When People Debate Who The Most Fucked Up Member Of The Bats Is, They Either Pick Bruce Or Jason. Rightfully

honestly the more i think about Hal as an often homeless, broke, frequently unemployed, felon who’s constantly five bad days away from a mental breakdown the less funny jokes about him being constantly belittled and bullied by the multi billionaire personally funding the justice league really are.

I think Oliver Queen would find out Batman's secret identity mostly through vibes...

When he was ten, his parents tried to get him to strike up a friendship with Bruce Wayne because it can’t ever hurt to know the richest man in the country but Bruce is just so fucking weird and morbid. He drags Ollie into his room and starts showing him his anatomy books and taxidermy and has he seen Taxi Driver? Because Travis Bickle inspired a real attempted assassination. But also maybe he had a point? And then Bruce is taking down his books on the Zodiac Killer and explaining how he thinks he’s cracked the cipher. And Ollie is just scared out of his mind. He thinks Bruce is going to vivisect him or something.

At the end of the night, he tells his parents that he spent the whole time with Bruce but he was actually hiding under a table somewhere for like two hours.

Then after that he tries to avoid Bruce at all times. Which isn’t hard because they’re ten and they live on opposite sides of the country. Until Oliver gets an invitation to Bruce Wayne’s 18th birthday party which is supposed to be a very big, very expensive bash. He doesn’t want to go because it might turn out to be weird but all his friends are going so he goes anyway.

… And it turns about to be pretty cool. (It’s a very big, expensive party with a lot of really drunk, really rich teenagers but it’s cool by Oliver’s standards) But no one actually seems to see Bruce there. He doesn’t make a speech, they don’t get him a cake or sing happy birthday, he doesn’t take over for the DJ, nothing. There are no pictures of him anywhere. Nobody gets any pictures of him. No one says they saw him. It’s like he wasn’t even there. 

But everyone insists that Oliver must be wrong. Who would throw a party and then never show up? Creepy Bruce Wayne, that’s who.

For the next several years, Bruce is supposedly out of the country doing an indulgent world tour. Hotels get booked out for him but they can’t say if he actually check in. People claim to have seen him but they don’t have any proof. It’s always so-and-so told so-and-so that they saw him here. He’s kind of like this fun cryptid. The richest man in the world is somewhere in the world. The late night shows do a spoof of Carmen Sandiego about it.

But every year, Bruce supposedly shows up to his birthday bash except Oliver goes every year and never sees him. There’s photos that circulate around but Oliver’s met Bruce and these are just some random other dark haired guys. He puts together that every year the crowd unknowingly selects some random dude to be that year’s Bruce Wayne, sometimes there’s two or three or four.

One year Oliver even dyes his hair and he gets to be Bruce Wayne for the day. 

It’s fun. But the real Bruce? He’s up to something. 

When Oliver comes back from his sojourn on an island and is deciding to clean up his act and maybe start dressing up in green and shooting people with arrows, he finds out that Bruce is back in Gotham. He’s gone from a guy who nobody knew what he looked like to one of the most recognizable faces.

Every week the gossip rags have a new crazy Bruce Wayne headline. 

“Bruce Wayne accidentally schedules two dates with two models at the same time, at the same restaurant. Models proceed to fight over him and wreck the restaurant, forcing Wayne to buy it.” There’s a viral video and everything. Except it’s not hard for Oliver to find out that the “models” are actually amateaur professional wrestlers.

“Bruce Wayne trips and knocks ice sculpture onto newly elected Gotham mayor.” Nobody bothers to mention that getting absolutely clobbered by an ice sculpture is what saved the mayor from being shot by a political rival.

“Bruce Wayne lets child ward drive his car. Kid accidentally puts car in reverse instead of drive and backs into and wrecks Lex Luthor’s custom McLaren.” That one just seems intentional. The kid even looks behind him as he’s backing up.

Sure people change over the course of 18 years, Oliver has certainly changed but he just can’t square this absolute buffoon with the kid who bragged about how he was already studying calculus. And it’s just so calculated. Just like the parties, it’s like a facade of being a rich playboy, not the real thing. Oliver knows the real thing. He’s been the real thing.

Then he walks into a meeting of the new, as yet unnamed, coalition of heroes and meets Batman for the first time. The familiar wave of hibbie-jibbies runs up his spine but he’s not a kid anymore so he just smirks.

“So do you still think Travis Bickle was kind of right?”

The Babs and Steph Oracle and Batgirl era was so fascinating in a way like you are in college, your mom is finally doing well and your relationship with her is improving. Then your best friend/situationship dumps Batgirl in your lap and leaves the country. You're not happy with this. Her own mom figure is not happy with this. She ends up mentoring you anyways. You actually start to form a bond. One of the smartest people in the world is now helping you fight crime and probably giving college advice too. You went from the most horrific high school experience possible including torture and literal death to having two adults you can actually sort of trust to have your back and a relatively happy daily life as a vigilante. And it only happened once you reached adulthood yourself. Never when you needed it most as a vulnerable child/teen without a single solid parental figure to rely on.

Like its wonderful that Steph got all that. She deserved it. But you can't tell me there wasn't a part of her that looked at Crystal and Babs sometimes and wondered: Why not sooner? Why did every adult in her life let her down back when she was actually a child and their responsibility? Is it the fact that Bruce is dead? That Cass is gone and both Steph and Babs are trying to fill that space in their lives? Why did it fucking take so long for anyone to notice that this kid needed help she wasn't getting, to the point she isn't even a kid anymore when it finally arrives?

The Batkids play a game called “Guess Who Bruce Is Disappointed In Today” and it is a bloodsport.

It started as a joke. It is no longer a joke.

