My Partner In Crime (ao3) Has Been Drafted Back To The War (is Having Problems) And Came Back To Me With

This is how I feel when I tell someone I wake up at 4:30 to run for an hour. Thank god I work third shift (I hate it).

tim: i’m a seventeen year old CEO of course i do drugs sometimes

bruce: tim i cannot describe how disappointed—

alfred: very hypocritical of you, master bruce. considering at 17 you and that harvey dent were running lines at that boarding school when you thought i wouldn’t find out

bruce: … carry on then…

HC that Ra's al Ghul knows internet slang.

Since he's been alive 600 years or so and obviously knows modern English, this means he regularly keeps up with language changes. He would thus be fluent in internet slang, even if he doesn't use it.

I think that instead of being super apprehensive about Jason and him dating Roy, Oliver should take one look at him and then one look at Bruce and go oh, I'm about to be so annoying.

Oliver starts being so nice to Jason. So nice. Inviting him to family dinners. Giving him both his hero communications and personal phone number and telling him to call whenever he needs something. He gives him new tech and keeps updating his weapons and armor. He helps with missions and clean up and says nothing if Jason is a little rough, apart from patting him on the back and saying good job. He starts keeping his picture inside his wallet and has other pictures of Jason, Roy and Lian framed in the house and tells everyone about him. He starts calling him son-in-law first and then just son and then calls him a Harper and eventually a Queen.

At first it was just to annoy Bruce, but after the first time he tells Jason that he did a good job and Jason starts to tear up a little, Oliver goes oh no, oh I'm actually doing this now. This my boy now. I don't care if he and Roy break up or something, this is my boy now.

Bruce still thinks he's just doing it for the sole purpose of pissing him off, though, and he is so fucking mad. The Justice League meetings have turned into a Cold War zone.

Bruce starts to being so nice to Jason as well, forcing himself to ignore some of the more outrageous things Jason does, and Jason is so, so fucking confused.

I have the most vivid crack-semicrack idea about Tim Drake, but am having trouble putting it into words

so please bear with me for a second

[in a timeline where] Tim really loved Robin and Batman, but it wasn't in his goals to ever actually be Robin until, well... anyways, he's Robin now, but this isn't his end goal, not Tim's life plans so to speak. Tim wouldn't be able to give up fighting crime ever, probably, but he doesn't want to be Robin forever. Not only that but B and Dick are acting a little more off than usual and there's this new guy, Red Hood on the streets.

Oh my God, that's Jason Todd, I thought he was dead. What do you mean he is coming to the Titans Tower, the place I currently am. Well, that's fine...

Cue Jason breaking in to beat up Tim only for Tim to whip around and start with a, "Oh neat, you're finally here, took you long enough," dropping a briefcase of events detailing Bruce's timeline after Jason's death, another briefcase of information on any current cases Tim thinks Jason can deal with, then just going, "Awesome to finally meet you and all that, awesome that your alive, I'm going on vacation, catch you later."

This leaves behind a very confused Red Hood and Bruce and Dick don't hear from Tim for 3 weeks, sending them into some kinda panic while Tim's having the time of his life on a beach somewhere

the real reason howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion

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