I Love Studying. I Love Writing. I Love Reading. I Love Learning Languages. I Love Doing Mathematics.

“i like every person i meet. for like 17 days. after that either they expect too much or give too little. expectations and expectations and some more. it’s not like they like me indefinitely. shall i put in the effort and emotion to get to know them beyond their superficial layers and see the love and the hurt and the humanity in them when they are just going to stop caring about my existence perhaps at day 67 or 172? Shall i pacify the devil inside them when it will laugh at my attempts when they walk away at day 213? shall i? or shall i just shut up and go to sleep.”

—

-Rumi

light

mitski // blanche dubois

BLUE LIGHT // ABBEY // A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE

Come to life

Maybe if I write about you you’ll come to life

Maybe I just haven’t been putting in the effort to bring you closer to me

I haven’t worn my hands out from writing about you and who I imagine you to be

But surely you have been in my mind and my heart

You’ve existed beyond the words I could ever write

My mere existence confirms yours

The longing I have

The love I hold in place reserved just for you

The devotion I’m ready to bestow on you

The unconditional intentional commitment I’m so ready to have to us and to you

Sometimes I wonder if it’s safer to keep all this inside, to not jinx it all for us by putting the words out there

I don’t know, I’m conflicted

Writing about you somehow makes me feel closer to you

Feels like bringing you to life

I can’t wait to have you read all this, if you ever come…

“Step into my poem, I will be there for your heart, in this gondola of rain and hope.”

—

“Got me up all night”

— J Cole

Her

Poetry is when a heart aches of love, pure genuine love, an offspring of happiness. It is when tears run down your cheeks due to the amount of love one can feel. it allows you a moment of pure ecstasy, so hypnotic to the eye of one who has once felt that pure love. Poetry is art. Art that creates ethereal imagery in your heart, and mind.

28/10

— Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a letter to Arthur Davison Ficke featured in Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay.

And if ever

I failed

to love you

at your worst,

I am sorry

for maybe

that’s when

I am also

trying

to look for

the best in me.

Have you seen it? //ma.c.a