Jimin Fluff - Blog Posts

𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 / 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬

▶️ - Ongoing

❄️ - Series

🌻 - Fluff

A/N:Okey.... Now you and your Husband know that you are getting a Baby.You are 3 months Pregnant. You need to tell the Members / Your Families.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

𝐉𝐢𝐧:

You where sitting in the Living room nervously playing with your fingers.”Jinie...?” Jin looks at you,eyes full of worry “Is everything fine Baby?” You nod your head “Yes Handsome I am just scared about their reaction....Do you think they will be happy...?” Jin walks over to you.

“Dont worry Baby they said at our Weeding that they couldn't waif for their Grandchildren dont worry to much okey?” You nervously bite your bottom lip and nod.

At this Moment the Doorbell rings You stand up and walk to the Door while Jin walks into the kitchen”I will wait for you in the Kitchen Jagi”You nod and open the door there stood Jins parents “Hello Miss and Mr.Kim” You bow and let them in.Jin mother hugs You “Hello my lovely Daughter-In-Law”

Jin Vather gave you a hug to “We are happy about the invitation,I'm curious if our son can still cook so well“You giggle “Of course.....But now lets go he is waiting in the Kitchen” You walk to the kitchen, Jin Parent following you.

Jin was smiling as he saw his parents and walked over to them and gave them a big hug “Eomma,Appa I missed you! Please sit down the food will be ready in a few seconds”They sat down at the Table.You looked at Jin he just nod.

You took a deep breath “We have to tell you something Eomma and Appa”Jin walks over to you and put his hand on your shoulder.He gave you a kiss on you cheek.”I am happy to announce that you will be grandparents soon”

Their jaws droops and they began to smile brightly Jins Mother come to you and hugs you “R-Really....I am gonna be a grandmother.....?”Jin nod “Yes Eomma” Jin father just sat there smiling”I am so happy for you two”

The dinner was full of Happiness.

𝐘𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢:

You where with Yoongi and  your Parents at a Park.You all sat on the Grass with a blanked and food.The Sun was shining brightly.

You where sitting on Yoongis lap his arms where wrapped around you.Your Parents where sitting on the other side.

You where eating Strawberry´s sometimes giving Yoongi one.He smiled ant thanked you.You parents where talking with Yoongi about his work.

After a while they stopped talking and it was a comfortable silence. You cleared your throat “So....The main reason why we invite you here because we wanted to tell you something” You look at Yoongi.

He gave you his Gummy Smile.Your Father looked at you with a confused look “What is ist sweets?” Yoongis smile got brighter.

“So you know the last weeks Y/N didn't feel good so we went to the Hospital and.....”

Your Mother looked worried “Is it something bad?” You shake your head as no she sight in relive.

Yoongi continue “The Doctor said that we are going to have a Mini version of us running around the House!” You Parents hug you both “This are the best News of the whole Day!”

You Smile and lay your hand on your belly.

(He is so cute....help me.....)

𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤:

It wasent planed to tell them like this but......

It was Friday you where with Hobi on tour, at the moment he is practicing with his members on stage.

You where sitting In front of him with Namjoons,Jimins ansd Yoongis Wife You where watching the Members Practicing Black Swan While Yoongis Wife was Resting her head on your shoulder “Y/N did you and Hoseok already told your Parents that You are Pregnant?” You shake your head as no “No we didnt had a chance to tell them Now did you Guys already told your parents?” Yoongis Wife and Namjoons Wife nod too just Jimins wife shook her head as no “Nah we want to tell them when we come back from Tour” You nod understanding “Me Too” Then the members came.

Hobi walks over to you “Hey Angel how are..?” You kissed him “ I am Fine we talked about who told their parents that they are pregnant” Hobi nod.

Right at this moment your phone rings.

Oh no......

IT WHERE HOSEOKS PARENTS!

You gasp “H-Hobi....?”He grabs your phone and answered “Hey Eomma Appa and my beloved sister!”

Hobis Sister waves her hand”Hobi where is Y/N? Isnt she with you” Hobi smile and turns the Camera around so they could see you You waved nervous Next to you was Jimins Wife “hey!” You didnt know what came over you but your mouth began to move from alone.

“I AM PREGNANT..........!”

You quickly cover your Mouth “Shit....!” Hobi smiles.

His sister begin Singing and dancing around “I am gonna be an Auntie YEY Good Job Brother” Hobi Blushes “T-Thank You...”His Parents Congratulate you two. The Others where giggling and smiling like Idiots.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧:

Its Christmas

Namjoons and your Parents are over at your house.

You where at the living room waiting for Your Husband to come home from his studio.You where happy and you know that your parents where going to be happy because al they talk about where Grandchildren.

Every time they where over they asked you if you where pregnant  You answered every time with a No.

You and Namjoon talked about when you are going to tell them.

You suggested that you tell them about Christmas.He agreed.

The door open and your beloved husband comes in.He walks directly over to you and gave you a short loving Kiss.”Hey Princess How are you feeling?” You smile “I am Fine my Joonie the Pooh”

Later that day You where sitting in the living room on one sofa where His and your Parents on the other side where you and Namjoon.

Your parent gave you a picture of you all together on the couch smiling in the Camera. You both thanked them.

Then you gave them a little purple box. Namjoons Mother Opens it and began Crying she gave the box to her husband and he began smiling. Your Mother looked in the Box.Inside where little white baby shoes withe the sentence “We will see each other soon” on it and your positive Pregnancy test.She smiles widely Namjoon Smiles Back “You like our present?” They al nod while smiling widely.“Of course we love it” 

𝐉𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧:

You where with Jimin at BigHit.

The Members where practicing wile you and the other Wifes where sitting on the floor.You all where talking.

You got Bored.You look around The Boys where Practicing Boy with Love You walked over to the Desk and take the last banana milk.This was a bad Idea....

And half hour later the Boys where ready and came to you.Jimin gives you his Eye smile(UwU) and gave you a passionate kiss on the lipst Yongi Looks over “Hey Get a room” HIs wife hits him on his chest “Hey be nice Yoongi Bear” The members smile “Aish Kitten why did you have to call me that right now” The members Giggle.

Then you hear Jungkook gasp “Yaaaaa WHO DRANK MY LAST BANANA MILK!!”

You look down at your hand and quickly hide the Banana Milk behind your back.Jimin smiles at you.

Everyone looks at you,You smile innocently “hehe.....Why are you all looking at me like that hahah?” Jungkook walks to you “Y/N do you have anything to say?”

“Ähhhmmm No....”You quickly stood up and run away Jungkook Runs after you “PARK Y/N Get your ass back here and buy me a new banana milk!” Jimin runs after Jungkook in this moment jungkook catch you and throws you over his shoulder.

“Yaaa Jungkook you Brat!Be careful Y/N is Pregnant!”

Jungkook lets you down immediately and looks at you with his doe eyes.”R-Really Nonna.... You are Pregnant...........?” All members stares at you three.

You nod “Yes.......” All Members begin cheering.They all ran to you and gave you a big group hug.

Jimin Couldn't describe his happiness right now

𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠:

You where in the Kitchen with your and Taehyungs Parent.

Everyone was eating expect you,you just look down and sight.Tae looks at you worried.”Baby Tiger are you okey?”You nod.”Yes TaeTae I am Fine”

His Mother looks at you “Y/N? You look so pale are you sure you are fine?” You sight but nod again “Dont worry I am More than fine”

After Dinner you all talked a bit untill you Couldn't hold it anymore and stood up and walked in your bedroom and got a little Light blue box.

Taehyungs Father looked at you”Oooooh what is this Y/N?”

You walked over to Tae and sat down on his lap.He smile at you “What do you think it is Eomma,Appa?” They shrug their shoulders “I have No idea maybe a Picture?”

You hum “Near Here Appa open It”You gave him the light blue Box,he carefully opens it.

In the Box is and Ultrasound Picture from your last Hospital visit one week ago,little baby socks and a Card With a baby on it.He gave it you Taehyungs Mother She open the card and red out loud

“Hello there I am exited to meet You all.Right now i am Save in Mommys Tummy. Seeyou in a few Months.

love your Grandchild~”

Taes parents Smiles and begin Hugging each other and begain squealing “WE ARE GETTING A GRANDCHILD!”

You look Tae and He smile at you “I love Baby”

𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤:

You where at the hospital because you had an Appointment to be sure that your baby was fine.

Jungkook promised to pick you up because unfortunately he has practice.He told the boys that he hast to pick you up from the hospital.

They al begin to worry so they persuaded Jungkook to let them come with him.

He sight but agreed anyways.He drove an half hour to the Hospital he send you a message that he will be there in a few minutes with the members because they where worried.

At the Hospital:

You where standing outside waiting for him He runs over so you and gave you ab hug and a Kiss on the lips you kiss him back.

All the boys came running towards you and Begin questioning about your health.

You couldn't understand them al so “Hey Boys Calm down I am Fine I didn't go here for my health haha”They all look at you with a questioning Look Jin Was wondering”What do you mean ´Not for your health´?”

Jungkook gave them his Bunny Smile.

“The Appointment was for Our Baby Bunny”

Namjoon looks at you”Your what.......? Does that mean You are Pregnant?”You and Jungkook nod.They all where hugging each other and Congratulating you Both.

Jungkook looks at you “How is our Baby Bunny?” You Giggle “Our Bunny Is fine in here” You lay your hand on you tummy he Kisses your Cheek.

I Just need three hours for this I need your help Wen need Genders For the Babys So leave a comment which gender their Babys should have Thank you~

I hope you like it~

I Purple you~

when the camellia blooms | pjm

park jimin x kim! reader | 1 | 2

sypnosis: diagnosed with the hanahaki disease, you had only two options - accept a deathly fate, or never love again. 

genre: au, angst, fluff, humor, friends to lovers? maybe.

warnings: many talks of death and dying, namjoon is the sweetest brother omg, unrequited love, swearing, pining, longing, fictional added terms and effects of the hanahaki disease, really sad reader, really sad characters, and lots of angst.

word count: (read author's note)

reminder: this is a sequel. please read part one here; however, this also could serve as a stand-alone, but I would advise you read the first part as well for the full experience.

a/n: i was mauling for a long long long time over whether i should do three parts at most or just keep this one really lengthy, and since i was afraid of losing track if i chose to cut it in parts again, i just decided to make this one quite a bit long. sorry!

"let me try to love you back to life."

"Is that what you think?"

You remember the long pause before your response, a deafening silence amidst the growing tense and suffocating air that evening as you spoke.

You had known then that Jimin regretted what he said the moment he did, but it was too late. He’s already said it, and he’s hurt you.

Jimin looks at you with ache as you stare accordingly at the blank wall, noticing the way your eyes have begun to well up in tears as the familiar feeling of tightness succumbs your throat, light feathers of pink flowers forcefully being swallowed down, "Do you think that I don't remember? That I simply don't care? That I'm just on the fence playing peek-a-boo with death on my door?"

Focusing on you with a heart contrite, Jimin places his bottom lip in between his teeth, eyes meshed together amongst sorrow as he swallows in shame, feeling completely guilty at his preceding words.

"y/n I-"

You then laugh ironically, halting him to a stop.

"Forgive me, Jimin."

Your throat is furthermore burning by each passing second as you direct your gaze at the cause of your painful love, "Forgive me if I prefer to want to spend my last days in peace with the acceptance of my crushing fate. Forgive me for not wanting to die on my death bed sulking and cursing the universe and God and myself and whatever I can for this unfair hanafuckinghaki sickness. Forgive me-"

You uttered every word that night with a sense of despise, a sense of spite, each one a striking arrow shot directly at Jimin's heart.

"-if I choose to pretend to be happy and to be okay for my brother and for your sake." You spit out, last words purposely said with more effect.

Taking a few steps closer towards him, you point your finger accusingly against his chest as your tears willingly fall, lips slightly quivering as your anger all the more increases the moment you two lock eyes.

Your breath is caught at the back of your throat as you look up, finding yourself standing in the very front of Jimin's presence.

You swallow harshly, height difference being of no use as your red eyes focusedly trained on his same ones tower over him, both pairs seemingy battling for agony, "But don't you stand there and accuse me of being indifferent- fucking indifferent of all fucking things towards Sung's death. She was my friend before yours, and losing her hurt just as much as anything else."

