Cpk.misc - Blog Posts
colour theory this, flattering silhouettes that.
babes I cannot overstate the importance of wearing things just because you enjoy them.
NOTHING is flattering if youre uncomfortable while wearing it - not a goddamn thing.
orienting your sense of style around what makes you visually palatable to others: 1) outsources some of your self-worth so it's beyond your control, and 2) sets you up for a Sisyphean journey of never being enough which feed the consumerist machine.
Don't try to look good. Try to look and feel yourself.
Most of the time, if you do something odd you're not allowed to do, getting you out of there is all that people are really concerned with. If you haven't stolen anything, caused any material damage, and clearly have no intention to put up a fight over being removed from the situation, you're not worth the trouble of getting you into trouble. Somebody who's unloading boxes from a company van to a storage and comes back to the truck to find that some weirdo has climbed inside the van through the open back doors doesn't get paid enough to forcibly physically detain you until the police arrive.
Most likely they just go "dude. could you like fuck off? you're not supposed to be there." And as soon as you shrug like "yeah lmao I know, sorry, impulse overtook me" and clearly proceed to comply with the request to fuck off, you're free to go, they're just relieved that you're gone. Most people aren't hell-bent on vengeance and punishment, they just want you to stop being their problem.
The plot structures of movies need to start taking more cues from classic opera. Open with a fucker in a hat who directly addresses the audience and explains what's going on in a way that raises far more questions than it answers, then immediately drop the viewer into the middle of a shouting argument between three of the weirdest people you can possibly imagine.
"the teachings of marcus aurelius tell you to go kill yourself, poster" is one of the most beautiful things i've seen on this site in a while
Yeah. Already blocked someone for missing the point. The matter was not that "there is always a better choice", the point was that there's always some other choice. If you can stand, you've always got the option of doing half a backflip and breaking your neck right where you stand. Should you do that? Probably not. But it is an option. So you can't say that "I have no choice but to be there doing this", when instead you can think "I can either be here doing this, or I could do half a backflip and break my neck. I'd rather be doing this."
If someone really believes they have no other choice but be seething on the internet, it's good to bear in mind that they don't have to live that way, they could also grant themselves the dignity of killing themselves. I have faith that there is a small, teeny tiny fraction of these people who would pause at that proposal and go "no, there's got to be some third option that's neither of them."
But most of them will insist they have no choice, and insist on continuing to seethe on the internet. They won't grant themselves the mercy of dying with dignity instead of living like that, so I have no sympathy for them.
Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:
- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain
- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck
- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap
- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill
- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard
- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style
Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.
Collect shitty knives and used lighters. Carry one of each in your pocket, they’ll come in handy. Straight up who’s gonna stop you now? Pick up a balisong and learn some tricks, it’ll be so sick when you can show them to someone you really like later. Same with zippos, play around and see if you can flick it in a unique way, and make it muscle memory. Throw your keys and some useful shit on a carabiner and put it on your belt. Wallet chains too, you can’t deny how sick they are. Fuck, hop on a skateboard, the impact of the ground becomes cathartic when you remember what it’s all for. Listen to lots of music and develop lots of opinions on it, before you know it you’ll have a back catalogue of shit to talk to people about, and then you’ll suddenly be someone who has sick recommendations. You can also just be a bit of a hooligan, climb shit, jump on it, have so much visible, mischievous fun that it’s contagious. Wear really shitty smudgy makeup and OWN it, it’s so hot. Shoulder check your pals and smile at them cheekily, make special handshakes with them, doesn’t matter if you have “your boys”, play with whoever is near, don’t wait til it’s perfect and the time is right
You can just start doing stuff whenever you want
wish there was a non rude way to be like “I understand your criticism, I don’t even necessarily disagree with it, but I am doing these things on purpose, because I like them and I want to, and therefore your opinion has no value, because you might think me painting a room entirely pink is tacky, but I did it on purpose”
unfortunately i do believe posthaste is one of the funniest words out there. how quick am i doing something? fast as fuck my good sir
You have been sentenced to death in a magical court. The court allows all prisoners to pick how they die and they will carry it out immediately. You have it all figured out until the prisoner before you picks old age and is instantly transformed into a dying old man. Your turn approaches.
Pros of growing your own vegetables: There's food in my dirt.
Cons of growing your own vegetables: There's dirt in my food.
I find supreme comfort in knowing that no matter what I fuck up, answering "well, what are you gonna do about it?" is always an option. Most people are not capable, willing, or emotionally prepared to commit enough physical violence to physically force me to stop doing whatever the fuck I'm doing, and now we both know it.
Whoever was the first bouncer who came up with the "you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" was one hell of a king for setting professional emotional boundaries. Such a gentle and tactful but explicitly clear way of concisely saying "look man I'm not telling you to go solve all your problems. All I need you to do for me is to stop being my problem."
I love being able to fix and repair stuff, or have my things fixed by a professional if I don't trust myself to fuck around with it. I wanted a new bracelet but the recycling centre shop didn't have one in my style so I got two necklaces for materials and crafted one to my liking. I've got two pairs of black leather boots that are almost exactly the same, one for use and one for a spare, and every time the ones I'm wearing break apart again, I can just dig out my spare boots, polish them up, and go take my broken old boots to the town cobbler for repairs like it's the fucking 1800s.
Crown Prince: IRL i'm the eldest child and also named after a prince
Knut: The name of a polar bear born in the Berlin zoo and what kickstarted my polar bear obsession (also the name of the stuffed polar bear in my profile pic)
USERNAME LORE GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU ALL
unfortunately, “it’s complicated” continues to be the correct answer to most questions worth asking. yeah I’m annoyed about it too
what the "go outside and touch grass" sayers dont know that if you go outside and touch grass for long enough you cross an event horizon in which you become significantly weirder and more fucked up than any chronically online asshole can be. and they like those people even less.
req'd by @thedragonemperess
oh just the usual
text: What the fuck is wrong with you other than the obvious
guy who does a cost benefit analysis that concludes killing the ceo is the most profitable opinion
Choose a subtly magical item for your adventure:
A sword that never chips or grows blunt
A flint and steel that works first try every time
Boots that are always comfortable, and never fall apart
Socks that never get wet
A cloak that is always the perfect temperature
A bag that can fit a little more than it reasonably should be able to
Arrows that can never be lost or broken
A purse that can never be stolen
A compass that points to the nearest source of drinkable water
