bottleofdriedflowers
she/her
30 posts
Latest Posts by bottleofdriedflowers
The master bedroom of my condo doesn't even have a cuck chair. where am i supposed to eat my appy slices and peanutbutter?? on the bed?? I do that at home. I'm on vacation. i deserve to have a cuck chair. I have a chair i my room at home but it is a chairdrobe. I put all my close on that before I get around to putting them away. to have a useless chair is a simple luxury. sure I intended to blasphize the cuck chair by denying it's horny purposes, but so what i want to relax and have a nice diner of appie slices with more peanut butter than apple and microwave popcorn.
just took a shit so nasty I had to shower immediately afterwards
tummy grumbles have me hauling ass across the store white knuckling the cart, hoping I don't shit myself
whenever I'm depressed dogs hate me and my vibes. they hate me and won't stop barking, which honestly is not helping
WHO DID THIS. WHO DECIDED TO HAVE A ERECT CHIKEN TENDER WITH SAUSE DRIPPING FROM THE TIP. WHO WENT I WOULD LIKE SOME CUMMY NUGGIES AND MADE THIS PACKAGEING. NO. ILLEGAL. IT'S EVERYWHERE. SOMEONE SAW THIS AND SIGNED OFF ON THIS. THEY DIDN'T SEE A PROBLEM. THEY REALLY WENT YUP LOOKS GOOD AND MOVED ON WITH THIER LIFE.
Balbussy
sometimes you read a book series just to understand it's fanfic better
sometimes you just gotta add a new plant to the planter battle royal and hope it survives
eating water activated tape straight from the tape despenser like its fruit by the foot
had to go elbow deep in the couchussy to get the remote
Thought the Mountain Dew soda streamer was Mountain Dew scented dryer breads.
The gates of hell have opened in the Meijer woman's bathroom.
When you marinate meat, your meat also gets marinated.
*reads period chunks in toilet water like tea leaves*
those sci-fy goo chambers for clones look so moisturizing. It has to be amazing for your skin
Occasionally, when you bite the hand that feeds, it is your own.
Horrid sister, mother, cooks me in the winter to keep you warm!
mint infused pads make it feel like your pussy knows how it feels to chew five gum.
bathroom smelled, and now my lungs are pumpkin spice scented
Of course, I like all my posts. That's who they're made for.
*Stuffing large marshmallows with nuts to simulate bones as an alternative to eating the birds at my mom's bird feeder whole then eating it while staring at a particularly tasty looking finch*
it's bird time :)
Nothing is worse than bumping your headphones and turning on ambient mode. You're just watching your silly little videos one second, and the next, you're in the trenches during a storm praying to a god who will not answer for a mercy that will not be given.
sometimes your elbow is liked by a little creature in the night, and you just have to live with that
who needs patterns I can learn to sew by force of will
Drinking Piggly Wiggly water of unknown origin is like playing Russian Roulette. You can get pool water, water that was sitting outside to long on field day on the last day of school, Satan's toilet water, normal but slightly to the left, normal to the right, westbend, and slightly better than Dasani.
See these hands. They've been in so many armpits.