Every morning, without fail, one of them walks into the kitchen and says:

“Guess who Bruce is disappointed in today?”

And they all take turns guessing based on crime alerts, nightly patrol rotations, and vibes.

It’s become a system.

It went like:

Jason: “I knocked out a senator by accident. My odds are high.”

Tim: “I drank seventeen Red Bulls and fell asleep on top of the Batcomputer.”

Damian: “I released three bats into Gotham General Hospital as enrichment. They were bored.”

Steph: “I called him ‘Brucie’ in front of a senator.”

Cass: Just raises a finger and shrugs.

Then Bruce walks in, dead silent, pours his coffee, looks at no one, and walks away.

Tim: “It’s Jason.”

Jason: “DAMN IT.

Rules:

If you guess wrong, you have to do patrol with Damian and listen to him rant about the superiority of traditional swordsmanship for two hours.

If you guess right, you get to choose the movie on family movie night.

If Bruce is disappointed in himself, everyone gets ice cream. That’s the law.

It got so serious they made a whiteboard. Labeled it: “DISAPPOINTMENT LEADERBOARD.”

Top scores:

Tim (17 correct guesses, possible mind reader)

Cass (14, reads vibes better than Google Translate reads Latin)

Steph (11, mostly via chaos intuition)

Jason (2. constantly thinks it’s him. It often is. But not always.)

Damian (0. refuses to acknowledge he is ever the cause)

One time Dick guessed correctly for the first time in 3 months and everyone clapped.

He cried.

Alt. Version: Guess Who Bruce Is Proud Of Today.

Game cancelled due to lack of data.

today on "absolutely unhinged things for stover to put on paper and lucas to approve," the depiction of obi-wan's self-aware attachment to anakin here, how ready he'd be to kill yoda for the greater good, and how he'd let yoda kill him too, but anakin is the exception to their entire order and to obi-wan's moral judgment.

all three of them here, arguably the three most important jedi in the galaxy, they all know with wariness that anakin, the chosen one, has failed to grasp the central tenet of their code, and they don't know what to do about it. obi-wan thinks he failed him, failed to teach him; he knows anakin failed to learn, failed to accept it, how he'd would never let a friend go.

obi-wan here offers keen, intimate analysis of anakin's inner workings, shining a light on who darth vader really is in his heart, his loyalty beyond any moral or ethical bounds. obi-wan is painfully aware of how he is complicit in fostering this inappropriate attachment, only encouraging anakin's behavior. we see why he apologized in the kenobi show, how he was already sorry.

tbh this page changed me—my understanding of the characters, and my appreciation of the entire tragedy, like.. look how anakin has compromised obi-wan, and look at how much obi-wan loves him anyway. look at how the heart of this incipient monster is described with tender, ruthless clarity by the one who knows it best... on the next page obi-wan's literally crying about what they've done... i'm astrally projecting into the sun

Helena Bertinelli, orphan and CSA survivor, protecting the kids of Gotham city in her work as a teacher, in her home an adoptive parent and in her vigilante life as huntress, I need a minute-

'Cause I'm stuck with your stories

Saddest DC members in my opinion with no explanation and there will be people missing because I haven’t read that many comics;

Cassandra Cain. Hal Jordan. John Constantine. Helena Bertinelli. Kara Zor El. Oliver Queen.

Will probably add more to this and please comment your thoughts.

Cass knows because of body language but thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and is NOT a snitch.

AU where Jason gets over his theatre-kid need for dramatics and heat never reveals his identity to the batfam. In fact, he HIDES his identity so well that no one ever finds it out. It’s been years since Red Hood popped up and at this point he’s an unofficial vigilante with crime lord tendencies than anything else

then people start getting suspect . . . But not the right thing

Red hood: *sitting, legs crossed, on a roof ledge* scare me and make me drop my book and l don’t care if you helped me with Penguin last night, I’ll throw you off this roof and I won’t give a shit Nightwing: *slowly jacks away* um. What book? Red hood: pride and prejudice. Nightwing: pride and . . . You know, my brother liked that book. Red hood: I know he did Nightwing:

Damian: *feeling uncertain with his title as Robin* Red Hood: you know, a wise kid once said Robin is magic Batman: *eyes narrow* what kid? Red Hood: eh, just someone I used to know Batman:

Spoiler: so why did ya decide to protect the alley? Red Hood: I lived there as a kid. I . . . Uh, it just means a lot to me. Spoiler: *frowning* I assumed you’d lived there. Red Hood: yeah it um . . . *thinking of Bruce* I met someone important there. He changed my life. And when . . . I, uh, lost him, I decided to clean it up. Spoiler:

Later, in the bat cave:

Spoiler: so Red Hood . . . Batman: *gravely* dated Jason. Nightwing: but he was only fifteen! Robin: *crossing his arms* people date at fifteen, Richard. Red Robin: . . . The crime lord dated the second Robin. Batman: I’m going to kill him. Nightwing: wait, no! You can’t! Jason wouldn’t have wanted it! Black Bat: he’s family. Spoiler: *jazz hands* NEW BROTHER

Red Hood: *listening in through their comms* what the fuck

Bruce and Oliver except they don't have the Sun & Moon dynamic, they have a Sun and it's Shadow one.

The Sun who is always shining, who brings people into it's orbit but always keeps them at a distance. the Sun who, for better or worse, is a burning mass of energy that most will only see as the one to bring light. the Sun that will always cast a shadow for as long as it burns.

And the Shadow of the sun, always behind it no matter what. the Shadows that curl around the stars, and helps paint the night sky. the Shadows that can only be a Shadow so long as the Sun keeps burning, because Shadows without light is just darkness.