Latest Posts by australopithecunt - Page 5

jesus x fem!cross (#girlcross) 24k, bondage, blood kink, cross-fandom, royalty au, king x torture device, personification, christianity, nailing, enemies to lovers

Omg my favorite bird blog knows ab warriors cats, the crossover I didnt know I needed

ASHFUR IS BACK??????? HUH?????? (unless theyve added a new cat incel)

yeah :(

This is a very specific vague.

It’s always “why did you go out in the storm” and “your soaking wet” and never How was the storm The storm looked fun was it fun

u want shitpost? here is shitpost

My gay historian ass remembering valentines day is just a commercialized evolution of lupercalia bc the Roman's executed two guys with the name valentine on Feb 14th in separate years, and that it can literally be anything you want bc modern valentines day in itself is a reimagining of a reimagining of a brutal fertility festival.

People will say they hate valentine's day bc "it's too commercialized" but say halloween is their favorite holiday w the same breath. It's the color pink all over again 😑

i’m so fucking mad bc half the “good among us owners” don’t even have fucking spaceships for their among us and if they do they’re not ventilated properly, they have no imposters because they want to “keep their mongus safe” like okay they’d be safer in the wild but whatever

Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence

Asmo: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or manwhore our way out of it this time

Satan: Manslaughter it is

Some of my favorite Halloween Kills (2021) reviews

Bonus:

"why does michael myers kill? why is he like that?" well for starters he’s from illinois

michael myers in almost every halloween movie:

everyone shut up theyre having a conference call

Behind the Monsters opening sequence

One of my students referred to Zac Efron as "zaddy" and I feel like I should be entitled to financial compensation

dont worry it goes back like memory foam

bonus:

how have we not killed this website yet

Finally finished the set! This took a crazy long time to complete, but I’m happy with the result

purchased a sans undertale plush for my classroom and i've been torturing my students by pretending i don't know who he is

this is the biggest damn 10yo i’ve ever seen. the hell are they putting in school lunches nowadays.

happy Thursday the 20th

Proper grammar? In this economy????

“Thanks Hank you really taught me a lot about propane and propane accessories!”

"And I tell you hwat, young man. I don't think I know hwat a 'heart of the cards' is, but I know for certain you've got the heart of a Texan."