You remember crying out, not finding an interest on holding in neither your sobs nor your coughs any longer as you did so right at his face, further recalling how you felt not even an ounce of guilt whatsoever as you purposefully reminded him of your current illness in hopes of making him feel worse.

“y/n please...” Jimin barely utters out, almost visibly fading from the way you raise your voice further in his attempts of cutting you off.

"Don't. Don’t you dare accuse me of ever forgetting that night, because as far as I remember, I was the one who kept inside the pain of losing someone close. I was the one who held you when you cried, consoling you to an unbearable extent that I forgot to console myself." Still looking at him in the eyes, you speak out words of regret as you proceed to cough lightly, the pain inside you endlessly growing that you insisted on passing it to someone else.

One word after another, you could remember physically witnessing the pain in Jimin's eyes.

The way his eyebrows were furrowed together and the glistening streaks that ran along his red cheeks were an evident proof of your success in wounding him, but you didn't care. You told yourself you didn't care. You lied to yourself in saying you didn’t care.

No. You didn't care.

For once, you could still sense that rushing feeling of wanting to lessen the burden of falling in love with Jimin. For once, you wanted to make him feel the pain you've kept inside you for the past two years. For once- for once you wanted to be the cause of his pain, not the other way around.

But that once lasted only as is, just once.

The moment you speak those words against him, your heart begins to ache all the more, the dreaded feeling of guilt and shame and love and pain all united together in rising above your limit as you abruptly collapse onto his arms, growing weak and coughing brutally as the camellias say hello to its desired lover.

You eyes begin to desperately search his as you cling onto him, head proceedingly buried against his chest all the while sobbing uncontrollably, apologies escaping past your visibly whimpering lips, “I-I'm sorry, Chim. I didnt- I don't blame you, I'm so sorry-"

You remember seeing Jimin, just seconds ago having been distraught and practically falling apart from your direct words, somehow manage to gather himself as he stands his ground, still and determined on holding you securely.

His arms are wrapped around you in a protective yet delicate manner, eyes trained worriedly on your fragile state all the while patting your back, tenderly comforting you, “Shh- shh. It’s okay, y/n. Just breathe. Focus on your breathing, that’s right.”

Your breathing has gone erratic, lifting your head a tad bit in order to look at him as you reminisce that night, when you were the one holding him as he cried. "I'm so sorry, Chim."

You remember the first few of your countless apologies which Jimin nevertheminds, holding no other concern than that of which is your state of well-being.

"It's okay, okay? We're okay. Now c'mon, walk with me to the sofa. You can do that right? On three. One, two three..”

Minutes feel like hours as you recall the way Jimin assisted you for a time on end, treating you as though you were a rare delicacy with his manner of tenderness, softness, soft whispers against your ear and soft touches along your spine as he helps you find your amity once more.

Unaware that he is just that — your amity, your armistice.

Sat on the sofa, you continue on controlling your breathing as you inhale in and exhale out, Jimin's voice supple and light by the side of your earlobe as words of encouragement slip past his lips, still slightly red and swollen from his previous cries.

You could practically feel his breath against your ear with the sheer distance between the two of you, the noticeable intimacy of both your positions making you shudder and shut your eyes in an attempt of preserving in place another series of newly blooming flowers.

Standing up abruptly, you look at anywhere but Jimin as you scan your surroundings, all before making a clear statement.

Hesitantly, you whisper, "I think I should go."

Jimin's eyes haltingly falters, confusion capitulating his entire expression before attempting to reach out to you, "So soon? I think you should stay y/n-"

"Why?" You intervene motionlessly.

Caught aback with the benevolence and lack of sentiment in your voice, Jimin unrequitedly stutters as he responds, "Because y-your condition is still not well and I-"

"My brother is a doctor, Chim. I'll ask him to stay with me."

"-I just think it'll be better for you to stay here for a while and rest-"

"Better for me?" You begin, once more keeping his words short, "Or better for you?"

You remember Jimin's widened eyes, clearly not expecting you to say what you did.

"I.." Jimin thinks before continuing, hands grazing yours just as he speaks, "I just want you here. I need you here."

At his words, you remember recalling that exact phrase spoken to you the night Sung died, just when he caught himself falling apart and firstly reached out to you.

You remember the way he stared at you with a sense of longing, a sense of yearning, deeply wanting to convey an emotion you don't- you refuse to understand.

Because you recognizes the love held not only on his eyes, but on his touch, on his lips,

making you want to kiss him, hold him, touch him.

God, you just want to love him.

“Jimin..” Your voice feels light against his face, whispers eluding past your lips as your breath leaves a wisp along Jimin’s plump cheeks, stroking the slightly pink and flushed skin from the sadness it’s undergone not too long ago.

His eyes beam longingly at you, conveying messages that seem foreign to your understanding as your heart palpitates unevenly against his grasp. But it was enough to block your mind, it was enough to drive you wild, it was enough for you to completely lose all sense and thought-process, your brain not reciprocating anything other than what the heart is yearning for.

Him.

And lastly, you remember not being able to hold yourself back as you bring to life the buried words you have kept underground for the longest time.

Your eyes trained directly at his averts down to his lips, the camellias no more blooming as it succumbs to desire, craving no more than to offer him the love you have saved in secret for the past twenty four months, "I love you, Jimin."

Lowly pronounced words as you gaze at him, breath still and steadily fanning the smile slowly forming on his lips.

"I love you too, y/n. You're my best friend."

You remember your conflict, the feeling of pure loss and distraught overtaking you as you remain still. There you were, being loved by him completely, yet it is a love that seemingly leaves you feeling incomplete. Feeling unwhole and broken, feeling void and sunken.

You remember hearing your heart physically crack as you perceive his words, your sight lingering on his own, mockingly filled with a kind of love that you didn't want.

A love that you, quite literally, didn't need.

As soon as you hear what he’s chosen to disclose, you crack an unwilling fictitious smile on your lips just seconds before a hand covers it, your body limpingly maneuvering against Jimin’s hold as you feel your throat contract once more, catching his undivided attention.

Eyebrows furrowed, Jimin calls out in confusion, “y/-”

You remember the endless coughs that had suddenly broke out of you, the worst of what is offered from the Hanahaki being at present time the moment his lips offer a chaffing smile, his concern and sincerity being your death unbeknownst to him.

Coughing vigorously, you push Jimin aside as the overwhelming feeling of sorness and torment leads you to spurt out tears by the corners of your eyes, pushing you to whimper out cryingly. Your back is turned from the origin of your agony as he calls out your name, a voice so quiet yet loud against your hearing, emotionally wounding you as you cry out in pain.

"-y/n..?"

Because you remember a one petal.

And then two, then three,

and you remember blood.

Not wanting to let him see you in such a state that shall most definitely force him to fully understand the meaning of your supposed ‘love’ for him, you run out of his home, opening the door and not bothering to shut it close as you hurryingly exit out.

You ignore all of his calls and pleas as you run

and you run

and you run

and you run

and you cough, thanking the heavens silently as you locate a bus stopped after passing a few blocks.

“y/n wait! Please!-”

You step inside the transportation with no intention of looking back, forcing yourself to cancel out the calls of Jimin's voice, muffled from the reaches of the outside bus doors. A voice that's calling you. A voice that you most definitely would run to if given the opportunity, a chance that excludes coughing and hurting and crying

-and dying.

Ignoring the whispers and talks of the three other passengers inside the vehicle, you avert you tearful sight from and to the driver's concerned gaze as you send a small forced smile his way, meekly stating,

"I don't have any cash on me, but I'm dying in 30 days. You'll let me ride, won't you sir?"

You remember that eventful day, exactly five days ago, one hundred and twenty hours since you had avoided any association with Jimin.

He's contacted you endlessly, knocked on your door several times and even stayed outside your apartment overnight during one weekend, and each time you had luckily spent it over at your brother's. The times he went there though, you were gone and so was Namjoon, leaving him calling out to your brother’s empty studio apartment.

Five days without fits of vicious coughing, yet five days without him.

Is that the sacrifice you have to make to be healthy?

Then, would that be the sacrifice you'd have to make to live?

"Jimin called me."

"AH- Kamchakya!" Your thoughts are finally cut off as you jump at the sound of both your brother's voice and the slam of the door. Stumbling backwards, you barely get the chance to hold your balance as your hand clutches your clothed chest, visibly startled at your brother's sudden presence.

Namjoon had entered your apartment nonchalantly as he shut the door close behind him with no more than a small smack, yet his strength effects the opposite of what is intended.

Eyes widened, you attempt to catch your loss of breath before bending down completely, hands now placed on both knees, "Joon what the hell?! You couldn't have knocked?" Turning aside, you conquest onto throwing the first thing you could find at the genius which he opposingly catches without a beat, throwing the tablecloth right back at you easily as he takes small steps forward, mumbling a small apology afore repeating his previous words, "Sorry. Jimin called me. For the tenth time in five days, may I add."

Rolling your eyes at his bluntness, you contrastingly fail to catch what you once threw as you walk a couple steps back, grabbing the now dirty item and attempting to hide the way your chest tightened by the mere mention of Jimin's name.

"Jimin called you. Congratulations. Would you like an award, big foot?" You joke accordingly.

Now stood up in the kitchen, Namjoon leads on to making himself at home through the means of providing himself something to eat, attempting to hide a small smile dragging its way onto his face out of gladness in finding that his little sister is not letting some pathetic disease affect her overall personality.

"Big foot? That's a new one." Reaching for the bread and peanut-butter, he calmly makes himself a sandwich, as that is the only food he can prepare without failure, all the while strategically conversing in a serious talk with you, "But don't play dumb with me, y/n. You know Jimin and I aren't on good terms right now. Since..." Namjoon trails off, wanting to obviously avoid the topic of your illness.

You sigh, chest heaving as this doesn't go unnoticed by you, of course. Yet not wanting to go down that path in the early morning either, you choose to passively ignore the way he quickly averted his eyes away from you and let him continue.

Clearing his throat surreptitiously, Namjoon proceeds to act indifferent towards the newly formed tension, "-anyway, he and I aren't okay yet but he's still called me for the tenth time, and I finally answered. You're telling me you aren't even a tiny bit curious on what Jimin and I spoke about?"

You've now sat yourself on the kitchen counter, careful not to hit your head on the overtops as you habitually clean up the mess your older brother had habitually started on creating, "I'm not curious, Joonie, because I don't need to ask."

"Mhm, is that so?" Namjoon turns around to look at you, his head somewhat tilted sideways as he proceeds to happily munch away his sloppy and disgusting-looking meal, "You already know what he said then?"

Neatly putting away all the ingredients of which your brother has taken out, you begin to shift in your spot as you look down at your now wobbling feet which you noticed have too begun to unconsciously shift and play with one-another.

You respond hesitantly, letting out another sigh, "Probably asking how I'm doing? Telling you to say sorry to me for him? A bunch of sappy stuff, I bet. He didn't even do anything wrong."

Smiling every so slightly, Namjoon nods his head meekly as he makes his way to the fridge in order to grab some water, throwing his sandwich in the trash bin in the process, "Yeah.." he pauses before chuckling softly, "-that's our Jimin.. Holy shit that sandwich was fucking disgusting by the way. Aish-" He curses before pouring some of the cool liquid on a glass and desperately chugging it down, tears forming around his eyes as he scoffs in distaste.

Confused and surprised, you check to see the bread if its begun to form any mold, which you find none.

"Huh, I wonder why. The bread is good." You say just before stepping off of the counter carefully, "-can't believe you managed to fuck up a sandwich, Joon. You really do suck at cooking, don't you? Well I guess, food in general." You addingly joke, which Namjoon, in contrast, takes complete and total offense to.

Yet just as he is about to bark back at you with a Nobel Prize winning poetic insult, you unintentionally proceed, therefore cutting him off.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to leave you the recipes of your favorites before I leave, okay?"

Smiling at him innocently, you find no flaw in your choice of words, making your brother's heart ache without warning as you look up at him with a tilted head.

"I know how much you love my cooking anyway, no matter how many times you claim that you don't." You laugh lightheartedly, "I might forget though, since I forget everything- but hey, Jimin cooks a little bit too, so just go to him whenever you miss my cooking, yeah? I know you guys fight a lot but please try not to once I'm g- mph!"

Pausing, your voice is unexpectedly muffled as your lips come in sudden contact with your brother's shoulder, completely quieting you down.

