Latest Posts by choppedlambchops - Page 5
What to do when you leave the League of Assassins?
You go to Red Robin.
So let's say that Ra's lost a significant portion of his organization not just because Tim blew up his bases, but also because quite a few of those survivors decided to defect and follow Tim instead.
Tim is initially unsure about what to do with several hundred escapees from a cult but eventually figures things out.
His first step? He sends his ninja to be recruited by Jason.
Does Jason know that a significant portion of his goons are defects from the LOA? No, not for sure. He's absolutely suspicious but he cannot confirm.
Does Jason know that Tim sent the ninja? Not at all. He suspects they're from Talia and the ninja do nothing to disabuse him of that belief. Their loyalty is towards Tim after all.
Does Jason send them away? No, he's not about to let a bunch of sketchy ninja run loose in Gotham. Plus, the more skilled help he has, the more of a pain in the side he can be towards the Black Mask and the more territory he can hold.
Is Tim going to tell Jason? No, no he is not.
Tim, in the meantime, is busy making them new IDs since all of them are undocumented, ensuring they have regular paychecks on top of what Jason pays them, PTO, and health insurance. The PTO earns Tim their undying loyalty. He also recommends that they look into more sedate hobbies when they have the time and continue or begin their schooling. A significant number of them take up knitting and crocheting.
As a result, Tim knows what's going on in Jason's organization at any given time. The ninja are getting appropriate exercise and being acclimated to a relatively normal life. And when they're ready for something slower than Jason's reinvention of the mafia/mob, Tim is ready to help them on their next stage in reclaiming their life.
STOP. DON'T SCROLL. READ THIS TO SAVE LIVES IN GAZA. Below are some VETTED campaigns to support Gazans. These people have been experiencing an active genocide for almost a full year. Donate and share widely.
(may 27th)
Save a displaced Gazan Family (@ranibra) - Rania is married with five children, her husband needs medical care. She is now responsible to save her children. Help them evacuate.
Support Fahmi and his family (@fahmiakkila) - Fahmi's life has been turned completely upside down, and he now finds himself responsible to save his parents, sisters, & brothers - 7 members.
Save the Maliha family (@dinamaliha) - Dina wants to save her mother, two sisters, and three brothers. The family lost contact with their father when the genocide started. They desperately need to get to Egypt.
Save Firas' family (@firassalemnewacccount @prosolitudeeee) - Firas is a father of two children, a 10-month-old boy and a two-year-old girl, who are in need of safe haven in Egypt.
Help Husam and his family (@husamthaher) - Husam desperately needs to save himself, his wife, and 3 young children.
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Do not scroll past this list without contributing. This list makes it easy for you to find a fundraiser to support. Choose at least one. Your contribution will save lives. If you cannot donate, share these campaigns.
FIND MORE CAMPAIGNS HERE
A brilliant explanation of consent for anyone who STILL doesn’t get it.
Au where Bruce doesn't adopt Jason (because it never crosses his mind) but, after getting away with stealing Batman's tires and hitting him with a tire iron, Jason comes to the conclusion that B ain't shit and he can absolutely do more petty theft and mild inconveniences.
Batmobile is left unattended? The tires are gone. Batman drops a batarang/grapple gun? That's Jason's now. Batman tries to talk Jason into giving his stuff back? He clearly doesn't have them, you're crazy Bruce (the collection is visibly right behind him, he is literally holding a batarang as he says this).
Bruce tried to complain about it to Dick but he laughed so hard, he gave up. Dick thinks Jason is hilarious and after making sure he isn't dangerous helps him get into the manor. (Alfred won't say it out loud but he also clearly finds the kid funny so he let it happen)
Bruce eventually has a thought of "oh He's just looking for a family! I should adopt him!" And asks Jason if he wants to be officially adopted. Jay laughs in his face and throws a pillow at him. Bruce realises he was wrong.
He doesn't die, just goes out of town for a month or two to visit a friend and B immediately goes "all of my stuff is here wtf where'd Jay go?" and after looking around gotham he comes to the conclusion that he's dead. He tells Dick and Alfred that Jason died in an 'I'm absolutely certain' way so they assumed he double checked and didn't just overreact to a few weeks of absence.
Everyone was shocked next time he came to the manor (including Jason because he didn't think they'd care that much and didn't realize that B would assume he was dead) and it's just
"Jason?!? I thought you died!?"
"I was literally just at Roy's house?? Did you not think to check before assuming I died???"
Everyone is incredibly happy, Jason is just confused (and kind of flattered)
The other kids still show up, Tim came over to be B's fill in for Jason like a week before he came back and became a hero a few months after Jay came back. (They don't fight in this au because Jay didn't consider himself Bruce's son and neither of them were robin)
Damian is very concerned about the random dude that drops in and out of the manor (stealing random shit every time, from mugs and snacks to an entire TV) but B and Dick just go "nah he's basically family dw" like no that's our random theif.
