Yayaya I Finally Finished It!

Aziraphale: *being threatened by n@zis*

Aziraphale: "Well thats not very sporting.

Aziraphale: *gets betrayed by Rose Montgomery*

Aziraphale: "You can't kill me! There'll be paperwork!"

Crowley: *not so saunters in*

Crowley: "Sorry, consecrated ground."

Crowley: *dances on her feet while he saves Aziraphale*

@neil-gaiman

Dumbledore: It has come to my attention that inappropriate actions took place at a party a few nights ago.

The Great Hall: *intense flashbacks to the party four nights ago, where Remus sold joints to everyone, Lily drank half a bottle of vodka and could still walk straight, Mary danced until she somehow lost all her clothes, Marlene and Dorcas glared and growled at each other the entire party until they disappeared upstairs, James kissed Regulus in front of everyone and they also disappeared upstairs, Snape called Regulus a slur so Barty blew Evan in the middle of the room, Sirius ripped his shirt and his pants to leave him irresistibly exposed, Peter and Amelia sat in the corner playing chess and only got tipsy, Edgar and Emmeline started a game of strip-poker which left everyone in their underwear and a few people naked, and Pandora and Xenophilius stayed sober the whole time, took photos of everyone, and made sure everyone got to bed safely*

Dumbledore: Does anyone know anything about this?

The Great Hall, in perfect unison: No.

Reblog and put in the tags how you would die if your URL predicted your death

Kicking him down the stairs for every repost 😁

Hey so after watching six episodes of The Handmaid's Tale I have come to the conclusion that we are approximately two steps left from it happening.

Look, the show practically gives a step by step guide. Look at the American election results, and the way Canadian politics are leaning. We're getting there.

So, heres what you're going to do:

Stash some cash: If you have extra funds, withdraw some. Stash it somewhere you would think to look that other people would not. Useful in all kinds of emergency situations.

Update your paperwork: My passport is expired, I should update that. In my case, I'm a dual citizen so I could get out of dodge fast if I needed to. Keep it somewhere safe with the cash. We're talking passports, birth certificates social security numbers, etc.

Keep physical copies: This is the digital age, but guard physical copies of what you do have closely. I have lots of cds and a cd player, pictures of me and my partner, books. Burning books is already a thing, I highly recommend purchasing books straight off of banned book lists.

Read up on your herbs: Its not witchy voodoo shit if it works. Theres simple stuff, mint tea for nausea, raspberry leaf for cramps, mugwort for you know what. Be careful, I am not saying this is safe, but it may be necessary. Also everybody likes a good cup of tea.

Bug out bag: For if you're really committed. This is a bag for survival situations, or if you have less than two minutes to leave your house. Read about it online. It should have everything you need (clothes, toiletries, food, medication) if you need to leave with what you can fit on your back.

Write: Keep written record about anything you don't want to forget. Journal entries, song lyrics, recipes, whatever. It does not matter, notebooks are something you can throw under one arm and go.

Powerful men are not your friends, religious leaders are not your friends, that acquaintance with questionable world views is not your friend. Create a close network of people you trust with your life. I'm not joking.

I am aware I sound cuckoo bananas to some of you and thats fine. I sound cuckoo bananas to myself. Women are losing agency, queer people are losing their lives, disabled people are being forced further and further under the poverty line. I check all three of the boxes above, this is reality.

If you have to pick one or two, pick Stash some cash and Update your paperwork.

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

Barty: From now on we'll be using code names! I'll be "eagle 1"

Barty: *points to Regulus* Reggie is "been there done that"

Regulus: 😑

James: hey now-

Barty: *points to Evan* Evan is "currently doing that"

Evan: *smirks and highfives Barty*

Barty: *points to Remus* Remus is "happened once in a dream"

Remus: *lifts an eyebrow*

Sirius: *offended gasp*

Barty: *points to Dorcas* Cas is "if I had to pick a girl"

Dorcas: *snorts* in your dreams Crouch

Barty: And Dora is

Pandora:

Evan:

Dorcas:

Regulus:

Barty: "eagle 2"

Evan and Pandora: oh thank god

my least favorite marauders headcannon:

peter betrays them and everyone dies

What am I supposed to do without Ao3. Right in the middle of a fic I'm actually gonna cry rn

reblog this if you want a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what they think of you.

pleaaase?