Choppedlambchops - Lamb Chops

Jason and I share the same rule it seems

Red Hood: The first rule of gun safety is get the fuck out of my house.

the hottest thing a man can have is a vaguely haunted look in his eyes like he had to confront an eldritch being a few years ago and the horror has mostly worn off but still sometimes sneaks up on him in quiet moments. the second hottest thing a man can have is a hoop earring.

no no. I trust that this will find its target audience

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Au where Bruce doesn't adopt Jason (because it never crosses his mind) but, after getting away with stealing Batman's tires and hitting him with a tire iron, Jason comes to the conclusion that B ain't shit and he can absolutely do more petty theft and mild inconveniences.

Batmobile is left unattended? The tires are gone. Batman drops a batarang/grapple gun? That's Jason's now. Batman tries to talk Jason into giving his stuff back? He clearly doesn't have them, you're crazy Bruce (the collection is visibly right behind him, he is literally holding a batarang as he says this).

Bruce tried to complain about it to Dick but he laughed so hard, he gave up. Dick thinks Jason is hilarious and after making sure he isn't dangerous helps him get into the manor. (Alfred won't say it out loud but he also clearly finds the kid funny so he let it happen)

Bruce eventually has a thought of "oh He's just looking for a family! I should adopt him!" And asks Jason if he wants to be officially adopted. Jay laughs in his face and throws a pillow at him. Bruce realises he was wrong.

He doesn't die, just goes out of town for a month or two to visit a friend and B immediately goes "all of my stuff is here wtf where'd Jay go?" and after looking around gotham he comes to the conclusion that he's dead. He tells Dick and Alfred that Jason died in an 'I'm absolutely certain' way so they assumed he double checked and didn't just overreact to a few weeks of absence.

Everyone was shocked next time he came to the manor (including Jason because he didn't think they'd care that much and didn't realize that B would assume he was dead) and it's just

"Jason?!? I thought you died!?"

"I was literally just at Roy's house?? Did you not think to check before assuming I died???"

Everyone is incredibly happy, Jason is just confused (and kind of flattered)

The other kids still show up, Tim came over to be B's fill in for Jason like a week before he came back and became a hero a few months after Jay came back. (They don't fight in this au because Jay didn't consider himself Bruce's son and neither of them were robin)

Damian is very concerned about the random dude that drops in and out of the manor (stealing random shit every time, from mugs and snacks to an entire TV) but B and Dick just go "nah he's basically family dw" like no that's our random theif.

Do you see my vision? I've been thinking about it for like an hour and finally decided to just post it. If this is a thing or if someone writes a fanfic or smth pls show me

This was a discussion I had with my professor, he got really worked up over it (by he I mean we, cause we both did). Just one word answer don't answer the question and I don't want to have to ask more questions and then have you get annoyed so then I think you're mad at me and continue to ask more questions to make sure I have full permission and then get you more annoyed then be mad at me. Or worse I go silent so I don't make you more mad at me (even tho you might not have been mad at me) and now YOU think I'm mad at you, (like I swear I'm not- I just don't want you to be) and then maybe get mad that I mad (even though I'm not mad, but you think I'm mad so now you are mad). So please can no mean no I don't want you to do said thing, and yes mean yes you can do said thing? OR vice versa! But just like can we all have a meeting and agree on which means what so people don't get mad at me?

I hate that if you say "do you mind if I ___" people say no to mean like "yes I mind, don't do it but that should be yes?? And people say yes to mean "yes you can do it" but also yes to mean "yes I mind, don't do it". But people also say no to mean "no, go ahead" which should be the standard but I feel like any time someone says "do you mind" I get the answer wrong and I literally don't know what to say

Like people just use 1 word answers and then act condescending when I ask what they mean but I know what yes/no means I just didn't know which of all the yesses or nos you meant. And I can't tell from tone because nearly all the time people say it, it's usually just kinda apathetic? Or they try to be "yeah idk" about it but like I don't know what you mean???

Why is it that the responsibility of communication always falls into me. Like you don't have anything to say until I text you, you don't want to tell me anything about that new promotion or partner until I want to call you up for comfort from a friend, you don't have anything to tell me until I reach out. Then like if we see each other in public it's always " You haven't called in a minute, is everything okay with you" or " We haven't talked in a bit" or "You should call more", if you truly wanted to talk then why don't you call? Why is it when I am mad or when I cry (which I don't do often) is it you want to tell me about all the good things happening to you while I just want to rant to you, or you want to complain about the fucking barista making your drink wrong?!?! Why does my life have to be put on hold for others or you have to compare you or your partner working a bit more to buy a fucking house together to my fucking fiance proposing then cheating! Or the fact that your mom/dad forgot to show up to your game ONE FUCKING TIME to my parents never showing to support me only to talk down about how shit I am to my parents not having one fucking photo of me or an achievement of mine but has my siblings finger paintings from kinder, to my parents not going to both of my graduations from high school and college! Like I want to complain that I couldn't do what I loved because I got shitty ass knees that affect my hips and lower back, I don't want to listen to you compare it to you breaking your leg when you were seven! Then they all get mad when I say anything like what the fuck am I suppose to do, not tell you how shit you treat me? Let you walk all over me?! I call you once in a while to talk to you about you but when I call once in a pink fucking moon to talk about me, I'm the bitch for not wanting you to compare yourself to me when it doesn't relate. I like when people try to relate by telling their problems that actually relate to what I am going through, not you saying dumb shit like "oh when I was 12 I moved and lost my friends but it only took a minute to get new ones" to my "I feel like I am being abandoned by my loved ones that I keep trying to please, did I do something wrong, am I upsetting others?". Like no you not seeing your partner a lot because you are putting in extra hours at work to afford a home together does not compare to me being scared to leave my cheating partner because I will have no where to go. Yes that is a problem and something we could talk about when I am not on the verge of a panic attack because of my problem. Then when say all of this people are like you are the problem, you are the reason people don't reach out to you. Like how am I at fault!!!???

Ghost: Johnny asked me to be his fake date at the wedding of one of his sisters so he can avoid the usual “Are you seeing someone” question.

Gaz: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know how this ends.