Do you see my vision? I've been thinking about it for like an hour and finally decided to just post it. If this is a thing or if someone writes a fanfic or smth pls show me
I have the most vivid crack-semicrack idea about Tim Drake, but am having trouble putting it into words
so please bear with me for a second
[in a timeline where] Tim really loved Robin and Batman, but it wasn't in his goals to ever actually be Robin until, well... anyways, he's Robin now, but this isn't his end goal, not Tim's life plans so to speak. Tim wouldn't be able to give up fighting crime ever, probably, but he doesn't want to be Robin forever. Not only that but B and Dick are acting a little more off than usual and there's this new guy, Red Hood on the streets.
Oh my God, that's Jason Todd, I thought he was dead. What do you mean he is coming to the Titans Tower, the place I currently am. Well, that's fine...
Cue Jason breaking in to beat up Tim only for Tim to whip around and start with a, "Oh neat, you're finally here, took you long enough," dropping a briefcase of events detailing Bruce's timeline after Jason's death, another briefcase of information on any current cases Tim thinks Jason can deal with, then just going, "Awesome to finally meet you and all that, awesome that your alive, I'm going on vacation, catch you later."
This leaves behind a very confused Red Hood and Bruce and Dick don't hear from Tim for 3 weeks, sending them into some kinda panic while Tim's having the time of his life on a beach somewhere
Here's a website where Palestine GoFundMes are vetted and shared that you can send out to people. The url is gazafunds.com
Easy to use and simple. Just share the site whenever someone asks for GFMs for Palestine.
Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."
why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.
a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?
Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.
you can give seven days of internet connection to someone in gaza for just 6 USD
gazaesims.com is a website dedicated to helping people donate esims for people in gaza. (for the ultimate guide to donating an esim, see http://tinyurl.com/gaza-esims) there are multiple options for where to purchase an esim to donate, for the price i listed you want to use nomad esims. you can get a $3 discount by using someone's referral code from the notes of this post. it also will give the referrer credit to buy more esims! (you can only use a referral code on your first purchase) @/fairuzfan also a tag for esim referral codes here, some of which are nomad. BACKPACKNOMAD is another code to get $3 off your first purchase, it's been working for some people but not others so try out a referral code instead if you can't get it to work. also it took over an hour for the email with my information to come through so don't panic if it doesn't show up right away. (logging back into your nomad account seems to have helped some people get their emails to send!) NOMADCNG is a code for 5% off any middle east region nomad esims from connecting gaza. it can be used on any purchase, not just your first but is generally going to give less off than the first-purchase only codes, so use those first. it can be used in combination with nomad points. (nomad promo codes do not work on plans that are already on sale, unlimited plans, and plans under $5)
weekly tuesdays only code on nomad web, PST timezone! it gives 10% off plans 10gb and above. NOMADTUE
troubleshooting hint 1: if you are trying to pay through paypal, make sure you have pop-ups enabled! otherwise the payment window won't be able to appear.
troubleshooting hint 2: if you are trying to purchase an esim using the provider's app, it may block you from purchasing if your phone does not fit the requirements to install and use their esims. use their website in your browser instead and this problem should go away.
edit as of 4/9/24: nomad (regional middle east), holafly (israel and egypt), simly (palestine and middle east), and airalo (discover) are currently in the highest in demand. here is a purchase guide i made that covers all of the esim platforms, including these three platforms. if it has been more than 3 weeks since you initially sent your esim and your esim has not been activated, you can reforward your original email with the expiration date in the subject line. you can see gothhabiba’s guide for how to tell if your esims have been activated. if your esim has expired without use, you can contact customer service to renew or replace it.
The kitty cat in his arms ahhh I love this
I haven’t drawn in like 3 weeks here’s a Jason
I CANNOT😭😭
tim: i’m a seventeen year old CEO of course i do drugs sometimes
bruce: tim i cannot describe how disappointed—
alfred: very hypocritical of you, master bruce. considering at 17 you and that harvey dent were running lines at that boarding school when you thought i wouldn’t find out
bruce: … carry on then…
Every time Bruce pisses one of his kids off, they dramatically proclaim something along the lines of, “I hate you! Im going to stay with mom!!!” and then run off.
The first time it happens, Bruce nearly pisses himself because he takes it as some sort of suicidal ideation thing. He tries to go after whichever kid started this, probably Dick, but is unable to find them for whatever reason. He decides to look as Batman. Bruce absolutely sick with worry.
Selina Kyle put his kid in a catsuit.
