Me, On The Welcome Desk In The Library: Good Morning, How Are You Today?

naw. i think the monkey part of my brain just thinks that trees are Safe. besides god would have needed to climb up the tree if he wanted to smite me, which would’ve opened him up to getting kicked in the head. if the romans could kill him for three days with t-posing im pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to make it up my tree, which would’ve turned the whole thing into a siege, and i can say right now there’s a 0% chance of god being able to out-wait an autistic kid in a tree. he’s gonna get called away on some godly task in an thirty minutes tops but that kid has nowhere to go until lunch. easy win.

I can't debate this logic it's pretty sound

i wonder if jesus searched for judas when he came back to life. i wonder if jesus cried when he found out judas was gone. i wonder how bitter he felt that the man he loved was so racked with guilt for what he’d done he couldn’t live with himself.

even though it had always been god’s plan for judas to commit the betrayal.

jesus—joy and jeweled, the root of jesse, son of judah, judge of judge

Freud: All men want to sleep with their moms. It's called the Oedipus Complex.

Oedipus, who literally stabbed his eyes out when he realized he was a motherfucker: I'm sorry it's called the what?

I love being able to fix and repair stuff, or have my things fixed by a professional if I don't trust myself to fuck around with it. I wanted a new bracelet but the recycling centre shop didn't have one in my style so I got two necklaces for materials and crafted one to my liking. I've got two pairs of black leather boots that are almost exactly the same, one for use and one for a spare, and every time the ones I'm wearing break apart again, I can just dig out my spare boots, polish them up, and go take my broken old boots to the town cobbler for repairs like it's the fucking 1800s.

The plot structures of movies need to start taking more cues from classic opera. Open with a fucker in a hat who directly addresses the audience and explains what's going on in a way that raises far more questions than it answers, then immediately drop the viewer into the middle of a shouting argument between three of the weirdest people you can possibly imagine.

There are a fair few faux feminist statements I hate, but “We are the daughters of the witches you couldn’t burn” is one of them.

"the teachings of marcus aurelius tell you to go kill yourself, poster" is one of the most beautiful things i've seen on this site in a while

Yeah. Already blocked someone for missing the point. The matter was not that "there is always a better choice", the point was that there's always some other choice. If you can stand, you've always got the option of doing half a backflip and breaking your neck right where you stand. Should you do that? Probably not. But it is an option. So you can't say that "I have no choice but to be there doing this", when instead you can think "I can either be here doing this, or I could do half a backflip and break my neck. I'd rather be doing this."

If someone really believes they have no other choice but be seething on the internet, it's good to bear in mind that they don't have to live that way, they could also grant themselves the dignity of killing themselves. I have faith that there is a small, teeny tiny fraction of these people who would pause at that proposal and go "no, there's got to be some third option that's neither of them."

But most of them will insist they have no choice, and insist on continuing to seethe on the internet. They won't grant themselves the mercy of dying with dignity instead of living like that, so I have no sympathy for them.

Where's my Jewish phrase for when you people are being irrevocably horny?