Taking a moment to fully comprehend such an unforeseen situation, it wins a small while for you to come to notice that he has completely submerged yourself in a tight embrace, both arms wrapped around your waist as his chin is placed right on top of your head.

You didn't know how to react.

It is without a doubt that you and Namjoon are close, don't get this wrong. And furthermore are there the endless comforting shoulder rubs and thoughtful words of advice from time to time, but a hug? A hug is usually where the two of you draw the line, both finding an unspoken mutual perspective on personal space.

So to find yourself in his position, with both your hands up in the air by the side of his waists as you remain frozen from the abrupt fright, you remain still, the only thought being in your head is how the last time that the two of you practically hugged this long was back from your parents' passing.

That being thirteen years ago.

Namjoon, on the other hand, does not give a flying fuck as he feels nothing but yearn for you. Your previous words has caused something inside of him to trigger and suddenly feel a certain lack of your warmth and existence, which he hates.

Don't worry, I'll make sure to leave you the recipes of your favorites before I leave, okay?

That's exactly what you had just said.

-please try not to once I'm gone.

You would have added.

His mind is in disarray, his medicinal IQ of 148 fading into an 8 as his thoughts are gathered in shambles, trying so desperately to rid of the now forming vision of a future without your not-so-bad-but-not-good-either cooking, a future without your Namjoon please get a liscense nagging, a future without your unbearable teasing, a future without-

a future without you.

How could he wake up to a future that's missing his little sister?

Namjoon is an orphan now. You both have been for thirteen years. The orphaned doctor, he would sometimes call himself.

And thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor swore as he looked upon his parents' opened casket for the last time that he will never abandon his sister. Thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor cried as he smiled against the clear plastic on his dead mother's pale box, swearing under oath that he could never let an accident take his sister away too. Thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor choked back tears as his hands leave prints against the plastic of his father's case, promising to keep the strength he trusts his dad would have asked of him to endure. Thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor painfully smiled as he kneeled down and looked at you, your black gloves of mourning beginning to dampen as stains become visible from your attempts of wiping away your brother’s tears.

Thirteen years ago, Namjoon mentally vowed in his deceased father and mother's name to always prioritize you first, determined in a future of being his little sister’s hero as he lastly placed a bouquet of soft pink camellia flowers on top of his parents' shared grave, squeezing your smaller hand intertwined with his.

Thirteen years ago, he was only thirteen, yet he had been the father and the mother and the brother his eight-year old sister needed.

Namjoon didn’t realize when he started crying.

At this point, the both of you are now on the floor, the age difference having been confusing as you are the one cradling you older brother tenderly.

Your once frozen hands are now soft and delicately wrapped around his back, rubbing in circular motions as you mouth words of comfort against his ear. Dampness could be felt on your shoulder down to your chest as your brother maneuvers while sobbing silently, head now seemingly permanent on the base of your neck.

Does being sick always come with scenes like this? You think to yourself.

"Shh, Joon. C'mon it's okay. Shh, it's alright," You coo softly, your own tears subsiding as you don't care of much other than your brother's current distress, "Joonie, c'mon. Seeing you like this is breaking my heart."

Okay scratch that, your tears aren't subsiding, they're sliding.

"Joonie..." You whisper softly yet desperately, wanting nothing more than to console your brother ever so leniently, "-please stop crying."

Suddenly, you feel Namjoon halt as he abruptly pushes away from you at an arms length, hands holding both sides of your shoulder as his reddened eyes direct yours before making the suggestion,

"Get the surgery."

Truly, that was not the right time to bring up the surgery, of this Namjoon is certain.

And to be honest, he doesn't even have a clue whether there is a right time to bring up the surgery. But he's become overwhelmed and desperate, wanting nothing more than to guarantee your life be saved. So although the timing doesn't match, he allows the situation to happen and chooses to not take back his previous words, instead facing whatever you decide to let on. Fate shall take its course.

Caught aback, you look at your brother bewilderedly, "What?"

"Get the surgery, y/n." He sniffingly repeats, nose still red and mouth still dry from his previous and still cooling breakdown.

"What are you talking about, Joon?” You smile slightly, eyebrows knitted and confused. “What surgery?"

"y/n," Namjoon begins, voice short and desperate, "I told you about this, didn't I? I was training for medicine a few years ago, yeah? I was an intern volunteering. My superior's patient had the disease, th- the Hanahaki disease, right?" Namjoon speaks relentlessly as he becomes breathless, looking slightly crazy as he rambles over a particular memory which you have no recollection of discussing with him.

"His name was Jung Hoseok, one of the first ten Hanahaki surgery recipients. He survived, y/n. The surgery was a complete success. He's alive even to now and I also still have his contact saved in my phone. Look-"

"Wait wait wait," You shake your head, hands coming to stop his phone-reaching hands all the while trying to process the vast information suddenly provided, "-the Hanahaki surgery? The surgery you did a Science project on that I helped you with during your senior high school year? F-flower Chowder? The Flower Power?" You finish, grinning at the newly found memory yet just moments before frowning entirely,

"Joon, you're telling me to get the Flower Power?"

Namjoon inhales a short intake of breath as he looks down and shuts his eyes, dreading the soon-to-be-happening conversation, "I know this seems crazy but-"

"Yeah no shit, it's crazy."

"Just hear me out oka-"

"This is really bat-shit off the walls crazy, Kim Namjoon!"

"-it's medicine, y/n. It's not really crazy-"

"medicine. my. ass."

"-it's been successful each time it was performed, and-"

"Joon just stop it!"

"-it's the only way to save your damn life!"

With wide eyes you blankingly stare at him, scoffing in disbelief at his sudden raise of voice, "Save my life? Then what? I go to live like a fucking robot for all eternity? Lose all my emotions and live as some kind of cyborg? We aren't in a fucking sci-fi movie, Joon!"

Processing your words, Namjoon does understand your point; but he's become helpless, the helplessness making him reckless, the recklessness making him desperate, and the desperation leaving no room for understanding your point, "A robot is still alive, y/n."

All in all, a reckless mess.

"A robot is still al- what?! Joon, are you hearing yourself?" You speak incredulously.

No, truth to be told, Namjoon is not hearing himself.

"I don't know what you think this, but I am not about to turn into some kind of sim with no feelings. Both you and I know that I would rather die as I live than live as I exist to be nothing more than just that, existing." You speak threateningly, "Don't you ever make me go through that, Joon. Not even as a last resort and not even when I'm not awake anymore to defend my point."

Holding up your right pinky finger, you raise your eyebrows, staring at him expectantly, "Promise me."

Namjoon glances down at your raised finger, jaw clenched and gaze hesitant. Yet just as he proceeds to reach forward in order to seal the deal, he speaks one last time, defeated, "And what if it is the last resort, y/n?"

You look at him, eyes downcast as you begin to subconsciously lower your hand as he continues, "What if you're moments away from leaving me? What do I do? Do I just let you die? Do you really expect me to just let you die even wh- when there's an option to take where you can live?" Namjoon is breathless as he speaks, voice desperate in convincing you.

Sighing, you lower your head slightly, "Joon, I already told you that I'm okay. I'm ready. I've accepted it-"

"But I haven't." Namjoon cuts you off, his words serving a stab at your heart.

"I haven't accepted it. I won't accept it." He takes hold of both your hands, lowering his height so that the two of you are on same eye level afore smiling sadly, "I've lost both our parents, y/n. I've accepted that. I've lived with that. But you can't ask me to accept losing you either because I don't think I'll be able to keep myself sane without you around. I need you, y/n. You're my sister, my anchor, God, you're my lifeline. You've kept me going for these past thirteen years, and I love you. I love you so so so so much, nae yeodongsaeng." He finishes, your heart crumbling at the sight of his flooding eyes.

"And I'm sorry if this is somewhat unfair to you, but please." Namjoons cries out, voice barely above a whisper as he sheds diring tears, "-please choose to try. Choose to try to live.

-If not for you, please do it for me."

"Fuck you Namjoon." You curse mutteringly, voice low and steady as you stand in front of Jimin's door for the past ten minutes.

You twist and turn like a little child as you curse mentally, feeling dread throughout your entire physicality and not at all wanting to continue with your plan. Nonetheless, you remind yourself of your brother's desperation and of your reasons for doing this.

For your brother, you cheer on.

"Okay. Okay! I can do this." You jump up and down, feet bouncing lightly against the hard ground, repeating the same phrase over and over again, "I can do this."

Turning to knock, your mind then suddenly flushes with dread as you subconsciously retreat back to your car, hands waving frantically around, "I can't do this."

"y/n?"

You freeze.

Fuck.

Hands still amidst the air, you stay still, unbelieving of the situation.

"y/n? What are you- is that you? Am I seeing shit right now?" He mumbles the last words to himself, which he silently thanks goes unbeknownst to you as you stay frozen, feet glued onto the ground and heart beating out of your chest at the familiar sound of his voice.

Hesitating, you muster up the determination to slowly turn around.

Your throat tightens once more all the while your heart contrastingly does backflips as you physically see him for the first time since five days and-or one hundred and twenty hours and-or a very painful long time for someone who's in love with someone.

"Hey, Chim." You meekly call out, trying to hide the anxiety creeping in within you.

Jimin, still processing your presence after countless failure of trying to see you, steps forward lightly, eyebrows furrowed as he evidently attempts to figure out the right words to say, "Hey."

"Hey." You wince as you attempt a grin.

Jimin's lips form a tight smile, "Hey."

.

.

.

Shit, this is so awkward.

The thought enters the both of your minds as a seemingly unprecedented tumbleweed passes by.

Clearing your throat, you notice the way Jimin looks down at his fiddling thumbs and curious little pinkies as you speak out once more, trying to ease the visible tension, "So are you going to invite me in or what?" You laugh breathily, chest heaving up and down in desperation of holding in those God-awful petals.

Jimin looks up at you with wide eyes, breathing a sigh of relief as he nods his head repeatedly, "Right- right! Yeah come in. This is your home too, you know." He speaks as he holds out his keys and turn to unlock his door, not noticing the way you've weakened among with the just fallen petal that silently wisped past your lips.

This is your home too, you know.

It's insane how such light words could make a person feel so lost and contracted.

Seven simple words that were spoken without a thought have you in a dazed mentality, hand tighteningly gripping your clothed heart before faking a positive expression as he turns around to face you.

"You can head inside first." Jimin shows that beautiful smile, moving aside as he lays his hand out in the direction of his now opened abode.

You only nod in return as you waste no time in entering, mumbling a small 'thanks chim' as you pass by.

He then follows soon after, set and determined on making you feel at home as he steps forward.

Yet a sight goes inevitable as your head spins around a moment barely passing as you enter his home, catching the vision of Jimin accidentally stepping on the camellia flower, the fragment that symbolizes your unrequited love, your pain, which lay on the timid ground, cracking it in half.

It seems the universe really is telling you something.

You ponder to yourself as you gaze wanderingly, the now torn petal not leaving your sight.

Smiling ironically, the formidable occurence somehow boosts your acceptance of the situation at hand as you make your way to the sofa, speaking aloud even more so formidable words, "We need to talk, Jimin."

Just moments before sitting down, Jimin remains still, eyes glazing at you directly for a second before gathering himself and proceeding to act indifferent, "Of course."

Jimin. He thinks.

Not chim, Jimin.

"Jimin I-"

"No please-" Jimin cuts you off as you begin to speak, "Please let me say first what I've been keeping inside for this past week of being avoided by you."

You didn't know whether you were supposed to take offense or not, yet nonetheless you decide

"-just wanted to let you know that I'm getting surgery."

I can't believe she's calling me Ji- "What?"

You smile empathetically, "I'm getting surgery, Jimin."

part 3, maybe?

taglist: @itsdingdong @honeyd99 @010op10 @chubsjmin @outropjmm @nynhope

when the camellia blooms | pjm

park jimin x kim! reader | 1 | 2

sypnosis: diagnosed with the hanahaki disease, you had only two options - accept a deathly fate, or never love again. 

genre: au, angst, fluff, humor, friends to lovers? maybe.

warnings: many talks of death and dying, minor character death, pain, unrequited love, swearing, talks of past sexual experience while intoxicated, pining, longing, really sad reader, and lots of angst.

word count: 7.2 k

"you would die for her, for him."

"You're dying."