As time goes on, more of his kids pull this little stunt and Bruce is a little less concerned. Every so often Catwoman is seen with her sidekick ‘Stray’ but every time Stray is makes an appearance they have a wildly different gender, height, and body type. It always the same costume design but in different sizes
Even Cass participated once! Bruce just sighed deeply and looked vaguely regretful. The only one who hadnt made an appearance as Stray had been Damian. Bruce really couldnt imagine Damian running off to be Stray. The kid still had his birth mother so there was no reason to.. become… stray…
Damian shows up as Stray. Instead of his sibling’s preferred stolen objects as a trophy? Selina let him keep a cat. The worst part? The cat’s name is Selina.
Dude take me fucking money!!! I would play the fuck outta this game
Imagining a point and click game focused on Gotham ambience and atmospheric music, having you navigate life as either a Gothamite or someone who recently moved there, with the option to get in contact with the bats, become one of the rogue’s goons, or even join Red Hood’s gang and work your way to the top 👁️
Each choice you make influences the story, and by then end of it you could be a rogue worse than the Joker, or the catalyst that brought the batfam back together 👀
Kon, having just found out one of Tim’s contingencies for him involves turning him into a worm
Kon: …
Kon: Hey Tim? Wo–
Tim: yes I’d still love you if you were a worm
Kon: I’m oddly okay with this plan
the autism runs rampant here
Awwwww we all deserve a dad like that
@ DC:
Everyday I wake up and pray DC will fix the mistakes made by the New-52
So goddamn sweet, I want my boyfriend to be like this!!!
Your Missus coming home after another night out with the boys.
Kyle and Johnny had taken Simon out again. Good lot, those two. He needed it, desperately so in your opinion.
So when he came home in the wee hours of the morning, pissed beyond belief, so much so that Kyle and Johnny were practically holding him up, well...
You figured Simon didn't know where he was. He'd taken one good look at you, or rather through you if his blurry gaze was any indication, and slurred out, "...'m sorry, luv, but I'm a taken missus."
Yes. Yes, you are, Simon.
You helped the boys get him situated. Simon refused to leave the couch, though. You made Johnny and Kyle crash in the spare bedroom and busied yourself helping your husband out of his clothes. His back would be an outright bitch in the morning. You can't say you didn't warn him. "Yer a good one, mate," Simon slurred as he sluggishly helped you take his shoes off, "Jus' like muh missus."
"That so? What's your missus like?" If you can't beat him, join him.
"Bes' fuckin' thing," he started, burping before laying down on his back. Simon looked at the ceiling, eyes half-lidded, fighting sleep yet two seconds from passing out, "Made o'good stuff, lovin' a bastard like me..." Your heart swelled with love, pride, and a little sorrow. You'll make sure to triple the amount of kisses you give him. After his hangover, that is.
"Yer made o'good stuff, too, mate," he trailed off sleepily, "Gonna get a'good missus like mine..."
"And what if I already have him?" You asked as you draped a blanket over Simon. "...Lucky bloke, then. Kick his ass if he doesn't see it..."
Will do, Simon. Will do.
And when your husband woke up the next day, his back an outright bitch, head throbbing, and cursing Kyle and Johnny to high heaven, you recounted every single word he said.
He hasn't lived it down since.
Dick:(looking away slightly guilty) did you know I didn’t come to your funeral? Bruce didn’t tell me
Jason:
Jason: (shrugs) well there’s always the next one
Dick: I-
For good luck
Most annoying thing about tourists especially us Americans like keep fucking moving please
tourists need to be fucking mindful of where they are because god fucking damn it you cannot abruptly stop in the middle of the fucking sidewalk just to take a pic of a statue or whatever. you can't make people wait in line for ten minutes just because you want a drink the way they do it in your country even if they keep telling you that it's not possible because they don't have the ingredients etc. jesus fucking christ.
Right?! They are so amazing and they just do what they do for fun! They keep me and others sane FOR FREE, they share what they create FOR FREE, they carve time out of their day to bless us with their masterpieces FOR FREE! And all they want are reblogs (in some cases), comments and likes/kudos! Like that's it, that's all you have to do for them to be happy to share FOR FREE. LIke how do fanfic authors do it and do it so well and do it FOR FREE!
crazy how fanfic authors drop the most beautiful and gorgeous pieces of work ever, leaving you speechless and sobbing at three in the morning as you quietly contemplate the masterpiece you just read
and they don’t get paid for it they just do it because they’re having fun and they want to share their joy with you
like I would literally die for all of you fanfic authors out there reblog to swear your allegiance to fanfic authors
ghost who responds to soaps “you’re being homophobic!” in public with a very fearful “baby i look straight don’t play these games”
i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person
don't be so hard on yourself girl your titties are amazing
"maybe the problem is you" oh the problem is definitely me, next question
I just think physical affection would fix me