Digital-dissociation-blog - Digital Dissociation

Looking in the mirror while dissociated like

Sed the Depressed Hoarder of Bananas and Chocolate syrup 

nobody//anybody

Why is my heart so loyal and willing to someone who doesn’t even want me...? Its not fair..

Wow my bpd is acting up fiercely this morning. It’s so...annoying.  The paranoia...it’s sickeningly overwhelming Like I see you’re online, you’ve been online for a while, you haven’t even looked at my message.  Did I upset you? Did I do something wrong? Do you secretly hate me? Are you... leaving me...?? Who is stealing you away from me? Is it them? God it gives me such anxiety in the deepest pits of my stomach. Its such a feeling that screams “You need to be perfect! You’re not perfect! BE BETTER BE BETTER! HE’S GOING TO LEAVE YOU”  I need to be perfect or he’ll leave me for someone better. I’ll be replaced in an instant if I slack.  It makes my skin crawl... I just want to cry so fucking bad. I want to break down. I want you to hold me so tight and close, and tell me you’re not going anywhere, ever. Never ever.

Please don’t leave me, I love you. I really do.

I lost 6lbs in 3 days!!

💐 weight loss spell like to charge, rb to activate 💐

If I kill myself in daydreams enough times will it finally be real?

Please?

I can make it look like an accident so nobody cares or is sad

Just let me go now please

Please..?

The hope cannot be found

Letters to my parents, pt. 7