The two words escape past his lips steadily and breathily as your widening eyes linger on the way his hands fiddle with one another out of habit. He sighs deeply and resists the urge to avoid screaming at you and maintain eye contact out of professionalism, pushing back his slipping glasses.

"At this rate, you won't have any more than a month. Had you told me this sooner, y/n, the results wouldn't have been as scarce. But because you waited after almost a year of this, I'm afraid there's not much to do." He pushes his desk lightly to pull away from it, creating a mere distance between himself and the papers which finalized your future's passing. Reaching his collar, he tugs on his tie to loosen it before unbuttoning the first stitch as he looks at you with seemingly stray and angered eyes mixed with sympathy.

Suddenly, his sight wanders the room as he shakes his head repeatedly, scoffing in disbelief. He then smiles, dimples prominent, lip tightened, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes broken, piercing straight at its target - that being you.

Standing up, he takes off his glasses and slams his fist onto the chair's arm rest before running a hand across his hair, softly hissing.

The professionalism is now out of the drain, "You're an idiot, y/n."

"Fucking stupid. How could you not- I mean- how could you not tell me? I'm your brother! We're family. Blood. We're supposed to- we're supposed to tell each other these things and you just fucking- you kept it to yourself all these months! Ten months! And now I'm sitting here being the one to tell you that you're dying? That you're leaving me? I would've done something. I would've helped you, I- I would've killed whoever this person you're in love with is. y/n, please- I just-"

You don't know why, but you felt exhausted.

The ringing in your ears is deafening. Truthfully, you hadn't heard a single thing the minute you received news that you'll be, well, passing away. Not to mention, within 30 days time.

It's not as if you didn't already know about your condition, of course you did. Coughing soft pink camellia flowers every time you see the man that's brought you here is not exactly something that just simply passes a blind eye. You sense it, you feel it, and it hurts.

It really, really hurts.

You also felt awful for your brother. You hadn't meant for it to go this far. You didn't mean to not tell him. You didn't want your assigned doctor to suddenly call in sick and have your brother temporarily take his place. You didn't mean for him to find out this way - such a twisted, horrible fucking way, but here you are.

"I'm sorry, Joon. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to go this far. I just-"

"Were you ever even going to tell me?" He cuts you off, voice low and steady, almost afraid of your coming response.

Your eyes locate his across the cramped room, and one could clearly tell that it's striving its hardest to fight against desperate tears.

"I- yes, Joon. I was. Of course I was. I was gonna do it after this check in actually, but I guess God wanted you to find out sooner than I intended, though He could've just waited a little while longer and it would've been fine." You joke whisperingly, the heavy weight of your heart lightening just a small bit when you notice the corners of his lips twitch and his eyes faintly soften.

Regrettably, that was a lie. You didn’t plan on telling him, not today at least. Maybe not even ever.

The softening air lasts for only a second as his following question makes you hold back the urge to cough up another camellia flower slowly blooming its way to your throat.

"Who is it?"

Genuine, concerned, curious. These were all that he was.

But noticing the way your body went entirely rigid at his words and the way your hand clutched your clothed chest in attempt to shut down what you know will happen next, Namjoon's brotherly instincts causes him to naturally make his way towards you softly, taking small and careful strides towards your fragile state.

And once he's finally reached you, he gets on his knees gently in order for him to be of nearing same height level as you're sitting down, his hands rubbing the back of your hand in a comforting manner.

He does this all before pulling the trigger.

"Who are you in love with, y/n?"

two years back

"Jimin!"

You call out your brother's best friend loudly, who is currently in the midst of doing a one-man stage play in front of the mirror, "Joon's saying you guys need to get going now. Says he has a patient in two hours and wants to go over all sorts of documents before treating her."

Turning around, you scan the living room and dining room for the keys of your friend's car as your brother also asked you to hand them to him since the two always end up on forgetting it until they've already reached the car parked across your apartment's block.

You hear Jimin shuffle behind you, "Really? He wants to go over documents at- 9 AM in the morning?"

Smiling at his attempts of complaint, you nod your head softly in order to play along and answer his rhetorical question, "He really needs to learn how to drive doesn't he? Since he's dragging you along everywhere he goes."

Jimin laughs at your statement, which being an opinion, your brother would argue, 'driving isn't a necessary aspect of life.' But who really thinks like that? Oh right, non-drivers.

“I guess he’s getting too caught up in learning medicine that he forgot to learn how to officially become an adult.” Reaching above the kitchen top, you finally found sight of Jimin's car keys.

How did it even get up there? You think to yourself. It's really high up, so Namjoon must've been the one to leave it as to where it is.

You groan slightly, "Joon, can you get over here! I found Chim's keys but it's too far up high so I can't reach it. Hell I don't even think he can reach this-"

You are cut off when you feel a hand sneak around your waist, making you flinch and suddenly spin cautiously.

Eyes widened. Lips parted. Breath hitched. You let out an inaudible gasp as you come to the realization that Jimin is now in front of you, head tilted with an amused smile on his face, "Excuse you? I can very much reach this." He says, all the while reaching up behind you, inchly leaning forward. At this point, your body is being pressed up against the kitchen counter and his oh-so-very toned front.

This small action is enough to instigate a flaming abyss inside of you as you very much attempt to calm your alarmed heart.

You can feel the cuts and lines of his abs against your chest as he is now standing on his tippy toes, desperately trying to reach the keys on the kitchen top. Anyone that could see his posture would call him adorable, but your body is currently being sandwiched and by all that is high and mighty your mind can't even really process a single thing. Wait, what were you thinking just now?

"See? Got it." Jimin falls back in place as he jiggles his car keys in front of your stone-cold face, smile wide as he giggles softly, "Piece of cake, y/n."

He then proceeds to move on with his life like he didn't just do what the fuck he just did.

Clearing your throat, you blink about a million times in order to gather your thoughts. Your heartbeat is racing faster than the speed of light and your lips have become as dry as a desert. If you had gone standing on your tippy toes just as he did, you would've been a baby hair away from lips touching. The thought is enough to make you grow weak.

Yet as if something inside of you is suddenly turned on, no pun intended, you remind yourself that these thoughts are wrong. You can't be having these apprehensions, they aren't right. Because not only is he your brother's best friend, he also has a-

"y/n?" Jimin's soft voice calls out your name.

Breaking out of your trance, you turn to see him sitting down on the dining table, head tilted downwards with a small smile on his face. The sun escapes your pastel curtains as it slips past the window sill, reasoning with the current ray of golden yellow that has found its home on Jimin’s plump cheek, shining on the left side of his luminous face.

It's absolutely senseless how he can look as beautiful as he does simply by existing, and it makes perfect sense that your finding yourself to liking him more and more.

Just look at him.

You are broken out of your enchanted daze once more as dreaded words leave his smiling lips, "I'm gonna ask her to marry me."

Only then were you brought back to your inadequate reality.

“W- what?” You attempt to speak, but you notice the way your voice has suddenly become noticeably hoarse.

Jimin looks up at you with a smile, the kind that has his eyes almost disappearing.

“Sung. I’m gonna ask her to marry me tonight.”

silence.

silence.

and more silence.

Like a coward, that was all what you could muster to respond with.

And only then did you notice the velvet box on his hands, upon which he is tenderly caressing. Only then did you recognize the questionable romantic script of his one-man stage just moments earlier. Only then did you realize that the reason behind his growing smile are because of her, not you. Not because of what had just taken place.

Only then did you remember that no, you can't be having these apprehensions - they aren't right.

Because not only is he your brother's best friend,

he also has a, now upcoming, fiancé.

present time

"I already loved him then, Joon."

By this time, your brother has stood up and begun pacing back and forth the modest office, murmurs of curses towards his friend escaping past his lips, "-that small son of a bitch."

Smiling softly, you look down in reminiscence of the moments you have spent falling for Jimin. "I guess I've always been infatuated with him ever since our first meeting, but my God Joonie," you pause, inhaling a short breath in attempt to stop tears threatening to spill. "-ever since that day, when he told me that he was going to propose to her, I finally realized that like was the wrong term to use. I realized that I loved him and I just- I lost sight of everything." You cry, small sobs coming from you as you blinkingly look up to try to contain the waters forming in your eyes.

It was true. That day, when he told you about his plans to ask her to marry him, you've never felt more indignant.

Of course you faked it at first, congratulated him and consoled him into truthfully believing that she will undoubtedly say yes. But the minute he and Namjoon left your apartment, you collapsed on your carpeted floors, sobbing loudly and hitting your chest repetitively all the while cursing yourself in your head for ever even considering the tiniest of possibilities that you and Jimin could ever happen.

You also went out that night, got drunk, found a guy, slept with him, and never looked back.

Sure, this may seem like a regular night out for many, but not being the type to kiss and sleep, sex meant a lot to you.

Nothing wrong with one night stands, that just wasn't your particular chosen lifestyle. But you were wasted. You were intoxicated. You didn't know what you were doing. Had you been sober, you wouldn't have done what you did, especially with the person you did it with. So when you woke up in the middle of the night naked in bed next to a familiar face and realized what you've done, you rushingly stood up, got dressed, and left, ignoring the calls of the man you had just been with.

You went straight home and washed yourself for hours, feeling dirty and sloppy and disgusting. You can easily recollect sitting down in the showers, head tucked underneath and in between your legs, sobbing and crying loudly as the steam surrounding you from the warm water kept on worsening.

You hated what you did, and you most definitely despised the reason for what you did, - to simply get over someone else. You felt guilty. You felt ashamed. What would Jimin think? You thought to yourself. And though that truly didn't really matter, the ache in your heart kept on making you believe otherwise.

You didn't notice how your tears have fallen and stained your newly-bought jeans until Namjoon's hands holding a napkin comes within your perception.

Mumbling a small 'sorry Joonie,' you accept his offer and wipe the tears still continuously streaming down your now reddened, warm, and puffy face. As you do this, you furthermore catch sight of your brother's shadow rubbing his face in frustration, matching the groans that you also hear release from him in the background. And without meaning so, you deflate in insecurity.

Hearing the sound of air being released from a pulling force, you look up to see that Namjoon has sat back down, his elbows resting on the desk while his chin rest on his hands. "Does he know about this, y/n?"

You sigh, "No."

"Are you going to tell him?" You hear him ask once more.

Closing your eyes and sniffing lightly, you inhale a steady breath as you answer him for the second time, "I don't know, Joon."

Namjoon looks at you, eyes full of worry and concern. You don't know?

You're his sister, and he loves you. He would do anything for you. If he could shower you with all the love that you lack from Jimin, he would. And he would do it in a heartbeat. But you're dying. You're leaving him. And he doesn't know what to think. He doesn't know what to do. So how could you not know? How could you sit here, in front of him, after keeping this shit for ten months to yourself, tell him that you just don't know?

He feels frustrated. Frustrated over the clearing fact that if you don't know the answer to that simple yes or no question, then how more could you know the answer to when he asks you to make the choice?

The choice - to love or to die.

A very careful, unprecedented surgery that has been performed by professionals only a few times, yet each one has been successful. This seems easy, yeah. A surgery to save your life? Of course you'll do it! But there's a reason as to why this has been done only by a certain small count.

To perform the surgery and live, the price is not the expense, but rather the loneliness that shall come as you spend the rest of your life void of emotions. The surgery doesn't get rid of love on its own, it gets rid of everything that comes with it - happiness, sadness, trust, pain, pretty much everything that one can possibly feel. The only emotion left is indifference, yet even indifference lacks its self-sustainability.

Who would want to live like that?

Who would want to live a life where you just simply exist and nothing more?

He knows that the day will come eventually - when he offers you the choice, the chance to save your life, and he knows it will come soon. But right now, he has chosen to prioritize being a brother over a doctor. Right now, the only thing in his mind is comforting you.

"Okay." Your brother nods, making your eyes widen slightly in shock.

Okay? No scolding? No 'how could you not know?!' older brother reprimands? But then you remember, oh yeah. You're dying. And who could possibly scold their dying little sister?

"I'm sorry Joonie-" You try to apologize once more before he cuts you off again.

"No, don't apologize, y/n. It's not like you could've possibly wanted for any of this to happen, yeah?" He offers you a smile, but you could easily see past its fabricated purpose, "But instead let me ask you this. And I need you, in our deceased parent's name, to be completely honest with me."

You only nod, completely submissive and understanding of his seriousness the moment that he mentioned your passed parents.

