Sometimes I Cry.

Most people got annoyed with me as I freaked out seeing a spider in my class today. The spider was small, I admit, but it was jumping like crazy in a lightning speed. And trust me when I say, it scared me to death.

I'm not joking when I say I'm scared of spiders. Spiders are my worst nightmares.

I was scared of it since I was a child. My mother also used to get annoyed at me. Whenever I complained about a spider in our bathroom, she would force me to go in, instead of removing it. I feared it so much, that I had scary nightmares of it for a long time. I even cried myself to sleep some nights. I would pray to God to remove all kinds of spiders around me.

I got older. But my fear didn't go. Recently I went to stay with one of my aunts from my father's side of the family. There were huge spiders on their walls of the room I was staying in. And guess what? I stayed up most of the night and watched them move along the walls. Since I was very tired, eventually I fell asleep. But the moment I woke up next day, I searched for the location of those little creatures immediately.

An information to you, who get annoyed by any people freaking out at a thing which you may find pretty silly: People don't freak out to get attention.

I swear, I was embarrassed to death when I came to my sense after those brief moments of panic. I could hear my heart beating upto my throat. As an overthinker, I would probably relive those moments the whole day and probably the whole week. It's not like I can make all the choices for my brain.

Happy Birthday to one of the strongest people I know...

The only sensible character in the whole play...

“While I only hated my husband, I could bear to see him—but since I have despised him, he’s too offensive.”

(Mrs. Fainall, The Way of the World)

Restoration Series

Then why am I crying?

... and I will wait for you! {trans cr. @/haruharu_w_bts}

The Other Side - Part 2

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Park Jimin x OC (Amelia) Genre: Fluff/Angst Word Count: 1.7k Words Warning: Drinking, foul language, mention of kiss, this chapter doesn’t deal with any major triggering issues. Note: (18+) Additional chapters contain heavy angst and sensitive topics. If you can’t handle problematic issues, I advise you to not read any further.

Summary: When Amelia and her bestie have an encounter with the duo (JiKook), they seem to develop a love and hate kinda relationship...

Part 1 - Part 2 - More to Come

Are we doing business? Or do you hate me? - Danger by BTS

“Do you want a drink?” I asked.

“I would rather have another ice cream.” Tara replied.

I rolled my eyes, “Do you even eat anything other than that?”

Tara was my best friend since grade two. We had our ups and downs, but were never separated permanently until Tara decided to live in the city to attend college. But whenever she came back to town we would hangout like we were kids again. This time, she came to visit the seasonal festival and I was determined to have the best night of my life.

I paid for the snacks and added to the stall keeper, “We’ll have ice cream and Cheetos too.”

“Two bottles of beer, please.” I heard someone beside me. We both looked at each other at once and I wished I didn’t have.

“Hey! Crybaby! How are you? Oh, hi there, Tara! Didn’t know you were in town too. So, you girls were having a little get together or something?”

Yes! It was no other than Jeon Jungkook. Just looking at him made me want to punch his face. I put on a fake smile over my gritted teeth and spoke rather mockingly, “How are you, big teeth?”

Jungkook chuckled and replied, “The bunny’s doing great. Thank you.”

“And so are the Barbies.” Tara snapped before pulling me away.

“Hey! Wait for me.” Jungkook called. We saw him taking his beers and paying hurriedly before sprinting towards our direction.

“Is he serious, right now?” Tara whispered to me in annoyance.

Jungkook whined, “C’mon! We met after a long time. And you didn’t even talk to me at Tae’s party. ‘Cause you were too busy drooling over Jimin.”

“Excuse me!” I asked, offended. Jungkook was really testing my patience.

“Who the hell is Jimin?” Tara asked, unaware.

“I’m Jimin.” Suddenly someone spoke beside us.

I looked at him in disbelief. My immediate thought was that he was perhaps stalking me. But then, I remembered that Jimin was a really good friend of Jungkook. So, it wasn’t unusual that he came to his friend’s town to attend a festival.

“Amelia!” He turned to me with a faint smirk on his face, “We meet again.”

“So, you’ve been talking about me with Jungkook?” I inquired Jimin as soon as we were left alone. Tara went to the bathroom and Jungkook was taking an important phone call.

“To be honest,” Jimin chuckled, “you’re the only thing I’ve been talking about these past few days.”

Jimin really knew how to flatter because I could tell that my face went red. But it wasn't time to give in to his seduction, especially when I was supposed to be angry at him.

"So, you guys are really having some fun talking behind my back, huh?" I retorted.

