“Dearest. Darling. Sweetheart,” The Protagonist Flatly Recited The List Of Endearments The Antagonist

Humorous/Weird/Suggestive Writing Prompts

1) “Hey do you kn-AH! WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!” “WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?”

2) “Don’t look at me when you eat that banana. You know what that does to me.”

3) “Must you make eye contact with me while deep throating a popsicle?”

4) “Can you not moan while devouring your ice cream sundae? I’m trying to watch tv.”

5) “I’m 99.9% sure seahorses are fake.”

6) “Can fish drown?”

7) “I’m not saying I’d lick that body like an ice cream cone buuuut…”

8) “Do my lips taste like Doritos?”

9) “I don’t know who thought of eating Cheetos with chopsticks, but they’re either a genius or a coward.”

10) “Don’t go in-aaand you found my doll collection.”

11) “Damn! Mona Lisa ain’t got nothin’ on you!”

12) “So…this fruit actually came from a dragon?” (dragon fruit)

13) “My zipper got caught on my underwear and she/he/they were just helping me out!”

14) “I hear sex is the best kind of exercise.” “Both of your arms are broken. I don’t know how that’s gonna work out.”

15) “I swear, if you draw a penis on my cast, you won’t see the light of day again!”

16) “Why are you on the floor moping?” “I wasted a bowl of cereal because I didn’t know the milk went bad.”

17) “Babe, as much as I love cuddling you, I’m sick

18) “Sunglasses and a hat isn’t a disguise!”

19) “You’re the pineapple to my pizza.” “…I think we need to break up.”

20) “YOU DON’T NEED MORE BATHBOMBS! YOU ALREADY BOUGHT $200 WORTH OF THEM!”

21) “Are you really quoting that movie/show while we’re getting attacked?!”

22) “I wrote you a poem and, honestly, it’s so romantic. I just might date myself.”

23) “I can’t believe you were stupid enough to get stuck in a child’s swingset.”

24) “Um…who’s cat/dog is that?” “Wait…this isn’t yours?”

25) “I can’t believe you were about to throw down some 8 year old kid.” “They took the last bag of potato chips! What do you expect me to do?”

26) “Watermelon pizza looks absolutely disgusting…let’s try it.”

27) [wearing a viking helmet] “Hey, babe. Look! I’m a bit horny.”

28) “I shouldn’t find Jesus Christ’s adoptive father attractive, but I do.”

29) “We’re at a theme park and you wanna have a quickie?! Seriously?!”

30) “I swear to God if you don’t give me that back right now, I will guarantee that your great, great, great-grandchildren will suffer by my hand.” “..You scare me.”

“For you, I’d throw it all away. My morals, my goals, my life. I would. Please don’t ask me too.”

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Winnie the Pooh

❤️

Oh, in that case BTW, can we have some anxious first kiss prompts?

“What if I’m so terrible, you’ll never want to kiss me again?”

“Whatever happens, don’t make fun of me.”

“I barely even know what to do.”

“So, uh, who moves first? I should probably close my eyes, too.” 

prompt: road trip!

“Can someone open the window? It’s too warm in here.”

“All around me are familiar corn stalks, worn out corn stalks-”

“I hate driving towards the sun and I have to squint for an hour.”

“Get your feet back over to your side or so help me, I do it for you.”

“Did I ever get a chance to say I’m proud of you?”

“Do you even want me around? ‘Cause you certainly don’t act like it.”

“Us misfits have to stick together or we’d have no one.”

“I shouldn’t be allowed to do anything when I’m this tired.”

“Look, you’re super clumsy and having you around this highly flammable project is like asking for trouble.”

“Bribing me with your cooking works every single time.”

“There’s something seriously wrong here. I mean, who the fuck wears high heels on a heist.”

“Nobody asked for your opinion, [X]. Don’t hate me just cause your weak ass ankles won’t let you be fancy.”

Prompt #731

“What is that thing?”

“A child.”

“Why is it… Excreting…”

“Those are tears dumbass.”

Hi there! I was wondering if you had anything for childhood best friends who grow up and realize they're in love? I've been looking everywhere but nothing has really tickled my fancy! Thanks so much!

Themed Prompts: Childhood Best Friends Realize They are in Love

1. They haven’t seen each other for an extended period of time and seeing each other again, sparks fly.

2. They go through old pictures, all nostalgic, and realization comes.

3. One of them starts seeing someone else. Cue jealousy.

4. Everyone assumes they are a couple already. 

5. One of them is trying to find a relationship for the other and in the process realizes they are perfect for each other.

6. Fake dating! (This is my all-time favorite trope.)

7. They decide to get married because convenience.

8. Someone asks one of them to list the good things about the other.

9. They are separated for some time and just exchange letters/calls and it’s like getting to know each other all over again.

10. They are playing lovers in a play/movie.

11. They move in together and that changes their dynamic.

12. Truth or Dare. Spin the Bottle. 7 Minutes in Heaven… You know what I’m getting at.

13. They are forced to take care of an animal or a child together.

14. Magical means reveal what they mean to each other.

15. Kissing practice.