"What you just told me, when you first fell in love with him, that was two years ago." He starts, making you nod again in agreement.

"But you were diagnosed only ten months ago."

Your heart drops, and you don't nod again.

"The Hanahaki Disease is not something that gradually begins and comes to existence over the course of time. It is an illness that is triggered. It could be by a sudden forthcoming realization or proclamation of love, or by an event that triggers the heart to completely shut down in overwhelmth. Either way, basing on the timing of what you've said, you should've been diagnosed with the Hanahaki two years ago. But you weren't."

Namjoon eyes you questioningly, but not too much to the extent that you feel uncomfortable, only just enough to remind you of the importance of this conversation, "You were only diagnosed ten months ago, y/n. Why?"

You sit still, not wanting to move, as if your stone figure would somehow make him think that you're not real or that you're a simple figment of his messed up imagination.

"y/n, what happened ten months ago?"

He finishes his question and you swallow harshly only to realize that you're parched, your throat completely dry. You then tilt your head to steal a gaze at your brother, making you catch the way his eyes suddenly widened as if he just realized something of high importance. As if he had just realized the answer to his own question. And that didn't work with you.

Clearing your throat, you are about to answer him in order to cut off his thoughts until the door swings open and you feel your throat compact, - the coughs of a camellia flower slipping its way to visibility -because there he is,

the man of the hour.

"y/n." He noticeably breathes a sigh of relief before making his way to you, engulfing you in a giant embrace. "I was so worried about you. Why didn't you tell me you had the Hanahaki? How could you not let me know? How long have you had it? Who is it? I swear I'm going to murder whoever this piece of shit is that he dared ever making yo-"

"Jimin this is a professional space between a doctor and his patient." The two of you pull away almost exactly the same time as soon as Namjoon speaks up, Jimin's eyebrows furrowing, "Get out."

"What?" Jimin barely gather the voice to ask him as he is completely caught off guard of his friend's erupting vulgar attitude.

"I said-" Namjoon speaks before getting caught off again.

"No trust me, I heard what you said. But what?" Jimin repeats himself, "So you're telling me you're not prioritizing being y/n's brother right now? You're still caught up in this Doctor Kim bullshit? Like you're a real one?"

"Jimin-" You attempt to budge in, sensing that a certain trouble may suddenly come knocking.

"No, y/n. Listen hyung-"

"No, YOU listen. You small piece of shit." Your brother raises his voice, "-don't come barging in here like you own the place or like you have any authority over her. She is MY sister and this is a family matter. So it's best you stay out of it and keep in your lane."

At this point, Namjoon is in front of Jimin, a short distance separating the two of them, "And don't you ever dare speak to me in that tone again. I know you're my friend, but remember to treat me with respect. Not only am I your superior, but I'm also your hyung." He finishes with a serious voice, tone low, and message deep. His earnest eyes piercing through his friend's pained ones.

Jimin, mouth slightly agape being at loss for words and clearly confused at his close friend's unreasonable anger, storms out of the room.

But not before he drags you along with him.

Namjoon is quick to act as he tries to reach for you, but you turn back and look at him pleadingly, signaling him that it's okay and to not worry. And him being the understanding brother that he is, pulls back and holds himself steady.

You can handle him. You’re a Kim. You’re strong.

Strong enough to survive through this.

You’ll be okay.

And as he watches the two of you leave, the door closing shut right in front of him, only then does reality hit Namjoon as his legs tremble abruptly, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden.

Falling down the floor, he reaches onto the desk for assistance as he slides his back down the wooden wall, hands painfully fisted and finding its way to cover his mouth in order to muffle the choked-in sobs perilously escaping him. He proceeds to blink away the tears and bite harshly on his lips, trying to diminish the flourishing grievance in his heart.

His sister is dying, and he doesn't know what to do.

“Doctor Kim? The next patient is ready to see you.” A knocking nurse distracts him and calls out from behind the door, “-shall I send them in?”

Namjoon sniffs heavily and sighs deeply, rushingly grabbing his glasses and adjusting his emotionally wrecked state, “One moment!”

He lets out a soft, shaky breath and reminds himself once more that you’re a Kim.

You’re strong.

You can beat this.

It'll be alright.

You'll be okay.

"IM NOT OKAY JIMIN-SHI!" You voicely whine out to your friend who is currently dragging you along the halls of the hospital and out the technologically advanced glass doors, "What is wrong with you?!" You pull your arm aggressively from his grasp as you bend down, hands resting on your knees while you hastily try to catch your breath. The camellia flower stuck just along the chords of your throat making it very difficult.

Jimin stares at you worryingly, having forgotten of your illness, "O- oh no. y/n, I'm sorry I forgot I- are you okay? Should we go back?" He stutters in concern before you hold up one finger, signaling him to shut the hell up. "-sorry."

Looking at you like this, tired and exhausted from having to put up with all his bullshit, Jimin feels a sudden urge to reach out and embrace you tightly, almost forgetting of his previous encounter with your brother.

And so that's exactly what he does.

You are caught off guard the moment you feel a hand grab your shoulder by means of pulling you closer all the while another rests just at your crook of spine, and although this first makes you stumble in a not-so-very prettily way, your destination is found to be in your friend's embrace, his fragile yet protective arms wrapped around you securely.

Not letting this moment simply pass by, you let yourself melt in his arms as you find the comfort meant to be found in his comforting hug, wrapping your arms around his neck as you slightly stand on your tippy toes. Somehow, your simple action makes him pull you even closer, one hand creeping behind your neck all the while his other is completely wrapped around your waist although this time is tighter than before.

As the two of you stay like this in the middle of the sliding glass doors of the hospital, crowds of unfamiliar voices passing by you and ambulances ringing endlessly against your ear, you let yourself submerge within the passion of your heart.

Amidst the chaos and cries of your nearingly counted days, you find consolation in the arms of the same man that has put you in front of death's door, and quite frankly, you wouldn't really want it any other way. You'll take what is given by the heavens above when it comes to Jimin, because well- you love him.

Unfortunately, that quick and simple thought is enough to make you lose control of your reminded disease.

"y-y/n what's- are you okay?" Jimin pulls away from you abruptly as you break into coughing fits, pastel pink camellia blossoms escaping your trembling lips.

The sight has caught the attention of many civilians, but both you and Jimin remain to be indifferent about them as you or more or less are occupied with your illness all the while Jimin specifically aims his attention on you alone.

"Alright that's it, screw your brother alright?" Jimin exclaims a bit louder than what you're comfortable with as this obviously did not benefit with the proceedingly growing public focus on the two of you, "-we're going back, y/n, it's my fault for bringing you outside so suddenly-"

"No chim, please-" You roughly attempt to speak out, your throat painfully extracting the feeling of abrasiveness, "Please just- let's just go."

"y/n.."

“Please chim,” you cut him off for what seemed to be the fiftieth time, coughing, “-please. I don’t want to be here any longer.”

Hesistant yet concerned, Jimin nods slowly as he assists your side, his hands finding its home around your waist and lower back while you both take short and careful strides. You destination is still unknown, but you didn’t mind. A journey a day with someone you love has never turned out for the worse.

At least that's what you think.

"Really?" You roll your eyes as you notice the familiar lane that Jimin's car just entered, "I asked you to get me out of the hospital area, I didn't ask for a sleepover, Jimin." You jokingly accuse him, but you can't help the smile that makes its way on your puffed-up face as you notice him smoothly take a side-glance at you with a knowing smirk.

"Well I thought that with all that bad hospital air, you might've wanted to breathe in a familiar scent," Jimin responds as the car comes to a stop.

You turn slightly to open the door and step out before you here a meek, "Jankkanman!" and perceive a 5'9 in height blondie come running around the bonnet in order to open the car door for you as a gentleman would. It is such a sweet and casual pantomime, yet an ill-patient diagnosed with an illness of the heart can never bring you any wins. Consequently, his actions only causes your throat to feel strained and compacted for the endless time.

God, how much did you love this man that such a simple gesture makes you want to cough out countless of fully bloomed flowers?

You thank the heavens above for your past endless experiences that allowed you to now be better in terms of hiding your pain as you attempt to smile genuinely, mumbling a small "thank you" in the process before making your way inside his home.

"So," Jimin starts as the two of you plop down his couch, his eyes seeking for yours as he tilts his head ever so lightly, "what should we do today... now that you're out of that hell hole?"

"Chim!" You scold him lightly, "my brother and your best friend just happens to be working in that hell hole, just in case you forgot, and- hey! You work there too, you ass." You accusingly point at him all the while hitting his arm playfully.

Jimin is was a nurse in that hospital. Your brother is a doctor.

He laughs and smiles widely, "Nope. I don't work there anymore, remember? But I did for a while, which is why I can most definitely testify that that place is indeed, a hell hole. And by the way, I'm kind of offended that you pretty much forgot my lost profession just then, y/n, like what the fuck?" He jokes endingly.

Your eyes soften slightly as he mentions his lack of job, yet you still stubbornly choose to ignore his last remark. "Well I sure hope that's not the case since I'll be most likely spending my last days there."

Oops.

The silence that ensues goes inevitably noticed by the two of you the moment those words escaped past your lips, but you paid no mind. That was the reason that you asked him to take you away anyways. You weren't hoping for some cliche romantic bullshit where the two of you simply elope and forget your real worries in your life, no. Instead you were here with the main purpose of facing it.

Besides, even if you did want to leave with him, you couldn't. Remember?

Jimin is the first to break the excessive blockade, "Don't say that y/n."

You sigh, "But it's true, chim."

"I don't give a shit if it's true or not."

"Chim.." You are slightly startled with his sudden outburst, caught off guard in the way his voice slightly raised as his attention and body language are now completely directed at you, "Wha- why are you getting mad?"

Jimin scoffs, almost irritated at your oblivious question, "Why? Because you're talking of dying like it's not a big deal, y/n!" His voice getting louder and louder by every word he spits out, "God, you know you can be so fucking insensitive sometimes. What, did you already forget the shit I suffered when I lost someone? Did you already forget all the fucking shit I suffered when death took her from me?"

At the mention of her, you pause. Speechless. Guilty. Hurt.

Of course you remember. How could you not? You remember the darkest of days as like it was just yesterday.

You remember getting that call in the middle of the night from the contact name of your brother as you slightly answered it in an irritated voice, "Joon I swear to God if you're asking me to drive you to work in the middle of the fucking night I will personally drag your ass right now to get a driver's liscenc-"

"y/n?"

You remember immediately stopping as you recognize the voice that most certainly did not belong to your brother, "Chim?"

"y- y/n."

You remember the outbreak of his sobs as you call out to him, his sniffles and cries becoming more and more prominent as you stumble on your feet, struggling with keeping your phone against and in between your ear and your shoulder as you hurryingly take off to grab a jacket and your keys, "Chim what's wrong, where the hell are you? W- where's Joon?"

You remember the way your heart dropped as your worst fear came to mind, the thought of losing your brother itself being enough to make you wobble in your feet, your heart clenching. He had your brother's phone, and he was crying.

"N-no, he- he's fine, y/n. It's not him, hyung's... hyung's fine."

You remember the way he struggled to find the right words; the way he sniffled and stuttered through forming such a simple sentence all the while you on the other side of the line breathe out a sigh of relief at the information of your brother's wellness, yet feeling slightly guilty that your emotions are in contrast with your friend's.

"It's Sung."

You remember Jimin's worst.

"It's Sung, y/n. Sh- she got in an accident on the way here to visit me during my off hours and- fuck! Some fucking demon pulled a hit and run on her. She was walking, y/n. She walked an hour here and got ran over by someone and.. they're doing an operation on her- hyung's assisting and he just- it's bad. It was really bad and she was bleeding all fucking over and- hyung, he- he left his phone and I didn't know what to do so I just called you- I didn't, they pushed me out of the room, y/n. I need you here. Please, please. Please come here because I'm losing my fucking mind and I need you here."

You remember driving to the hospital as careful as you can with the fear of the possibility of an accident occurring still in the midst of the back of your mind.

You remember reaching the doors of the emergency room and being greeted with a pair of reddened and exhausted eyes that looked up the moment you walked in, "Jin."

He stands up to greet you politely but you stop him, obviously seeing that his reaction upon seeing you is no more than a forced delight, "Let's not do this under these circumstances, okay? You're allowed to feel unwelcoming. It's okay, Jin."

