I Do Feel Like This Whole Self Improvement Culture Thing Can Go Too Far Where People Are Never Happy

nothing / sad n stuff

i don’t know what’s happening. are u not talking to me, purposefully???!? this is so unlike you and i wonder if something’s wrong. i asked if you were at the meeting earlier and you were but you haven’t replied to me since yesterday + haven’t tagged me in anything for the last 24 hours. i know that’s so trivial and we should be able to do our own things separately but i have a feeling something’s up. i dont need you to tell me if you dont feel comfortable but i dont like feeling helpless and i dont like the idea that i cant be there for you. i just need a sign that you’re okay. i love you so much and i miss you. i feel bad you’re not talking to me and that i dont know what’s going on, if any. i really hope ure okay girl like genuinely. not just because i miss you. i hope this isnt; because of ateneo cause you’re literally so much more than that. god please let this girl know im here for her whatever happens. she’s so much more reserved than i am and for the longest time, i’ve taken her for such a strong level-headed person. i want to be there when she doens’t feel like being her strongest self. im like crying and shit. i really miss you girl like WTF. talk to me!!!!

2025 in & outs 💌

i have suffered less than christ but have complained way more abt it

wow. i can't believe I made it to the for you page. hello. I'm very sorry I did not expect this. I would like to thank my dad

God, I refuse to live in worry when You’ve called me to live in peace. I’m handing You every anxious thought, because You do a better job running the universe than I do. In Jesus Name, amen.

date a girl who makes it harder to go to sleep but easier to get up every morning

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

I wanna say I’m overworked but I actually genuinely like what I’m doing and it’s DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY. Last night, I left a lamp open so, throughout the night, I was just subconsciously counting down to the time I needed to get up because I thought it was Thursday. I was also looking forward to what I had to do. It's so crazy. But like, thanks I guess?????? because I'm not as overworked as I thought I was because I don't despise what I'm doing. Then again, I know that I'm already overestimating my capacity to work and take in work and that one day, this might come back to bite me so hard in the ass. I'm just looking forward to SG honestly and I know when it comes around, I will deserve the trip because I worked so hard and OT'd so much. Thanks, Lord, because I did not know shit about this industry when I first got here and yet I am thriving now. This might even create a real career path for me if I give my best and the work I've done in the last 3 weeks has been a testament to that. I hope I am making my boss proud because he is my first boss ever and I was also his first ever hire and we both just took a chance on each other. I hope that this continues on because I really really like what I'm doing and I want to keep doing my best.

In the same light, I want to give the same amount of energy to my other job which ALSO took a chance on me. I always say I'm only around for the money but to my core, I know it's also worth giving my best to. So, my only prayer is for me to always have the energy to attend to my two big girl jobs that I really love. I cherish them and I want to keep them, and when the time comes that I need to move on to better and bigger things, I hope to do so in the right way.

Okay that's all!! I'm in Starbucks Grace Mall and loving the aircon so much :D I claimed my free drink and you already know what I got.

“No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.”

— Bob Dylan

from “ask polly: why should i keep going?”