My Range Of Emotions Go From “it’s Scary How Much I Feel” To “it’s Scary How Much I Don’t

i don't know why I just have the urge to avoid and ignore everyone and shut down.

talking to/spamming my bf and he mentioned when we meet irl one day and that made me just shdhelwkvso

i don't know how he puts up with me but I love him, I hope we can really see each other one day. please be soon. i mean, im getting a job when I graduate, so maybe it's really possible..

introductions!

hi, first off, this is a major TW account. mainly sh and sui. if you're not comfortable, then please. get out. i do not encourage this behavior, im simply venting and screaming my thoughts and actions. i don't intend to get better. i am also not a good person, by any standards, morally and mentally.

I am 19 yrs

disc- decayed.forest

identity? no. | somehow I have two partners (A & Z) which I dont get how

i kin music so much -> aWannabe, Original God, Rivilin, Rebzyyx, Max Fry

bpd, depression, severe anxiety and social skill issues, adhd, idfk and idc. questioning aspd and szpd I don't know what's going on anymore

things I like -> classic and supercars, Minecraft, Skyrim, gore, blood, crp, cof

DNI: 13 and under - 40 and over. religious bs. ed/sh groups. generally free with anyone interacting

tha ks for ruining my night mom

now I wanna put on my shoes, grab my blades and walk down to the park to just fuck shit up

high on anxiety my thoughts make no sense and too many too fast wanna find a way to get a gun and shoot myself or I'll just try od-ing when I get home

i hate this I hate this I hate this

I need someone to just talk anything and random nonsense to or I feel like I'll explode maybe im just overwhelmed but I'm also really pissed today

fuck people I hate them I hate them all

i don't know what I wanna do I don't know what to do I wanna just spill blood or random thoughts

i don't think you get just how much I need A back. i needy my lover back.. I need him to come back. i need to feel okay again. i need him.

i have posted too much today, I'm going to rot away until the 25th or unless something happens

I'm taking this as a ghosting/breakup. 4 years to nothing I guess.

it feels so weird and wrong starting over. i don't like this.