He does no more than mumble a small 'thank you' before going back to his previous spot with you trudging along beside him.

You remember feeling the sorrow of the man beside you as you watch him lean his head back against the wall, fragile streaks of tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. You couldn't imagine his pain, the pain of such a situation where your sister's life is at stake. You wanted to comfort him, to softly rub his back and whisper sweet encouragements against his ear, little white lies that his sister is guaranteed to make it without a doubt. But you couldn't. You weren't here for him, regardless of your history. Regardless of the way you left him the morning after your supposed mistake.

"Uhm, have you seen Jimin?"

You remember the way his void eyes find yours and the way his lips lightly upturn as he gives you a forced smirk, trying to keep up with his image of being Kim Seokjin, Kim Sungkyung's handsome and cocky older brother, "And here I was thinking fate brought you here to me, y/n." He trails off, "-considering how you fucked me then dipped."

You gasp slightly and playfully hit his arm at the blunt mention of your regretted one night stand as you give him a small yet genuine smile, partly glad yet at the same time worried that he can make such remarks during a situation like this.

It was strange really, how everything in your life seemed to be connected. How on the day you felt your heart tore apart the time Jimin first mentioned his planned proposal, you went out and accidentally slept with the soon-to-be-bride's older brother.

Letting out a small sigh, Jin nods his head in the direction of a different waiting room, "He left when I came. Guess he was embarrassed of how fucked up he was but hey- I'm not doing any fucking better am I?" He tells you, subtly pointing at the very visible streaks of tears still falling down his now puffy face.

You get on your feet and turn to leave but not before giving one last glance at the man next to you, a hand softly reaching to rub his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Jin. I wish I could stay, but-"

"It's okay, y/n. Go." Jin encourages you with a small yet noticeably forced smile, "He needs you."

And so you do, bidding him a soft goodbye before taking off, your eyes beginning to water out of the guilt of leaving a friend in that state.

You then remember being suffocated. Suffocated from the embrace that greeted you the moment Jimin entered your peripheral vision. You remember landing on your behind with a harsh thud from the struggle of Jimin's weight as he continues to seek your embrace for means of comfort, the two of you falling down the floor. You remember getting drenched from Jimin's tears as you cradle him as would a wailing child, rocking him back and forth all the while softly rubbing his back, whispering every bit of amenity that could make him feel better.

You remember feeling your heart physically ache as you fail to notice the tears that have fallen down your own eyes, blurring your sight.

To see Jimin in this state, so broken and hurt and scared, it tore you apart. You wanted him happy. You wanted him smiling. You wanted him. You loved him. And God forbid that you're admitting this in your own mind while his fiance is battling for her own life, but fuck.

You wanted nothing more than to lay down your own life for Sung so that she could continue in existence for him.

If you could, you would take here place.

You would die for her, for him.

You remember pushing back your thoughts as you put focusing on Jimin your first priority. You remember keeping him in a neverending tight embrace as he neverendingly sobs against your chest, his lips leaving prayers you could barely yet still tried to understand;

please don't let her die

don't take her away from me

i love her too much

i still have to marry her.

You then remember hearing a wail of anguish, putting a pause to both Jimin's silent pleas and your eavesdropping as the both of your heads turn to pinpoint from whom the noise came from.

You remember the way Jimin stilled.

"No."

You remember his whisper of such a small, two-lettered word, yet somehow it caused your heart to crumble.

"No no no no-"

You remember having to tackle Jimin slightly as he causes a mess of himself, punching the seats and harshly tugging on his hair all the while screaming wails of pain and suffering, "Jimin please-"

"No- get the fuck off of me! Sung?!"

You remember how Jimin lost sight of reality as he pushes you off of him, your body making in contact with the cold tiled ground.

"SUNG? SUNG! LET ME INSIDE-"

You remember seeing nurses and other staff pull the man you love back as he causes a scene, starting to become physical and violent with the people surrounding him, "PLEASE! Please- I just- I NEED TO SEE HER! SHES MY FIANCE-"

You remember seeing a man dressed in blue make his way near Jimin, a needle in his hand.

"H-hey, no!" You remember trying to catch up to the nurse, attempting to prevent them from giving whatever the shot was to Jimin, "Stop! Please-"

"y/n. D-don't."

You remember feeling a hand on your shoulder which makes you turn around instantly, only to find the culprit behind the anguished scream just moments prior Jimin's outburst.

"Jin." You start, "-they're going to sedate him. That- that's not okay."

"They have to, y/n." Another voice calls out from behind Jin, "I know how it seems and I don't like it either, b-but he's becoming violent. They have to sedate him."

"Joon." You whisper softly.

What a sick and twisted game that life is playing on you, that your brother, Jimin's best friend, Jimin's best man at the wedding being planned, is the one to give news of the bride's passing.

"Sung, is she really.." You trail off, not having the heart to finish your sentence.

It seems neither does he, as he responds with nothing but a simple avoidance of eye contact.

"HYUNG!"

You remember Jimin's faint and tired yet still firm voice as he calls out your brother, "Hyung, you saved her didn't you? You- you were part of the surgery. You saved her didn't you? Didn't you!?" Jimin is weak as he trails off his words as the effect of the syringe takes its course, but that doesn't stop him from reaching out to the three of you, "H-hyung. Tell me you saved her. P-please tell me you saved h-her."

Namjoon doesn't stop the tear that rolls down his hardened face as he only shakes his head, "I'm sorry, Jimin. We did our best. We really, really did. I'm so sorry-"

You remember the way Namjoon's voice trails off your hearing as your throat suddenly feels contracted. You remember the itching pain just within your chest as you find the struggle to breath, your hand clutching it harshly. You remember stumbling back just a little bit as you feel lightheaded, thinking that these were only from the overwhelming happenings in that moment.

But then you cough.

And you cough

and you cough

and you cough.

But no one notices you.

Not even yourself.

Your attention remains still at Jimin, who has now dropped completely to the floor, tears still continuously spilling out of his drowsy eyes. Short breaths are released from his trembling lips as he mumbles words that none of you can understand. He then begins to seemingly reach out for something, someone.

"P-please," He whispers.

And as you bend down almost immediately to attend to his calls, you cough.

And you cough

and you cough.

And still no one notices.

No one except him.

You cough as your eyes find his, barely open yet staring right at you from the lows of the floor.

You remember having to excuse yourself and run to the nearest restroom you can find, legs trembling and stumbling on your way there as you push against the winds of the almost empty halls, still coughing with every step you take. And just as you reach the doors of the restroom, you turn back slightly, just enough to catch Jimin's last sight while his body is being carried away to where you guess is a vacant patient's room, all this before his eyes ultimately close.

Eyes you found lastly staring at you.

You remember finally shutting the door and locking it, thanking God silently that you're in a family restroom hence there is no one else inside. You cough desperately, your throat beginning to feel exclusively sore and your lungs beginning to tighten from all the air being released as you cough and cough and cough again.

You reach out to the sink, gripping tightly onto the white metals as you cough and cough and cough again.

You then brushingly turn to the toilet, your eyes watering and lips numbing as you cough and you cough and you cough once more.

You practically clean the whole restroom, as disgusting as that sounds, from all the moving you made as you coughed anywhere and everywhere. You felt awful for the next person to come inside, now that your bacterium were practically in its every corner, side, and space. You cough again, this time harder, the worst one out of the previous.

You remember sensing a certain feeling rise up, something soft yet itchy, something light yet heavy.

And so you cough, and you cough, and you cough, and you cough,

and you bleed.

And amongst the red is a pink.

A single, individual pink petal from what you would soon find out is a camellia flower - the flower that is soon to be the latter symbolization of death chasing you, growing closer, inching nearer, just about to knock on your door.

So of course you remember Jimin's distraught. Of course you remember Sung's - his fiance's death.

Because her death was too, the ultimate beginning of yours.

taglist for part 2?

⪩⪨﹒ 🛁 My angel ﹐ʬʬ

📔 CLASSPRESIDENT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: classpresident!jimin x brainsandbrawns!reader. he’s basically a smarter & bitchier tristan dugray. private school au. long time rivals with tension. power couple who isn’t a couple yet but SO should be. rich boy with a pride problem.

lulu speaks: he’s hot i want him BHADDD

✎ classpresident!jimin whose parents are part of the school board, and are the main funders of the school.

✎ classpresident!jimin who ran for class president and won by a landslide. it was mostly because his peers are scared to death of him, and because nobody else even bothered to run against him.

✎ classpresident!jimin who finishes physics tests 20 minutes early and leaves students feeling like idiots just for glancing at their calculator.

✎ classpresident!jimin who will give you detention for being late and then walk you to class himself, smirking the entire time down.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulls your chair out and holds the door for you, but not for anyone else. ever. if someone points it out, he brushes it off with, “she’s too high-maintenance to be trusted with a door.”

✎ classpresident!jimin who shoots anyone who makes you laugh death stares, but only because he knows he’s never even been close to doing that—and he’ll likely never be.

✎ classpresident!jimin who absolutely sabotages anyone who tries to date you. he grades them harshly on their assignments because he’s a TA, tells teachers they were talking during a fire drill, spreads rumors that could ruin careers, all while you are blissfully unaware.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pretends he doesn’t remember your valentine’s day kiss from 4th grade. (it was a dare. it lasted a second. you definetly forgot about it by now, right???)

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulled strings with the professor to switch out your chem partner because he was too flirty.

✎ classpresident!jimin who remembers how his face used to get all red and his hands used to get all sweaty when he had to sit next to you in 2nd grade.

✎ classpresident!jimin who tried to actually flirt exactly once—you laughed in his face. he played it off, but he actually went home and screamed into his pillow.

✎ classpresident!jimin who has literally NEVER interrupted you when you’re speaking in class. not once. even if you’re wrong, even if he’s dying to correct you. he waits, because you’re the only person he respects at that level.

✎ classpresident!jimin who replies with “make me” evrey time you tell him to shut up.

✎ classpresident!jimin who 100% knows the way you smell. the actual name of your perfume—he looked it up. and now, when he catches whiffs of it in public, his head whips around like a dog hearing a toy jingle.

✎ classpresident!jimin who is in love with you—no matter what he says or how he rolls his eyes. painfully, hopelessly, endlessly in love with you, and he’ll take it to his grave…unless you find out.

lulu speaks pt2: when i found this picture of jimin i was half asleep and literally didn’t know if i was hallucinating or not. i wasn’t!! it’s real 💆🏻‍♀️

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📚 NERD!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (2)

warnings: literally non lol. fluff, yearning, pining, slight jealousy and angst if you squint and cover your eyes. he has a PHHHHAAAATTTTTT crush on reader. cutie pie.

lulu speaks: i recommend you read PART 1 before continuing. highly recommended, not 100% necessary.

✎ nerd!jimin who doodles tiny marvel logos in the margins of his notes and once drew your name in comic sans.

✎ nerd!jimin who acts like he doesn’t know how to share a word document, just so you lean over and touch his computer. he’s an honor roll student. he knows how to share a word document.

✎ nerd!jimin who is so unfortunately obvious with his crush on you that professors give him cheeky little side eyes when you interact with him.

✎ nerd!jimin who carries a mini glasses cleaning kit in a tiny pouch. there’s a spray bottle of cleaner and two different microfiber cloths.

✎ nerd!jimin who runs a reddit account where he corrects marvel lore inaccuracies but logs out in shame every time he gets upvoted.

✎ nerd!jimin who said “you look really pret— uh— prepared! f-for class. your notes! are nice.” and then didn’t speak again for two days.

✎ nerd!jimin who knows your laugh by heart. not just the sound—but the types. your real laugh. your fake laugh. your giggle when you're trying not to laugh in class. he could give a TED talk about it.

✎ nerd!jimin who once walked past your classroom while you were giving a presentation and literally backed up to stand by the door so he could listen in. heart pounding. smiling like an idiot every time you made a joke.

✎ nerd!jimin who prays you’ll ask him for help in class. he wants to explain the quadratic formula to you. he wants you to say “you’re so smart, jimin.” he’d black out if you did.

✎ nerd!jimin who saw his first marvel movie in theaters at age 10 and it literally altered his brain chemistry. he walked out thinking he was iron man. his mom had to drag him away from the cardboard standee.