"You are indeed fun to talk about, I won't lie, but…"

I didn’t let him continue whatever he was going to say next. "Listen, I'm not interested in wasting time with you. I don't know why you'd approached me that night. I don't know what Jungkook has been telling you and whatever you're telling him in return. All I know and want you to be clear about is that I’m done encountering you. If you still don't let go, you'll have to deal with Taehyung."

Jimin laughed at my speech which only added fuel to my anger. "Well, one thing is true, then.”

“And what’s that?”

“You complain a lot to your brother, like a cry-baby."

Had it been Jungkook, he would have earned a slap across his face by now. I breathed out through my mouth to avoid doing something stupid. But someone spoke loudly beside me, "who the hell do you think you are, speaking like that to my best friend in front of me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Jimin was yet again cut off.

This time, Tara angrily started to rant, "our night's already ruined. Thanks to your asshole friend. Now don't get me started on you. Don't even think you have any chance with my girl just because you're…"

"Tara," I immediately interrupted, "let's get going. It's no good fighting with them. We should know better since our previous arguments with the other asshole."

"Yeah, whatever!" Tara turned along with me.

"I'm staying in town for a few days." Jimin yelled behind us as we were walking away from him. "Don't hope to never see me again. 'Coz who knows! You might."

I grunted in frustration while  Tara asked, "want me to go back and kick him in the balls?"

"Why do all the good looking guys have to be assholes?" Tara sighed one day.

I raised my eyebrows, "which assholes are you referring to?"

"Whom do you think?"

"Umm…" I thought for a while, "I know for once, Jimin is attractive and also, turned out to be an asshole like his friend. Who else do you mean?"

"I mean," Tara replied, "his friend that you just mentioned."

If Tara had said that she was pregnant, I would have been less surprised.

"What the hell, dude!" I couldn't mask my disgust, "How can you find Jungkook attractive? I knew your taste in men was trash but him?"

"Oh, thank you very much." Tara argued, "Mind you, I didn't say he was attractive. I only said 'good-looking'. And I believe I added that he was an asshole. So, he doesn’t really fall under the men of my taste. By the way, aren't you the one attracted to assholes? As far as I know, it wasn't me who made out with one of them."

I was flustered by her reply. "Hey, that was… a mistake. I was… I was drunk." I stuttered.

Tara started to laugh. I couldn't believe she was bullying me for kissing Jimin. Maybe, I shouldn't have confided in her everything. Especially the part where I said I actually enjoyed making out with him.

"You're mean!"

I stood up and walked out of my room to the living room only to find that Taehyung was having a blast with his friends. And the friends in question are none other than my life long enemy, Jungkook and my most recent crush, Jimin.

Turns out Jimin was a sneaky bitch. Somehow he managed to manipulate Taehyung into thinking that it was his friendship that Jimin was after all along and he had nothing to do with me. He also added that there was a girl in his city that he was seeing. Taehyung didn’t seem to have any problem with being friends with him since he didn’t pose an immediate threat of becoming someone closer to me. Now, my brother was having the time of his life chatting with the two people I couldn’t even bear to talk with.

Both me and Tara listened to all the bullshit for a while and then decided it was time to leave. “We’re going out!” I said to my brother, “Want me to get you something?”

“Nope!” His reply was short.

“Well, enjoy, I guess!” I muttered under my breath and headed out with Tara.

“Wait!” Jimin ran out of the house behind us.

Tara moved in between and asked, “What do you want?”

“I wanna talk with Amelia!” Jimin replied casually.

“Why?” Tara pressed further, “Isn’t it Tae whom you’re after?”

Jimin looked irritated, “Can you please give us some space for a moment?”

“What do you need a space for? I thought you had a girlfriend. Why? Aren’t you loyal?” Tara kept on going.

“Are you just going to enjoy this?” Jimin looked at me helplessly.

I simply shrugged my shoulders in reply. Jungkook came to his rescue. “Hey, Tara! Wanna know what the whole college is talking about?”

Tara’s face went red, “Jeon Jungkook, I swear I’m going to kill you if you did anything funny!” And she stormed away inside the house along with a smirking Jungkook.

“Hey…” Jimin started but I cut him in between.

“Is there anything important that you wanna say? If not, please go bother someone else.”

“You didn’t even let me start!” he pouted.

I frowned at his words, “Your pretense of being a cutie ain’t gonna help you now.”

Jimin turned serious and asked, “What’s up with you? I can’t seem to read you right. One minute you’re so into me, the next minute you won’t even look at me? Is Tae the matter?”

“Nope!” I answered truthfully, “It’s you! You’re the matter.”

“Will you at least tell me what I did wrong since the last time we met?” Jimin asked gently.

