Bad: "How Many People Did Pili Kill...7, So For One Life Of Pili, We Need To Take Out 6 Lives To Balance

platonic bartylus is them making out in the slytherin common room when everyone is asleep, regulus helping barty put his tie on just for barty to mess it up again for the aesthetic, studying in the library and barty trapping regulus’ foot between his, taking every single elective together, being unbearably in love with each other, sneaking sweets in their robes to eat when they can’t sleep at night and they crawl into bed together whispering so they don’t wake the others

he was just a hungry little boy :")

Barty was moping.

Again, he knows- him and Regulus had gotten into an argument again, and he knew he’d lost, but he liked the thrill of arguing- and he’d said some things he really shouldn’t have… but maybe Regulus would see how sorry he was by the way he was being so mope-y. Yeah, maybe- he was curled up in his four-poster, moodily skimming through his potions book- how does that not scream “I’m sorry please come back and love me so I don’t think you hate me”?

Regulus, on the other hand, was- rather haughtily, in Barty’s opinion- ignoring Barty, and playing wizard’s chess with Evan on the other side of the room. Barty gave a dramatic sigh… still nothing. Damn it. He was being so obvious about it, why wouldn’t Reg just forgive him already?

Barty had basically already apologized, with how much of a show he was giving about it- but clearly, Regulus wanted a real one. Damn him, making Barty do all the work.

“Castle to E5,” Regulus had been saying, just as Barty flopped down onto the ground behind him, shoving himself up against the Black’s back, his cheek smushed against in the back of his sweater. Barty’s sweater.

“I’m sorry.” He finally mumbled, rather pitifully.

Barty couldn’t see it, but he could definitely sense the smirk he just knew was plastered on Regulus’ face right about now.

“Sorry, Crouch, what was that? Couldn’t quite hear you.”

“I said, I’m Sorry.”

“For?”

Barty just huffed, going quiet for a moment. His fingers lightly traced Regulus’ spine through his clothes, from his neck to his tailbone, and back up.

“I’m sorry Regulus for saying you’re a teacher’s-pet…”

Barty finally muttered, poking the middle of Regulus’ back, just to punctuate.

Regulus was surely grinning by now, he loved it when-

“Even if you really are.”

Barty really shouldn’t have tacked that last bit on, as he quickly found himself flattened on the ground, because Regulus had decided to forcibly lean back, right on top of him.

“Bitch.”

“Twat.”

“…love you.”

“Love you too, Barty.”

Evan took that moment to finally butt in, cooing,

“Aww, you guys are so swee-“

It was safe to say that Evan didn’t get to finish his sentence, and there was ‘magically’ one pawn now across the room.

Evan who’s been told his whole life ‘Regulus is a good girl, and a Black at that. I’m sure if you behave you’ll be able to have her hand when you’re of age,’ and that kept him going and loyal for so long just because the idea of being able to marry his friend who actually understood him and being able to protect them both by their pact signed with rings over having them be forced to marry other, lesser nobles and being separated forever just gave him hope like nothing else. And it could happen, it really could, if they were both good and played their parts they could be together forever!

But then Sirius had to fuck everything up for both of them. He couldn’t stand to ruin just his own life, he had to drag regulus down with him. Now regulus will be forced to marry someone of higher stature than the Rosier’s no matter what, the most traditional and most accomplished pureblood they can find, to breed with as fast as possible just to create better heirs and have someone fit to take the seat Sirius left behind because a girl like regulus can’t.

Evan who has a very personal and visceral hatred for Sirius Black because the life he had planned for himself and Regulus was completely ruined only by his hands. They could have made it. They were so close to making it. If Sirius could have understood responsibility and kept his fucking duties in check like everyone else Evan could have married the love of his life and pleased their families in one go.

Evan choosing to assert his power and name to his and Regulus’ parents by getting the dark mark is Sirius’ fault. Regulus following behind despite Evan telling him to stay back is Sirius’ fault. Everything. Is Sirius’ fault. Evan will never stop being angry, Evan will never forgive him.

bartylus who are broken up, but God forbid anyone tries to flirt with barty

half asleep regulus whining and calling barty baby so he stays in bed with him (he get's cold when barty isn't there)

I’m what would happen if regulus black and evan rosier mixed their blood and cum together and put it inside of barty crouch jr

I snorted ….. (gonna cry lol)

Today’s laugh brought to you by best boy Logan. (Again)

#SHES SO STRONG NOW IM SO PROUD 😭😭😭

A friendly reminder that THIS is the Lucy Heartfilia we get to see animated

Barty: Chill bro, he's dating both of us. You're my boyfriend in law.

James: whAT