✎ nerd!jimin who secretly fantasizes about watching every marvel movie with you in chronological order. on his couch. a blanket, snacks, you asking him questions everytime a new face appears on the screen. him explaining the lore. you leaning on his shoulder during thor: love and thunder.

✎ nerd!jimin who literally forgets how to breathe when you’re near. he has to manually inhale. “okay, jimin. inhale. now smile. no, not like a serial killer. relax. look cool.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets stupidly jealous way too often. he bites the inside of his cheek and taps his pencil like he’s trying to stab the table. his jealousy doesn’t look explosive—it looks like fidgeting, clenched fists, murmuring “whatever, he’s not even that funny.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets caught staring at you and does that abnoxiously awkward thing where he looks away too fast and pretends to read. it’s actually a sticky note he wrote to himself that says, “finish chem hw dumbass.”

✎ nerd!jimin who bumps into you in the hallway and apologizes nine times before realizing it was barely a graze. “sorry! i wasn’t looking. my fault. are you okay? i didn’t—okay. sorry. i’ll just—okay. sorry.”

✎ nerd!jimin who organizes his closet by color, category, and season. all his socks are folded into perfect little cubes.

✎ nerd!jimin who fidgets constantly. with his pen, his sleeves, the drawstring of his hoodie. if he’s concentrating, he’ll chew the inside of his cheek or bounce his leg so hard the table shakes.

✎ nerd!jimin who gets the hiccups when he’s nervous. you smile at him for too long? hic. you sit next to him during a lecture? hic. he wants to cry and crawl into his backpack.

✎ nerd!jimin who thinks loving you must be some kind of secret superpower. something he was cursed or blessed with. something that makes every day a little harder—and a lot better.

lulu speaks pt2: hi 👋🏼👋🏼 nobody asked for this but I wanted this to happen. and you can’t stop me. nobody can. never. NEVERRRRR MWAHAHAHAHAHA

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🛹 SKATERBOY!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (3)

warnings: rodrick heffley-anna coleman (freaky friday) crossover. set somewhere between 1994-2006. THERE IS SMUT DOWN THERE! reader discretion is advised.

lulu speaks: EVERYONE THANK THE LOVELY @rosequartzz77 FOR REQUESTING MORE OF HIM. he’s actually my favorite out of all jimin AUs i’ve birthed thank yew. here is PART 1 and PART 2 of him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is the kind of boyfriend you tell your daughters about 20 years later, when they’re having boy problems. you tell them everything—every rebellious, likely illegal moment. they’re appalled, to say the least. the most appalling part is that your same eyeliner-wearing, cigarette-smoking ex-boyfriend is their father.

★ skaterboy!jimin who lets you paint his nails black in your bedroom while he lays sprawled out on your rug, talking shit about your teachers and letting his fingers curl around your thigh like it’s second nature.

★ skaterboy!jimin who always tells you you’re his girl. always. doesn’t matter if it’s in front of friends or strangers or his deadbeat stepdad—“that’s my girl,” he says with a cocky grin, like he’s got the whole world wrapped around your finger.

★ skaterboy!jimin who has a burn scar on his forearm from a shitty house party bonfire where he tried to impress you by lighting two joints at once. You kissed the burn that night. He’s never shut up about it since.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes zones out mid-convo just staring at your mouth. doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until you go, “you good?” and he just mumbles, “uh-huh... just thinking about something…” (he was thinking about kissing you until you cried, actually.)

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets handsy in his sleep. pulls you against him even in the middle of the night, hand gripping your waist, one thigh thrown over yours, hips twitching when you shift in his hold.

★ skaterboy!jimin who uses your name as his username on AIM. he got it just to do that.

★ skaterboy!jimin who wears your hair tie on his wrist even though it cuts off his circulation. he uses it as a way to flaunt you, like girl-repellent. goes, “yeah, this is my GIRLFRIEND’S.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets distracted mid-makeout by your lip gloss. “what flavor is that?” and then proceeds to lick it off your mouth instead of waiting for an answer.

★ skaterboy!jimin who absolutely did not shut up about you to his boys when you first started dating him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who fails PE because he keeps skipping class to go walk you to lunch. he’s sweaty, shirt untucked, bruised, but he’s there at the double doors every. single. day.

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets moody when you laugh too hard at another guy’s joke and then sulks dramatically on the curb until you sit beside him and kiss his cheek.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes calls you at 1AM from the payphone outside the 7/11 just to hear your voice. “did you know i love you? just needed to say it. that’s all. you’re hot. okay bye.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who sucks at math but volunteers to be your partner, because why wouldn’t he? does none of the work. just stares at you. tries to look cool while pretending to solve for x.

★ skaterboy!jimin who—despite being a cool and intimidating guy—actually gets horny over you bossing him around. he’ll do quite literally whatever you say, and he’ll do it with a smile on his face (and a boner in his pants).

★ skaterboy!jimin who will absolutely pull your hair when you give him head. most likely in his car or his room; chest heaving, hair sticking to his forehead, the sight of you bobbing up and down on his length only pushing him to tug harder.

★ skaterboy!jimin who has one kink: you. always you. chewing gum? ripping tape with your teeth? checking yourself out in a mirror? he’s hard. instantly. “i hate you. i hate you, baby,” he’ll groan as he palms himself. “you don’t even try to turn me on.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who has a serious oral fixation. fingers in your mouth. tongue around yours. cigarettes shared between kisses. he’ll lick whipped cream off your finger in public and smirk like, “what? i’m being sweet.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who adores when you ride his thigh. he sits back and watches you with that lazy smirk, hands behind his head, letting you use him while he flexes just right. “you look so pretty losing it on my leg, sunshine.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes looks at you when you’re not paying attention like he’s about to write a goddamn love song. like you’re art. like you’re his favorite kind of disaster.

lulu speaks: uploading smut is so awkward like hey here are my insane & horny thoughts of a guy who doesn’t even exist????hope you enjoy?????

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📚 HIGH OFF YOU — PJM

IN WHICH: a certain nerd gets peer-pressured into taking an edible. then perfect little you comes along, vowing to be his caretaker for the night.

pairing: high!nerd!jimin x sober!popular!reader

warnings: mentions of edibles, weed. alcohol. houseparty. peer pressure (lighthearted edition). first time getting high. sober caretaker. fem!reader. you will want to read THIS for more context—highly recommended, not mandatory.

word count: 595

lulu speaks: this was impulsive and dumb but it’s here so i ask that you take very good care of it. he’s such a cutie??? also reader’s lowkey a baddie and i need her but anyways

the house is alive.

no—possessed, really. the music is too loud, the air too sticky, everyone looks like they’re in a troye sivan-induced trance.

and jimin?

jimin is vibrating and overstimulated beyond belief. he’s about a breath away from passing out on the couch.

he didn’t even really mean to take the edible.

it just sort of…happened—passed into his hand by some senior jock while taehyung yelled “DON’T BE LAME!” in the distance, and jungkook made direct eye contact and said, “YOLO.”

(which…was weirdly persuasive.)

so, here he is.

halfway into orbit. melting into the peeled leather couch. alone.

until you appear.

“jimin?”

your voice cuts through the bass like magic. a bright, perfect sound that makes him peek up—and oh god, it’s you. it’s really you.

he pushes his foggy glasses back up after having slid down the entire bridge of his nose.

your tiny black dress glints under the strobe lights. your hair brushes your shoulders. your brows are furrowed in genuine concern.

he sits up straighter. (well, tries.)

“did someone seriously give you an edible?” you question, crouching next to him like some righteous angel. “what the hell is wrong with them? you look like you’re seeing stars.”

“i am seeing stars,” he mumbles, dreamily.

you sigh, loud and dramatic. “who gave it to you?”

he points vaguely in the direction of the jocks.

you stand. hands on hips. eyes full of fury.

and jimin—bless his dumb little stoned heart—just watches you absolutely chew out three upperclassmen, and suddenly he’s not sure if the room is spinning from the edible or from the sight of you calling people out on his behalf.

by the time you come back, cheeks flushed and eyes sharp, he’s smiling like a drunk puppy.

“you’re scary,” he tells you with wide eyes.

“you’re lucky i found you,” you shoot back. “come on.”

“huh?”

“come with me, genius. i’m not letting you out of my sight.”

you don’t give him time to argue. just thread your fingers around his wrist and tug him up gently, guiding him through the chaos. he stumbles a bit, leans into your shoulder once or twice, and you…let him.

and from that point on, you stick to him like glue.

you sit next to him on the floor during some game of king’s cup. get him water. shoo away the girl who tried to give him a drink. wrap a blanket around his shoulders when he says he’s cold. take a video of him explaining the plot of finding nemo with red eyes and reconciles animated hand gestures. you smile every time he smiles.

and jimin—still floating, still warm—just watches you with big, dazed eyes, a stupid smile on his face, and one constant thought looping in his brain:

she’s so pretty.

she’s so nice to me.

i would give her the moon if she asked.

is that painting talking to me?

later, as the party winds down and you’re helping him sit on the pool coping, he blurts, “you smell like smirnoff.”

you pause. look at him. laugh—really laugh.

“and you smell like doritos.”

he doesn’t even care. he just giggles.

and when you give him that look—that sweet, curious, affectionate little look like you’ve never seen anyone quite like him before—he swears his brain melts into mush right then and there.

the sound of the pool water trickling into the skimmer is suddenly a few decibels louder, the muffled booming of something ke$ha seemingly more distant.

a smile creeps its way onto your face. his eyes literally form hearts.

he’s never taking an edible again.

lulu speaks pt2: me if there were awards for most rushed endings: 🥇🏆🏅🎖️BEWARE!! the cai bot tagged below does NOT follow this prompt/scenario.

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⚔️ IN ARMOR, ENAMORED — PJM

REQUEST: “no plssss my heart hurts for him, i wanna see knight jimin's reaction when she finally says that he IS the prince for her. HER PRINCE IN SHINING ARMOR ASDFGHJKL😭😭😭”

pairing: knight!jimin x princess!reader

warnings: crazy yearning, he’s down BADD. you will want to read THIS to get a bit more context—highly recommended, not needed.

word count: 768

lulu speaks: so this is super unrealistic. if ur a history guy dont come for me bc this is NAWT how it would’ve gone down. anyways this is an anon request, here u go queenie heehee.

the night’s air is thick with woodsmoke, curling through the palace corridors. the highly-mounted torches flicker against marble columns, casting warm light across your silk gown as your footsteps echo, quick and certain, down the eastern wing.

you know where to find him.

he keeps to silence when he’s not by your side. he sharpens his blade where the guards cannot see his trembling hands. and tonight, he’s there again. alone in the armory, his tunic unlaced at the throat, chest rising and falling with the fury of restraint.

you stop in the doorway. he doesn’t hear you at first.

his back is facing you, one hand gripping the table, the other clenching around the hilt of his sword. the torchlight casts a glow along the ridges of his shoulders, the curve of his jaw, the sweat at the nape of his neck. you watch him breathe.

you take a step forward.

he startles when he sees you.

“y-your highness—thou shouldst not be here—” he says, voice caught between panic and awe, already dropping to one knee. “forgive me, if I have offended—if i have looked upon thee too long—”

“sir jimin,” you whisper.

his head lifts tantalizingly slowly. he doesn’t dare rise, not without your command.

you approach slowly, step by step, until your slipper brushes the tip of his heavy boot. his breath stutters.

you reach down gently and lift his chin with your fingers.

his lips part.

his eyes are windows to his soul, to everything he’s buried. his love. his longing. the desperation he’s fought to keep buried after swearing loyalty to the crown.

“there is no prince in all the kingdoms of the realm,” you murmur, “who could ever be more noble, more loyal, or more breathtaking than thou art, jimin.”

his hands twitch on his thighs. his adam’s apple bobs.

“you are the man i would choose,” you whisper softly, “even if the crown forbade it. even if the monarchy burned for it.”

he finally rises, but only to take one faltering step back. his hand flies to his chest, as if grasping to hold in the ache.

“my lady… thou speakest with mercy, but i am no man fit for thy hand,” he stammers. “i am thy shield. thy sword. i am not permitted to want—”

you reach for him.

he lets you touch him—your fingers curling over his cheek, following the corner of his trembling mouth.

“but I want thee,” you say. “i want no crown without thee beside me.”

his eyes flutter. the silence is thick with tension, with tears of yearning laced behind it. you see his lips move before they open again, voice hoarse with disbelief.

