I Can't Tell If I Was Too Smart Or Too Dumb To Get Gr00med.

i wish i had a stalker tbh

like a real one who would follow me home and watch my every move.

the kind that writes diary entries in their own blood, leaves their hair and clothes in my presence to let me know that i'm not alone.

and when they prove their love to me, they're going to make sure i reciprocate by any means necessary. that i'll be theirs, only theirs, from that point forward.

but alas, maybe i'm the one who has to be that stalker.

older woman with tattoos/piercings who gets me drunk/high save me

save me older woman with tattoos/piercings who gets me drunk/high

81

Depends on who's saying it

It's gotta be the right tone of voice and it needs to be a time when I'm bottoming y'know?

shorty got me sayin oh my stars

I'm sorry I liked all your posts ur funny and I wanna fuck you

aghhhhh i woke up sick to my stomach... why must the universe torture me like this?

anyway i had a really freaky dream but i can't remember it </3 i'll update tumblr if i do

i'm bored and i wanna answer boring questions :3

(PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TALK TO ME!!! or don't it's okay either way <3)

nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

intro post

hello! i am cyanospectre (been here plenty of times under various names) and you can call me Corvus, Cyan, Spectre, whatever you want really. prns are he/they but i don't particularly care (AMAB!!!!)

i'm audhd and this has only led to me being even sillier (and like twice as freaky. i think the lack of knowledge regarding social norms and boundaries has really pushed my "comfort zone" so to speak.)

interests: Persona series (in the middle of p1, beaten p3, p5, started p4), Death Note (duh.), Ace Attorney (just beat aa5!!!), Hollow Knight, Terraria, Minecraft, post-hardcore (MCR, PTV, etc.), nu-metal (Korn, Evanescence, some Limp Bizkit, etc.), punk (Dead Kennedys especially), and so many more. i am so normal about everything i like (just ask)

i love making friends, even beyond the freaky stuff. if you wanna talk, let's talk! i'm just a little bit awkward :(

expect me to mix big huge complicated words like "indefatigable" while i also show how completely rotten my brain is. and also that one tweet that's like "sexting like dracula." that's basically me.

freaky shit below cut

POINT OF NO RETURN!!!!!!!

i was NOT joking i'm freaky as hell!!

first things first, i'm pansexual, but if you're older than me i'm only letting you dom me if you're afab. no offense, guys, i just don't want stuff in my butt. SOME exceptions may apply, test the waters first.

more than willing to sub for older afab people though!!! as long as you're good at it, ofc.

i don't send (in most cases, like maybe you're really coercive or hot or something) but i'm not sure why you'd want nudes from me anyway!

kinks (no particular order, i wanna ramble): oh boy where do i even begin... switch (primarily dom w/ wiggle room), age gap (especially older woman/afab), praise (giving/receiving), degradation (giving only, i'm fragile), bondage (both light and extreme, giving/receiving), bodily harm/torture, worship, knives, sh (iykyk), cnc (especially somno/intox but everything), fauxcest, and like so much more

the best part is that i'm willing to try everything at least once. either ask beforehand or try exposing me to it and see where it goes, just listen and i'll do the same.

i am still clinging to my shreds of decency and morality, please understand if i'm a little hesitant or awkward at first!

it's hard for me to keep a conversation going after it's started, at least at first, so please be patient <3

if you don't want to rely on tumblr's shit ass messenger, i have a few other platforms.

tumblr im- CAUTION!!! open at all times for any reason, but don't be too explicit and don't send anything risque!

tlgd/tlgm/disc- i don't really give them out unless you make yourself seem interesting (especially disc), sell yourself :)

i have some others but i don't use them much

i may get "templed" but you'll know it's me from this intro post, i'll continue using it or something like it :)))

hickeys from an older woman ughhhh

being marked and claimed by a mother or older sister, hell, even a family friend. them telling me it's just them 'showing me how much i mean to them...'

addendum:

it goes beyond like degradation and stuff, i'm just really terrible at making myself get over the anxiety of doing something. i guess i'm just so afraid of people not liking me for something i do. is that normal..?

sometimes i wonder if i'm too nice for my own good

as much as i love the IDEA of doing it, i'm really awful at degrading people because i want everyone to feel good :D

it mostly comes from a place of anxiety, i guess. like a voice in the back of my head that tells me that everything i'm doing is wrong.

oh what a dilemma i have found myself in... i'd appreciate any tips if people have them, mostly about swallowing that anxiety (even though i don't think anyone would really read this)