Using Emdashes And A Semi Colon In The Same Line. This Sentence Will End When I Do

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Oh Laika, patron saint of one way trips, I hope our sun is a warm yellow ball to forever play with.

I grew up with a grandma who quilted, but she’d never been interested in passing along the hobby, so when she finally kicked it I was the grandkid who got all her materials, ‘cause I was the only one who knew how to use a sewing machine. Then, in 2015, a friend had a baby and I figured I’d make her a quilt, ‘cause how hard could it be?

oh

my

god

Luckily I am the stubbornest human alive, ‘cause I never woulda finished otherwise. I didn’t know what I was doing, didn’t know the terms to look up how to do anything, I musta reinvented the wheel like eight times and it took ten months, BUT I DID IT.

Figured I’d suffered enough and would never do it again and now I’m on quilt #9 smdh

————————–

I’m hyperventilating.

Holy shit. Holy SHIT.

This is INCREDIBLE.

Oh my god.

I’ve gotta go lay down holy shit look at this how do we just walk by other human beings every day and live our separate lives when there’s a person sitting next to you on the train or in line for coffee who goes home and makes things like this what even IS being human holy shit.

GOOD FUCKING JOB.

Crown Prince: IRL i'm the eldest child and also named after a prince

Knut: The name of a polar bear born in the Berlin zoo and what kickstarted my polar bear obsession (also the name of the stuffed polar bear in my profile pic)

USERNAME LORE GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU ALL

what the "go outside and touch grass" sayers dont know that if you go outside and touch grass for long enough you cross an event horizon in which you become significantly weirder and more fucked up than any chronically online asshole can be. and they like those people even less.

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

The gender euphoria of having just a bit of rough stubble on your chin. Short and blunt - a clean look overall, but with a subtle touch of disheveled masculinity poking through. That's what it's all about. :-]

Choose a subtly magical item for your adventure:

A sword that never chips or grows blunt

A flint and steel that works first try every time

Boots that are always comfortable, and never fall apart

Socks that never get wet

A cloak that is always the perfect temperature

A bag that can fit a little more than it reasonably should be able to

Arrows that can never be lost or broken

A purse that can never be stolen

A compass that points to the nearest source of drinkable water

I think I met a new role model this morning, in the form of a professor.

When a student appeared tired, he said, oh are you tired? You didn’t have coffee maybe? That’s fair I only had three which is less than half than my normal consumption so forgive me if I’m not well woken up!

(Can’t insist enough on the fact that it was morning.)

Then he put a slide of his presentation and it was a species of animals and he went like ah yeah I’m supposed to talk about them to you but I don’t like them so I won’t! Next slide!

Other citations include:

So, you were all taught than the brain is three parts then 5, and I’m sorry to tell you your professor lied to you.

So, we don’t actually know how octopus brains work, or if they really have a brain, because when we try to study them they try to escape. And when we present them with a simple activity, they do something else instead. (For exemple, a typical activity would be pulling a lever to have a treat. An octopus broke the lever and played with it).

It’s actually harder to study octopus and crows than rats because they get bored.

Okay, you’re supposed to identify this picture, but you won’t be able to and that’s fair, so let me tell you what it is.

I put that info here because it’s cool but you don’t have to learn it. But you could, cause that would be a cool fun fact to tell your friend while drinking beers this evening.

Also important to tell that this man was very badly dressed, seemed to not have slept in like half a million years and not seen a hairbrush in even longer than that.

Im gonna have class with him next week as well and I can’t wait.

First ever recorded snowball fight (1897)

Happy Holidays And Merry Christmas To All!