“say it again,” he whispers. “please… i beg. let me hear it once more.”

“i want thee, i need thee,” you repeat, firmer now. “if it takes running from this castle and leaving behind the very throne waiting to hold my weight, i shall do so. but that is unecessary.”

you swear you see his eyes flicker with desperation.

“because I’ve spoken to my father. he will not deny us.” a beat. “we are free to wed.”

he stares at you like he’s dreaming. his eyes are low and dopey, the usually steady beat of his heart falters. his palms are sweat wider than ever before, his chest heaving with heavy breaths despite his throat empty of words.

then—he falls. literally falls. to his knees again, this time with a choked cry, burying his face against your waist, his arms around you like he’s clinging to salvation. his nose nuzzles into your abdomen, eyes shut like he can’t quite grasp the fact that he’s living this moment.

“my angel,” he breathes, pressing a kiss over your stomach, your hip, your wrist. “my beloved… i have wanted thee from the first moment i beheld thy face. i have stumbled in silence for so long—”

your fingers weave through his hair.

“then be silent no more.”

when he looks up again, his eyes are wet with tears and twinkling like stars.

“command me,” he whispers. “to love thee, to worship thee, to be thine husband—and i shall obey for the rest of my days.”

even in his most vulnerable moment of desperation, he wishes nothing more than to follow the orders of the crown.

and when he kisses you at last—it’s not rebellious. it’s not wrong.

it’s beautfiul. it’s exactly what he was destined for.

and at that moment, it felt like the heavens themselves had been waiting for this moment to breathe life into his lungs.

at that moment, he was alive.

lulu speaks pt2: YAYYY I HOPE THIS IS OK. also...i had to consult my sister to make sure i was using the correct old english pronouns…that was an interesting conversation LMFAO the things i do for y’all 🤬 i love it tho heeehe

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⚔️ KNIGHT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: yearning and pining. knight!jimin x princess!reader. if ur heartstrings aren’t tugging, i haven’t done my job.

lulu speaks: request by @rosequartzz77 !! i actually had a namjoon ver. of this in my drafts as well as a cai bot on my page soooo !! check that out if you’d like.

☾ knight!jimin who drops to one knee and bows his head every time he addresses you, even when you beg him not to be so formal.

☾ knight!jimin who always stands just a little too close, hand on the hilt of his sword, eyes scanning the crowd like he’d fight off an army for you.

☾ knight!jimin who calls you “your highness,” but it burns on his tongue—because he wants to say your name like a lover would.

☾ knight!jimin who bowed so deeply his forehead nearly touched your slipper the day he was appointed your guard. you gently told him to rise—and when his eyes met yours, it was the first time he ever forgot to breathe in full armor. he swore loyalty to the crown, but it was you he meant in his heart.

☾ knight!jimin who sharpens his sword when suitors arrive. you’ll hear the angry thrashing of steel against stone echoing through the ballroom form a nearby armory.

☾ knight!jimin who secretly teaches you how to wield a dagger just in case he isn’t there to protect you someday.

☾ knight!jimin who refuses to leave your side when you’re ill. not for food, not for sleep, not for orders. when you wake, pale and weak, he kisses your hand softly while you pretend to still be asleep.

☾ knight!jimin who turns away when you undress for a royal fitting, face red and jaw tight, even though your lady-in-waiting assures him it’s routine. he simply says, voice low and strained, “i dare not look upon her in such state. ’tis not mine right.”

☾ knight!jimin who would carry you through mud, over rivers, into fire—without hesitation. when your carriage breaks, and you jokingly say “well, someone must carry me,” he doesn’t laugh. he simply lifts you in his arms, voice low: “as thou commandest, my princess.”

☾ knight!jimin who steps in front of a lord’s outstretched hand when the man tries to touch your waist. the man scoffs, “i meant no offense.” and jimin bows, cold and sharp, eyes hard: “and yet, offense was taken. her highness is not to be touched without leave.”

☾ knight!jimin who sees you in a gown stitched in gold. that night, he dreams of unlacing it—only to wake before his lips ever reach your skin.

☾ knight!jimin who walks a step behind you in the gardens, carrying your cloak, your books, a flower he picked just in case you liked the color.

☾ knight!jimin who falls asleep seated at your bedside when you’re unwell, fingers curled loosely around yours on top of the covers, armor long since abandoned.

☾ knight!jimin who trains beside the royal pond, shirt discarded, hoping you’ll pass by and notice—but never bold enough to call you over.

☾ knight!jimin who when you’re away for a week, his bed remains untouched. he trains until his knees give out, collapses in armor, dreams of the way your fingertips grazed his cheek months ago.

☾ knight!jimin who would give you everything. his sword. his life. his soul. but the one thing he won’t take—unless you command him to—is your heart. because he still believes a princess deserves a prince, not a guard’s love.

lulu speaks pt2: um HI I LOVE HIM. REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND WELCOMED 😌

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📚NERD!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: literally none lol. fluff, yearning, pining, slight jealousy. he has a fat freaking crush on reader 😇 he’s really cute idk what else there is to say

lulu speaks: y’all it’s not funny i ❤️ nerds. also i’ve had this bot on my page forever and i FINALLY decided to formally present him to y’all. i am VERY much considering making this into a mini series/oneshot collection. lmk if ur interested!!

✎ nerd!jimin who aggressively color-codes his notes for “practicality”, when it actually helps him calm his anxiety.

✎ nerd!jimin who talks to himself when he’s doing his math homework—muttering to himself while rubbing his temples. “come on, jimin, you know this. you’re not stupid.”

✎ nerd!jimin who collects vintage marvel comics and prides himself in bragging about them when he’s in the shop to browse for more—it’s the only time he’s not humble. “yeah, that’s a first edition. wanna touch it?”

✎ nerd!jimin who takes forever to fall asleep because his mind is a constantly-running think machine. 24/7. does he fix his mom’s laptop or the wi-fi router first? did the bidding go up for that original fantastic four comic?

✎ nerd!jimin who is a true momma’s boy at heart. not in a creepy way, but in the way where he’ll lean into her warm hugs and let her fix his ruffled hair—but also shy away from her cheek kisses in front of his classmates.

✎ nerd!jimin who subconsciously memorized your schedule. he wasn’t even trying to be creepy—he actually hated he did. he just happened to see you walk in and out of your classes, and it stuck with him.

✎ nerd!jimin who changes his route on campus to walk past you. he’s missed his bus on multiple occasions because of this.

✎ nerd!jimin who gets nervous when someone mentions your name in passing. cheeks all pink and warm, heart racing, knee bouncing up and down.

✎ nerd!jimin who owns every type of rubix cube under the sun. his favorite? his first 3x3 cube. the paint’s all chipped, but he loves it just the same.

✎ nerd!jimin who bought a copy of a book he overheard you talking about. he has yet to read it, only because he’s scared he’ll get too attached to it if he loves it. (spoiler alert: he would love anything you love).

✎ nerd!jimin who gets jealous of your male friends. he gets in his own head. like, “who even is that guy? why’s she laughing? is he funny? i’m funny. i think.”

✎ nerd!jimin who likes your posts within the first two minutes, never commenting. just lurking.

✎ nerd!jimin who wears cologne because someone said you liked guys who smelled nice. hyperfixates on it, his search history filled with things like “how much cologne is too much?”

✎ nerd!jimin who has practiced what he’d say if you ever found out he likes you. has never gotten past “so… uh.”

✎ nerd!jimin who wonders if you’d ever like him back. decides probably not. gets sad. listens to sad violin lo-fi.

✎ nerd!jimin who absolutely yaps his friends’ ears off about you. they’re sick of it, but will always be around for his one-sided girl problems.

✎ nerd!jimin who told his mom about you. that precious, cardigan-wearing, kimchi-jjigae-making lady always giving him the same piece of advice; “just go talk to her, jimin.”

✎ nerd!jimin who once got so flustered he said “I love y—you’re… you’re welcome.” then didn’t sleep for three nights.

✎ nerd!jimin who fantasizes about holding your hand. just your hand. and then he has to physically pull himself back into reality, eyes back on his chem textbook.

lulu speaks pt2: focus on school kicking my ass ❌ write another jimin au ✅

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🛹 SKATERBOY!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (2)

warnings: rodrick heffley-anna coleman (freaky friday) crossover. set somewhere between 1994-2006. mentions of smoking, sex, etc. THERE IS SOME SMUT DOWN THERE! reader discretion is advised.

lulu speaks: HE’S BACK HE’S BACK EVERYONE CLAP! *bows* thank you thank you 🙂‍↕️ i missed him too ❤️‍🩹

★ skaterboy!jimin who will literally spend hours practicing a new trick just to impress you.

★ skaterboy!jimin who keeps a polaroid of you taped inside his locker, right above a Nirvana flyer. he kisses his first two fingers and taps it before every test he takes. he still fails them all.

★ skaterboy!jimin who won’t ever admit to being a bit of an artist, but will surely speak it through the way he’ll doodle all over you in sharpie. skulls, eyes, wings, a mock old-school heart tattoo with his name in the middle.

★ skaterboy!jimin who swears up and down he “hates people”, but somehow charms everyone’s little siblings. he will always deny his sweet heart. but you see it—you know it.

★ skaterboy!jimin who rubs his cherry lollipop over his plump lips like it’s lipgloss, but will proceed to act like he’s above using lip care—he likes your lip balm, though. a lot.

★ skaterboy!jimin who calls you “his courtney” in hopes you’ll call him “your kurt”. you never do. he’ll never stop.

★ skaterboy!jimin who will try his hardest to teach you how to skate, one step at a time. his hands tight in yours, watching as you defy the laws of inertia time and time again.

★ skaterboy!jimin who thinks that slow dancing to “Crazy” by Aerosmith is the most romantic thing ever.

★ skaterboy!jimin who makes it his life’s mission to convince you to get matching couples tattoos. when you finally come around, you’re not the one whining and bitching in the tattoo parlor.

★ skaterboy!jimin who takes you out to the gas station after your curfew, feeding you shitty powdered donuts, kissing the powdered sugar off your lips.

★ skaterboy!jimin who lands the cleanest ollie you’ve ever seen, skates over to you with a cheeky grin. he gives you a fist bump, immediately lifting your hand and kissing it afterwards.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is always taking you to random garage concerts, claiming he “knows the drummer.” you recognize no one, yet you have the time of your life every. single. time.

★ skaterboy!jimin who takes the healing wrap off his tattoo as soon as he out of the artist’s eyeline, flexing the poorly-healing “NEVERMIND” tattoo by taking off his shirt everytime he’s around you for the next month.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sketches your initials on his board’s grip tape so many times it’s barely usable.

★ skaterboy!jimin who loves when you straddle him in his passenger seat. his fingers drum along your hips, lazy and slow, kissing you between every word. “you’re so fuckin’ pretty like this. wanna stay here all night.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who loves when you pull his hair. his moans go high-pitched, almost surprised, when your fingers yank—“shit—do that again, fuck.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who wolf whistles at you everytime you dress a little skimpier. he swears his mouth waters when your shorts ride up—almost like it’s on purpose. “now you’re just being mean,” he whines with a pout.

★ skaterboy!jimin who always, always lets you finish first. every time. “gotta take care of my girl. nothing else matters.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who eats you out like it’s a competition. face buried in your thighs, tongue mean and unrelenting, like he’s got something to prove.

★ skaterboy!jimin who insists on fucking you in the backseat of his car while Nirvana blasts from his busted stereo. windows fogged up, your leg tossed over the console, his voice in your ear—“be loud, baby. no one can hear you over Kurt.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who records you moaning for him on a scratchy-ass cassette tape, jerking off to it later while whispering your name under his breath.

★ skaterboy!jimin who asks you to take polaroids of your nail scratches on his back, every. damn. time. he keeps at least one in his back pocket at all times.

★ skaterboy!jimin who says “attagirl” every chance he gets. his hips rolling into you when he thrusts? “attagirl.” you finally let him into your room through the window past midnight? “attagirl.” you take a longer drag than usual from your shared cig? “attagirl.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who would break every rule, every bone, every promise he’s ever made—just to keep you safe, loved, worshipped.

lulu speaks pt2: this is very short n sweet (haha sabrina reference) but BOY is he hot. sigh. #needthatrealbad

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