising him makes him more likely to do what you want.
Context is important. Pleasant surroundings make people more agreeable. Have the allowance talk in a nice place when your POT is in a good mood, it will work in your favor.
Hi Lovelies, So here’s todays wisdom about how to better engage with your SD. So I am personally not sexual with my SDs - especially not right away - so I compiled a list of my tips that are ABSOLUTE must-dos to keep your SD interested. Even if you are sexual with your SDs, incorporating these will help advance your relationship with him:
1. Go For The First Meet Hug
The first time you meet a POT, go for a hug. So this feels quite unnatural for me, so kudos if you would do this anyways. *Red Flag if he immediately becomes sexual/gropey during the hug.* This is better than a handshake and shows that you at least have interest in being near/around him.
2. Casual Shoulder Brush
When you walk past your SD, either on your way to the ladies room, or past him on the couch, brush his shoulders with your hands. Stroke from one side to the other as you pass, lingering your fingers right before you let go. It’ll drive him crazy as it indicates you’re “holding onto him, even as you leave.”
3. Reunite With Your Hands
Again, when you return to your SD, you can do the shoulder brush again on your way back. But what I specifically do, is I reach out to squeeze his hand when I return. Or if I’m sitting next to him at a show/concert, I’ll rub my hand/shoulder against his upper arm. It’s a quick “hello again!” gesture that SDs typically love.
4. Hold His Hand
Holding his hand is a simple intimate thing you can do with him. Even if you’re discreet, you can just do it in private (car, under table, etc). It’s a simple level of intimacy that is reassuring to him - a type of support he likely isn’t getting from anyone else. Idk, SDs just really like holding hands in my experience ☺️
5. Let Him Touch Your Leg
Whether you’re next to him in the car or holding hands under the table at a bar, I sometimes bring his hands to my thigh. It’s really comforting (and sexy!) to the SD because it’s a pretty intimate gesture. If they go for the thigh hold on their own (and you deem it appropriate!) I sometimes put my hand on top of theirs and squeeze it in a way that reassures “I like their hand on my thigh” (lol I don’t tho 😜🙄😝)
6. Casually Lightly Brush His Skin
So this is overall generic, but men are driven CRAZY by slight and casual touching. Crazy in a good way 😘 I’ll brush my hand past theirs if we are sharing popcorn at a movie. I’ll slightly brush past them with my arm if we are in a tightly cramped hallway and I need to get through. I will casually brush my foot against his leg under the table at a date. I’m telling you, casual contact is intoxicating for men ESPECIALLY SDs.
Like I said, casual touching that’s not sexual is really enticing for men. Whether or not you get sexual with your SD, it’s a way to convey you like them enough to not mind being touched - think about it, you wouldn’t do that with a stranger, right? It also gives them a different type of intimate connection that they probably definitely don’t receive anywhere else.
Happy Sugaring,
SSL