“whats Your Plan B?” - Suicide

why are we okay recently. well, not okay, but neutral. I'm not overly suicidal or depressed or anything like normal, but just rather nothing, numb, if anything. and I kinda hate it. makes the invalid feeling feel stronger.

it feels so weird and wrong starting over. i don't like this.

when you are very bad for years, people no longer worry.

you become invisible, a ghost.

I can leave now, everyone has forgotten me.

wonder why I don't have the energy or motivation to finish my school work. tired of teachers getting upset.

my teachers wouldn't understand or go easy even if I told them anything.

sorry I can't get the will to finish and turn things in. sorry I'm falling behind. sorry my grades just get worse each year. sorry I don't give a shit about anything.

i don't wanna speak, I don't wanna do any form of communication, I don't wanna type or write, I don't wanna talk. i don't wanna move. i don't wanna do anything.

again.

again.

again.

i just want to not exist, just wanna lay and rot, just wanna die.

best 30-40 ish minutes of this week

i just spent exploring the third floor of my old 4-5k building with my friend cause she needed props for a film class and I wanted to be useful

it genuinely looks like a abandoned school/warehouse on that floor and I love it

photos undercut because why not

(after they shut the floor down, it was used as a haunted house for a short time, now it's just storage)

feeling like blocking everyone but that just feels like too much of a hassle and questions to answer so I'm just going to go off the grid again without telling anyone

I need to stop going deep on my arm, its gonna bite me back in summer

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO GODDAMN COMPLICATED AND CONFUSING

3 months without a response feels like dying.