It's Almost Almost Christmas

(quote is a pete wentz livejournal post)

"i am that gasp of breath on your deathbead (stale and panicked) but you're still dying for me. i got a list of things in my head that i miss about you. id love to write them but i dont want to give myself away to you this easily."

-- AA 2-4 SPECIFIC SPOILERS --

No because this is so Enrida. It is so Matt coded. Gasp of breath on your deathbed ???? So on the nose here but like Yeah It's Suffocation. But you're still dying for me ???? And the use of 'for' as a preposition is so interesting because you can take it in the way of "you're dying because of me" but also "you are dying and you're doing it for me. a last act of devotion, even though I don't fucking deserve it." and I think that is so cool.

Things in my head that I miss about you. Present tense. He misses Juan in the here and now. He knows he fucked up. He made the worst mistake of his life and Juan is dead and he can't change that, he can only continue missing him. But keeping it all inside his head is all he's allowed to do. Because he's got an image. He's got their carefully curated rivalry to uphold. He can't reveal it. I don't want to give myself away to you this easily.

（´_｀）~~

practice sketches

“If you were in my shoes, you’d see I wear the same size as you”

so ive been playing a lot of baldur's gate 3 recently and after i finish my current playthrough im gonna do a dark urge run but have my tav be Matt Motherfucking Engarde. and I do actually have strong opinions about his class.

wild magic sorcerer . ! because he's definitely a charisma based class and I like to think about how his life might have been affected by the chaos that only wild magic can induce. And I've thought about maybe warlock before but I think it's very important for Matt to be like. The source of his own power, y'know? In line with his acting talent being the thing that got him where he was, like, he was a Child and he was working his ass off, it was not the result of some deity/being of some kind like "hey want some power??"

~~more under the cut~~

Maybe there's something with his backstory like . Something really terrible happens, maybe due to a wild magic effect (scar related? possibly? like that's how he gets his eye scar??) and he swears off using magic for a while but misses the feeling of being able to do great things and in this period of confusion is when he gets approached by some devil (he would be pact of the fiend, fight me) of some kind like "I heard you've been wanting power again?" and that's the kick in the ass that Matt needs to have this resurgence of faith in himself and his natural ability.

He's a performer/entertainer but I don't think he's bard coded y'know? Especially in fantasy land. And Paladin is the only other charisma class and um. No . That's just not him. I could see him maybe taking a few levels in rogue for sneak attack and cunning action type stuff but at his heart he's a magic user, it's intrinsically tied to who he is.

I also think he's either a human or a half-elf (high elf, sun flavor).

Only a normal looking guy in here, there's nothing wrong at all 😉

☕IN HERE☕

my final piece for @turnabout-cinema! had an absolute blast working on this one :]

Letting aa tumblr see more of my milesposting— Uhh this is from when I had to write a persona poem for a college course; pretty consistent narumitsu angst and canon-typical Miles thinking he's unlovable. Full poem under the cut as to not clog the dash!!

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𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

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Testimonial

Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, one year after choosing death

You tried to teach me honesty:

defending me when I was at my lowest,

severing Karma’s marionette strings.

You’re terminal. Incurably in love.

I hope you know that.

Chasing after some childish fantasy for

fifteen years.

And so desperate for a rose-tinted view

of the funeral flowers of my youth,

I let you run.

You tried to teach me mercy:

scorning the belief that I killed him,

when even I couldn’t admit my own innocence.

But you’re just as selfish as I

was raised to be since nine.

You know a guilty man when you see one,

so let the gavel fall, let me atone, give me that

right.

I deserve it. Yearn for it.

To sink into that shaking earth,

fragment myself into rubble.

What more must I do for you to give me up?

You tried to teach me loyalty:

fifteen years of an unrelenting pursuit,

you built your life around me.

“How could I refuse you?”

Your words, your spell. Our beginning

Rings in my ears, an echoing verdict.

Ring on my finger, a vow I couldn’t keep.

Body and soul both laid bare,

I tried to teach you truth.

I can’t absolve myself of regret,

so exonerate yourself from the responsibility

of burning up in my piteous blaze.

How far must I scatter my ashes

before they’re too widespread

for you to dare to rise from them again?

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𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

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yeah that's all uhhh i really like how this came out and i hope you guys do too!!!! it's like Too Easy to write Miles sometimes to the point that it scares me lmao. thanks for reading! hopefully more full fics soon~

kurosagi yayyyyyyy

talking with bestie about whether matt or juan would propose and i have reasoning for both. Here It Is.

Juan: He's been engaged once before. Clearly that did not work out. Unrest in pieces, bitch, I hate you Inpax. He's determined to get it right this time, because he's with the right person this time. Matt has always been the man he was meant to be with. They will always find their way back to each other, and Juan wants to ensure that there's no way he could ever lose him again. He's also a hopeless romantic as we know and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think he has a scrapbook laying around of different proposal ideas. He knows the shit that Matt has gone through, and probably not even the worst parts of it. That's a terrifying thought, and he wants to put as much of that pain in the past as he can. He wants to move forward with their lives, he wants to promise himself to Matt forever. He wants to promise Matt a soft forever, a delicate one, free of hurt and anguish. He's going to do it right.

Matt: Honestly, he needs a sense of control in his love life. So much of his relationships haven't had any of his input, and while of course Juan is nothing like that, the fear remains. Trauma does that to a guy. Again, fuck you Inpax. He likes the comfort and security of being agentic, making decisions. And he knows that Juan is the type to provide the grand romantic gestures instead of receiving them. Matt wants to change that. When his life went to shit, he lost control, he wasn't there for Juan, he couldn't provide comfort and love and care. He's back on the right track now. He can make up for lost time. He can get down on one knee and in spite of all his flaws, all his mistakes, the sins of his past that nearly cost his beloved his life, he can pledge to love this man forever. He already does. But Juan likes this cheesy shit (and Matt is learning to, though the process is slow). He wants to make Juan feel loved, he wants this proposal to be everything he's ever dreamed of. Everything he couldn't get the first time. It would be grandiose. Sentimental. Multifaceted. Intimate. A perfect whirlwind combination of what's in Juan's scrapbook and that charismatic clumsiness, maybe the heat of something A Little Too Personal, that is undeniably Matt Engarde.

okay yeah and these are my ramblings. enrida/juangarde i love you. The them. The sillies.

hello 4 fans of enrida.

you'll be getting some fics of them in the coming days. reskins of my other stuff on ao3 with one of them having a special twist second chapter !

i have original content for them in the works but like . summer job eats away most of my time