I thought for a while before saying, “Why do you even care? I’m only an inside joke between the two of you.”

Jimin started nodding his head as if he just realized something very basic, “So, Jungkook’s the matter, huh?”

“No!” I denied.

“Oh, dear!” Jimin laughed, “Do you realize how long it had been since you were in school? Seriously? Are you still holding a grudge over those silly fights you had with him? Are you still that petty?”

I huffed in annoyance, “Go on. Tell me more about what else he had told you about me.”

“Nothing but all the good times that he had with you.” Jimin said with a smile.

“Huh?”

“Amelia!” Jimin shook me by the shoulders, “Jungkook always talked about you and Tara as if you were his only friends in high school. Yeah, he mentioned the fights and all. But at the end of the day, he still considers you his friends. The time when I confessed to him about you, the only thing he said was that I was diving in for some adventure. And it wasn’t even said in a bad way. He really ships us with all his might.”

I kept blinking at him in disbelief. Surely, Jungkook wouldn’t talk all nice about us let alone calling us his friends. What is Jimin trying to do here?

At that time, Tara came out yelling at Jungkook behind her, “Grow up, rabbit faced!” 

“After you, bitch!” A boiling red Jungkook yelled back at her.

Tara took my hand and pulled me away from the house. “Just ignore him. He’s a bit upset, you know!”

“What did you say for him to act like that?” I asked.

“Nothing much!” Tara shrugged, “Just reminded him how desperate he was.”

“Desperate for what?”

In reply, Tara just let out a laugh.

< Previous || Next > (Coming Soon)

My Masterlist

I had a dream, I was a lady. Or was it a nightmare?

Happy Birthday to My Eternal Sunshine

Late Night Chat

Late night. The roads were deserted. Isaac could feel the gentle breeze over his face. The sound of the little waves on the sea was also satisfying. For a moment, Isaac thought, “the world is very peaceful.” In the next moment a different thought hit him. "No! The world is peaceful without any people on it.”

Isaac stood by the bridge over the sea momentarily. Then he stood up above the railing. He had thought about it over a thousand times. He would do this at last. No more second thoughts.

Suddenly Isaac heard footsteps. He froze. “Can anyone be here in this time of night?” he thought. The possibility seemed very negligible. But the footsteps drew closer. Isaac started to stress. Had they seen Isaac standing on the railing? More importantly, had they guessed his intention?

Someone spoke from behind, “the wind is so pleasant here, isn’t it?” The voice sounded like a little girl. Isaac climbed down and looked back.

There stood a girl in a blue hoodie. She was wearing round spectacles. Dark brown hair reached upto her shoulder. Isaac thought that she might be about twelve years old.

“Yes.” Isaac shivered a little as he said so. The girl came closer and Isaac could see her face more clearly in the street light. She looked calm. Her face looked more mature than a twelve years old. “Not a little girl, after all.” Isaac thought.

“Is that your car?” the girl pointed at a range rover parked nearby. “Yes.” replied Isaac shortly.

“Do you live nearby?”

“Not really. I’m from the city.”

“Which is very unlikely in this time of night.” the girl said with a dreamy expression.

“Do you come here often?” Isaac asked to change the topic.

“Mostly at night.” the girl replied with a smile. Isaac thought that he had come here many a night but never had seen a single person except for the buses and cars passing by the street occasionally.

The girl seemed to read his mind, “I saw you the other day.” By ‘the other day’, what she had meant, Isaac didn’t know.

He turned away from the girl and started walking towards his car. Maybe the girl hadn’t guessed his intention of coming here so often.

The girl shouted from behind, “You didn’t tell me your name yet.”

Isaac turned, considered for a second and said, “Isaac, it is.”

“Nice to meet you, Isaac.” the girl said widening her smile. She looked very pretty when she smiled or at least that’s what Isaac thought.

“My name’s Alicia. Call me Rabbit.” the girl said, still smiling. Isaac asked, “why Rabbit?” He never heard anyone called Rabbit before.

“My friends call me that. They say, it’s my spirit animal, that I’m always on the move. Besides, I like to hop.” She hopped towards Isaac twice and Isaac began to laugh. Her smile too reached her sparkling eyes.

“Alright, Rabbit.” said Isaac after he was finished with laughing. “How old are you?” asked Isaac thinking if she really was a twelve years old kid.

Rabbit raised her eyebrows but said coolly, “seventeen, and you?” Isaac replied, “I’m eighteen.”

Rabbit said with a surprising tone, “God! You look like fifteen.”

“Is that because of my height?”

“Not only that, but your face and doings.”

