Thought I Was Clicking On A Shitpost But It Was A Temu Ad FUCK

Pangur doesnt like me going into rooms by myself

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

thinking long and hard abt doing things is not the same as doing them ive found. which is really horrible for me

i talk my shit but do you guys remember being 12 and in 2008 and you heard viva la vida by coldplay for the first time and you were like fuck this is so powerful. i'm going to kick the ass of god

*bass drop* w-w-w-whats good lactation nation its your girl dj cowtits bringing you the sloshiest beats

literally drinking a beer by the lake and still opened tumblr. some of us are beyond saving

my favorite historical thing about actual pirates is most of them were really young guys who died between the ages of 17 and 24 so one of the reasons blackbeard is so famous three hundred years later is because he was, like, thirty-two and still kicking which made him seem really wise and shit-together by comparison. it's like when you're a 28 year old woman and get tumblr asks from college freshman that say "oh my god you don't look like a withered corpse at all"

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

Her pussy so wet it washed away my sins