7/3/19
7/3/19
9:20am
I feel like fuck. My head hurts. My stomach is killing me. Stress ulcers maybe?
My heart has also been acting up again, every anxiety pang gets my heart to skip and palpitate. Which unfortunately is way more often than not.
Wondering if my iron is low, got that stupid blood disorder that ruins everything if my eating is ‘off’.
I’m also shaking a bit, my hands are just shaking lightly.
Just going to smoke some, calm my nerves, and try and rest.
It’ll pass. Time passing is inevitable, this won’t last forever. I just gotta tough it out.
Fucking tired.
More Posts from Digital-dissociation-blog and Others
Gentle reminder that the brain gets used to intense stimuli over time and that it tends to seek out things that make you feel bad again once you’re in a better place
So if you’re suffering from trauma, abuse or depression then don’t beat yourself up about wanting to feel bad again and seeking out triggers or abuse. It’s not because you deserve any of that, it’s because your brain was exposed to bad things for so long that it can’t make sense of how you’re doing now.
We’ve all been there. It’s going to be okay. You can do this.
Wow my bpd is acting up fiercely this morning. It’s so...annoying. The paranoia...it’s sickeningly overwhelming Like I see you’re online, you’ve been online for a while, you haven’t even looked at my message. Did I upset you? Did I do something wrong? Do you secretly hate me? Are you... leaving me...?? Who is stealing you away from me? Is it them? God it gives me such anxiety in the deepest pits of my stomach. Its such a feeling that screams “You need to be perfect! You’re not perfect! BE BETTER BE BETTER! HE’S GOING TO LEAVE YOU” I need to be perfect or he’ll leave me for someone better. I’ll be replaced in an instant if I slack. It makes my skin crawl... I just want to cry so fucking bad. I want to break down. I want you to hold me so tight and close, and tell me you’re not going anywhere, ever. Never ever.
Please don’t leave me, I love you. I really do.
'No one gives a fuck about my nightmares, But it's nothing you should worry yourself about.'
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