Isaac’s eyes widened, “what does she mean by ‘doings’?” he thought.

“I should be going home now.” Isaac said as he hurried towards the car again.

“No, wait!” Rabbit ran towards Isaac. Isaac stopped and turned to face her.

A moment of silence passed between them. A car passed by speedily, breaking the silence.

“Did you ever go down to stand by the sea?” Rabbit tried to raise her voice in vain. She cleared her throat and said, “I mean, it would be very nice to have a company.”

Isaac heard himself saying, “I always wanted to. But couldn’t.”

“I’ll take you then.” Rabbit smiled beautifully again and Isaac couldn’t resist.

They walked down through a slope by the end of the bridge and stood by the sea.

Isaac asked, “How many friends do you have?”

“Three, including my mom.”

“What about your father? Isn’t he counted as a friend?”

“Not really.” Rabbit looked at Isaac; who was still staring at the sea and began “What about...”

Isaac cut her through and said, “I don’t have friends, unless you count yourself.”

“Okay. Congratulation on making your first ever friend.” Saying so, Rabbit shook his hand. And then, the two new friends started making conversation.

Isaac found his spirit raising more and more as he talked with her through the night. There was something very exciting about her. No wonder why she was called Rabbit.

“Do you go to college?” at one point, Rabbit asked, wondering why he didn’t have any friend.

Isaac only smiled. He can’t help thinking about college. His days in college were so hard that he decided to stop going. But his parents always kept on pushing about this subject which hurt him an awful lot. Isaac’s smile faded thinking about it all over again.

Rabbit seemed to be understanding everything. She simply nodded and said, “I don’t go either.”

Isaac was a bit surprised at the reply, “Why?” he asked, “Only if you want to share.”

“It’s okay.” said Rabbit, “Actually my family can’t really afford it. I have to work so that my little sister can go to school at least.”

“But your parents...” began Isaac.

“My father’s an alcoholic. He doesn’t live with us.”

Isaac couldn’t think of any suitable reply. He nodded to avoide saying anything stupid in this delicate subject.

“Mom’s too sick to work.” said Rabbit, “so, now I’m the only one to take care of my little family.” Rabbit smiled at Isaac once again.

Isaac couldn’t process it. He couldn’t imagine how this pretty smile was formed.

“How can you?” Isaac asked finally.

Rabbit looked a bit confused, “What do you mean?”

“How can you look so happy when you’re going through all these?”

“Because” Rabbit said, “I AM happy.” She said it in a way as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Isaac looked away. “She is pretending. Just like I always do.” thought Isaac.

“My life doesn’t suck as much as it should have. Do you know why?” asked Rabbit in a calm way. Isaac didn’t answer.

Finally Rabbit said, “Because at good times, I live it to the fullest.”

A moment of silence. Then a question raised in Isaac. He turned to her and asked, “What about the bad times?”

“That’s simple, I remember the good ones.” Rabbit said with a smile. Then she added, “I should be going home. See you some other time, I guess?”

Saying this Rabbit started walking towards her home while Isaac stood motionless.

The dawn was breaking. Isaac stood up on the railing of the bridge again. But this time he closed his eyes. A very happy moment of his life peeped inside his mind. That one lead to another happy memory; which lead to another. Thus, Isaac kept on thinking, his eyes closed, hands spreading on both sides and his lips curving at the sides to form a smile.

That's 💯 % correct...

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue is lowkey Dorian Gray fanfiction which is basically Doctor Faustus fanfiction which is basically Goethe's Faust fanfiction which is basically Paradise Lost meta which is in fact Bible fanfiction

How Do You Recover After “Squid Game”?

Because I can’t... Ever since I’ve watched the series I kept thinking about it literally ALL THE FRICKING TIME... I have an upcoming exam and here I am... I’ve tried watching other things to get my mind off this series but nah... Not working... The only way out is to write it out now.

Where can I start, the characters... GOD!!! The characters were so realistic and relatable. Their heartbreaking backstories just broke me. I knew I would love the series since episode 2.

Sae-byeok and her brother; what they were going through was so tough. I also have a little sister and her being apart from the whole family is unimaginable.

Sang-Woo’s situation was the most relatable. He felt worthless and was burdened with his mother’s hope. He was stressed to the point of being suicidal. It was just too much. And I’m not ashamed to say that his character was the most realistic one and I love him.

And Ali, he was so innocent and grateful. His was probably the softest heart in the whole series. I wish I could just gave him a hug. He was just so lovely. HE DESERVED BETTER!!!

I need to talk to someone about ALL THIS THINGS or I’ll go crazy...