Andrew, Anonymous

I made this for class and am proud! Seems like it could find a home on tumblr

I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!  Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean:  I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company. Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.

when Alexander Claremont-Diaz says "it would be lie, because it wouldn’t be him" reblog if you agree

Hey everyone! We need your help to create the best party game ever!

Introducing… What The Plot?!

How does it work?

1.) Take a Prompt Card.

Ex. ’Tell us about the time a vampire hit on you.‘ 

2.) You have one minute to bullshit a story.

After the minute is up, the player next to you needs to continue your story and so on. 

However! There is also a pile of cards each with three words on it. Every turn you draw a card and have to use one of the three words from it in your story. Ex. breadstick, cactus, werewolf.’ If you don’t use one of the words during your turn, you lose points. If you can’t continue the story then you also lose points. And if your story is really awful, other players can play the ‘Boo Card’, causing you to lose a catastrophic amount of points. The player who is not the worst wins!

We have already found a supplier and a distribution center in both the US and Europe. We really want to know what you think. Let’s create this game together and make it the best it can possibly be. Are you in?

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

You know how the Japanese government laid off a massive amount of it's propaganda artists after the war? So there was this massive population of skilled artists looking for work? And it lead to the creation of the media form now known as hentai? Yeah? Okay so you know how basically every major American animation studio conglomerate is currently firing their animators as fast as humanly possible?

version of spn where dean is openly bisexual the entire time and definitely fucks a priest during a job and sam is does his judgmental little "dude" and dean is like "i already went to hell once man,, what's the worst that could happen" and everytime there's a new bad guy or apocalypse sam is like "this is bc you fucked a priest" and eventually he says it in front of Cas who does his little squint and head tilt and just

"You what?"

Marie Howe, from Magdalene: Poems; "What I Did Wrong"

Text ID: His cheek against my cheek, / his mouth on my mouth, / his hands on my hair / to be gathered / close closer / This was the source of my suffering and joy

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck