[later]

I had a person come up to the counter today, look at my badge and go, "You're not [insert stereotypical male name here].

Which, yeah, right, true, technically, I'm not, I had the wrong badge. I forgot mine at home, and I used my coworker's one. It was the only one available and it had "[male name], he/him".

(Side note, I so so so love that our badges have pronouns on them, it's so nice! Another side note, I go by they/them most of the time, but I don't mind he/she/ze or any other pronouns)

And, usually, gender is a concept I don't have the time or brain capacity to consider. It doesn't really matter for me personally, I know I appear feminine, and I don't have a problem with customers referring to me by she/her. I mean, sure, it's nice if they look at my badge, see "Cork, they/them" and refer to me by it, but honestly, the amount of fucks I give about random people using wrong pronouns is zero.

But this person at the counter just, I dunno. Looked like they wanted a fight. And the shop was empty, and I was bored, so I was like

You know what? Sure, let's do this. It's probably the only entertainment I'm gonna have today, might as well make it as confusing as possible. Because I love to watch the world burn, sue me.

So I go, "I actually am."

"But you don't look like [male name]!"

Been there, done that, "What do I look like, then?"

Stutter. "I don't know, but you're not [male name]!"

Okay, we're just repeating ourselves now, sure, "Then who am I?"

"NOT [male name]!!! Why are you wearing a badge that has a wrong name?!"

And it was at this moment that a brilliant thought crossed my mind. So I smile, cute and nice and pretty, and I go, "Because I stole it."

"You what?"

"I stole this name from the one who had it, and now he has no name and I get to have it. Now, can I have your name for this order?" And I extend a hand to them, like asking to put something in there, because I'm now committing to the bit. All while looking them in the eyes and keeping the smile.

They ended up leaving without ordering anything, but they also didn't speak to me after that, so that's a win, overall. And the manager laughed at that, so I'm not even in trouble.

The moral of the story? When in doubt, play by the fae rules.

I didn't even lie, technically speaking.

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

The Moon and The Ocean Tide AU 4

Percy: *good boy pose, side-eyeing Echo*

Echo: *looking at an erupt volcano in horror* No, I won’t call you a good boy. You blew up an island!

Percy: *crying sad good boy pose*

Goblet Of Fire Meets Musical

“Let me go! Let me go!”

Harry’s head shot up in alarm at a very familiar voice. It was the voice of someone he hadn’t talk to in three days.

“I bloody swear George!” Four seats down from where he sat, stood Ron Weasley (the very boy…them? Ron once mention that he didn’t feel much like a boy a year ago as they shared the bed in the nurse’s infirmary. Both completely tired and full of trauma that was Harry’s father and friends drama; clutching onto each other over close calls.) struggling against his brothers. Pearly white teeth bared in hot coals of inferno rage. Freckles that Harry love to count during History of Magic disappearing under burgundy red blush. “Fred! Get Off! I’ll tell mum! I will, you’ll see!”

The green eyed teen, now know as the fourth campion in the triwizard tournament, quickly struggled to get up on his feet. Unadulterated panic ran throughout his veins to his weak heart (anything that made his Best Friend cry out send him into a frenzy) as if it was in a race. Gasps of shock and whispers of confusion filled the half full dinner hall. His eyes never leaving the struggling form of the youngest Weasley son even as his large heavy glasses start to slide off his face.

“Come now Ronnnie!” George cackled pulling his little brother closer.

“We just want a bit of a chat.” Fred tittered with what sounded to malice glee to onlookers’ discomfort. “Truly ickle Ronnikins! You act like-”

“We’re going to do something untowards! How cruel.”

“How boarish.”

“Hurts. Right here.”

“In the heart.”

“But being cruel is what he’s good at, ain’t he Gred?” Fred asked in mock jest as he starts to pull out what looked to be one of the twins new product. Ron’s electric blue eyes widened as they start to glow white in fear, his struggling becoming frantic. “Being jealous of our poor little Potter.”

Ron stilled in confusion. Harry watched as pale chapped pink lips mouthing the word ‘jealous’.

“That there, you be right Feorge.” George agreed grabbing his captive brother’s chin tightly. Glee filled his body as it always done at the thought of playing a tiny prank at their bother. “Maybe he can pent a bit by helping us with this new product?”

“Oh yes my dearest twin. What an excellent idea! Come Lil’ickle Ronnikins! Help us test out our new Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes Party sing n’ dance!”

Ron let out a shout of terror as he renew his tussle to get away from his childhood tormentors. He refuses to be a guinea pig for them once again against his will. Electric blue eyes, nearly white, looked around for help. He could see couple of students from the other schools race out of their seats to get to him from the laughing Slytherin and gossiping Ravenclaw tables. Even Harry (probably realizing that sending the twins at him like a pack of bloodhounds was a bad idea. For being jealous. Jealous! Honestly, where did he get that idea? Jealous.) was staggering their way.

