This Is Horrible

How would the assassins react to meeting John Wick?

I was thinking if this should be a Modern Day AU or if it’s John Wick timetraveling kind of thing. Modern Day AU would probably be easier because if John Wick timetravel, he’d probably adopt a dog and live a simple life somewhere he knew would be peaceful (plus, the man deserves it)

So for this one, they meet John Wick during different times in his life.

Altaïr would consider him to be dangerous and would go down the rabbit hole trying to find him to check if he could be part of the Order. This ends up with him finding out about the Continental Hotel and that’s a whole other thing that he now has to deal with.

Ezio wants to recruit him because he saw his skills and thought “I can help him get better”. Every time their paths crossed, Ezio’s full on recruiter mode. Everybody else jokes that he has a guy crush. Ezio would agree. “I have fallen in love with him the moment he put a bullet between the eyes of my own target.”

Ratonhnhaké:ton has some kind of silent agreement with him if they cross path. You go your way and I go my way. He does consider him to be a good hit man (the Brotherhood does not like to call them ‘assassins’) but he also knows how annoying it would be to be focused on because of mistrust (Altaïr) or because they wanted your skills (Ezio).

Desmond actually met him when he was a bartender during one of John’s mission. He knew something was different about him and thought he might be an Assassin… but no. He wasn’t. Desmond honestly let out a sigh of relief when John said he was a contract killer, much to John’s amusement.

Edward crossed paths with him before John Wick became a contract killer. He was actually the first one to try and recruit him but John Wick turned him down. Ezio goes to him whenever he’s turned down and Edward just laughs. He and John did go drinking once and John told him he did wonder how his life would have been if he had agreed to Edward’s offer.

Arno is always polite around him and sometimes ask if they could team up. John always reject his offer though. Whenever he does, Arno would send his location to Ezio who would know immediately it’s John Wick related… because Arno can be quite petty XD

Jacob absolutely tried to recruit him and his way is more joking and a bit flirty. He would tell Evie that he was not flirting with the man. Evie would just raise an eyebrow at him then turn to John to apologize for her twin’s actions.

Bayek tried to recruit him once but stopped when he said no. The last time they met, he learned that John had given up his life as a contract killer to be with the woman he loves and Bayek wished for him the best. (we all know how that ended)

Basim and John first met when they were both just starting their careers in their respective ‘industries’. The next time they met, John noticed that something was different about Basim. Basim just laughs it off and tells him that he hadn’t changed. He just became who he truly was before.

If you like frogs. Or possums. Or cool builds. Or happiness. This is the video for you.

gordon ramsay: fuck me, is that a fucking past version of myself? from before i tried the main course? waiter: side effect of the house's special sauce, sorry sir gordon ramsay: jesus christ now he's coming over here gordon ramsay: who the fuck are you, why do you look like me gordon ramsay, ignoring gordon ramsay: god damnit, this obviously didn't happen in my original timeline waiter: sometimes the chef doesn't put enough tomatoes and the time loop isn't perfectly stable gordon ramsay: not perfectly stable love? i know this isn't your fault but this is a fucking paradox! my past self is obviously not going to have the sauce in the first place now, and this version of myself will never come to be! it's unsanitary! please bring the chef here i need to have a word with him both gordon ramsays, in perfect unison, looking at the camera: bloody hell, my notions of causality crushed and for what, some soggy fucking pasta?

NEW !!! SNAKE DISCOVERED

ITS CALLED THE LIMESTONE EYELASH PIT VIPER. THAT iS SO CUTE. ITS SO PRETTY

knights can be created by other knights like vampires except instead of biting them they wack them on the shoulders with swords

Replaying AC Black Flag and it is hilarious how in the early portions in the game, Edward just stumbles through things and bullshits his way to success having no idea wth people are going on about when they mention Templar's/Assassins an just nodding and going along with it all.

Black Flag really was just about how two ancient and powerful organisations were fucked over by one (1) drunk Welshman who just wanted a paycheck godbless-

Mmmm rice.

collection of fallout faction propaganda posters BY ME!