“Hé! Laissez-le partir!” A red wine haired teenager girl from Beauxbaton snarled as she snarled. She whipped out her reddish-gray wand and called out a spell. “Libération!”

Everyone waited with bated breath as pastel red flash of energy shot out of the girl’s wand and hit the closes arm. They watch as Fred’s arm spasm, causing the large truffle size ball to smack into the youngest male Weasley’s cheekbone. Watched as it exploded and cover all three males in a bright nova colored cloud. Red wine haired teen let out a surprised squeal as she clasps her hands to her mouth in shame.

“Ron!” Harry cried out, floundered toward them impulsively. His only thought was to get to his sunset red haired boy. “Ron talk to me!”

Coughing was his only answer.

That was before a gust of heat like an oven pulse out as fire flared out to the ceiling. The students closes to the fire screech out, scrambling to get away. Harry himself took a few steps back, eyes blinking in discomfort. Once his eyes stop watering, he took in the sight of Ron’s hair doing its best to be a forest fire.

(“My family is blessed with fire.” Ron mumbled into his chest, sleep dancing in his voice. The slightly older boy rubbed his face into the other’s over-baggy pajama shirt. “Da’s da was said to be *yawn* from the third branch of the great Bear Queen. Fire has power over us in sum. Drag still hur’ thou.”

“Third branch?” Harry asked with a softest of tone, eyes to heavy with the sandman’s dreamer magic.

“Third child that had child of their own. ‘Tis a pure-blood thingy. Gotta be strong string to magik thou.”

“Hmm…”)

“You…” Ron snarled, hair getting brighter.

“Now Ronnie…” Fred stammered as he took a clumsy step backward, pulling George with him. “Let’s be calm?”

The younger twin squeaked as he clung to the other’s arm. “I thought only Charlie and Percy could do that.”

“Not now Georgie.”

“Ah, right Freddie.”

Soon an eerie sound of music filled the air.

The room started to darkened and chill.

Not a sound came from the only students and staff in the room as Ron took a calculated step towards his beloved brothers. His usually sweet, joyful face was now cold and stone. Eyes no longer glowing white with fear but with hot blue hell fire.

“It seems, difficult brothers will take advantage of my good nature.” Was hissed out, sending a shudder through all. A hand (a bruise starting to form at its wrist) slowly raises towards the cowering six years. “So lets lock them up.”

The fire from the fourth year’s hair slithered down his neck, across his arm and out his fingers like snakes. Zooming to the air as if it was a hawk diving for its prey. Fred and George screamed as the flames became solid, wrapping around them like rope.

“Throw away the key! I bet there’s one on every tree.” Lyrics coldly being song out through Ron’s lips. Allowing everyone to feel the anger, the hatred and the completely done emotion that was swirling like a whorlpool within the singer’s body.

Memorized by what was happening in front of him, Harry jumped as someone grabbed his robes. His head snapped to look behind him to see Hermione watching with horror.

“Ungrateful!” Came tearing out of Fred’s throat.

George followed after; “Hateful!”

“Vile too!” They sang together in stress.

Ron could feel his eyes roll as if he was playing a role in a story that he had no control over. He was enraged, that much was true but to embarrass his brothers like this? Well…he wasn’t the twins themselves. They were the arses and cruel ones in the family. He should know…fourteen years was enough to see that. “The thing they put me through. Break my spirit as they play! Making me into a silly display. Maybe you’d called wholesome play…”

Tears slowly snuck into his eyes.

“But I’ll call it cruel.” A sob threatened to escape from him; “Cruel love.”

Unwilling to breakdown and become even more of a laughing stock, Ron pulled out his own wand. With a shuddering gasp of air, he summoned the rest of the product. He knew that those….he didn’t know what to call them at the moment. Not that it matters to him right now. He was just too tired for this shite.

“I bloody hope you two know how to handle a sodding lawsuit in case some poor sod is allergic.”

Fred shaking his head to clear, he couldn’t help but question his brother. “Whatcha mean?”

Ron shot five looking truffles into the air, exclaiming; “Vehemens Ventus!”

The room bellow as the spell hit the products. A strong gust that could be considered as a tornado ravaged the arena. Smoke covering their eyes like a dense black fog and filled their lungs, suffocating like an uncontrollable forest fire.

“You want to play arseholes?” The cause of the chaos inquired forbidding. Blue flames glare at the trembling forms of the ones that started the path of the chaos causer. “ Hahaha fine. Game on…bitches.”

more memes let's gooooo

Stalling

bet

Reblog this if you want a slightly ominous compliment in your inbox

pirates never been so silly

subscribing to a fic isn’t enough I need the author to blast a bat signal into the night sky whenever they update

What straw hat would be god of what?