Ferntasie - Snuggle Seductress

when i was a kid i thought the jingle cats were real and my favorite band

I had a thing on fb and asked my friends to give me ideas for funny shirts on mousegirls and heres some of them

I'm a bit of a Grinch. Holiday gift exchanges can be stressy for me for several reasons—the guessing game of figuring out who's planning to gift-exchange with me so it doesn't turn out awkwardly one-sided; being a minimalist who's overwhelmed by receiving too many new possessions; the possibility of inflicting the same overwhelmedness on other people; and the fact that I and many of my friends are tight on money.

This year I've started an opt-in gifting policy: I've admitted all those things to my friends, and told them that if gift-exchanging with me is important to them, they should actively let me know and provide me with a wishlist.

I'm pleasantly surprised how well people have taken it, and how many people have taken my blessing to not gift-exchange with me! I've got my gifting this year down to a few relatives and one close friend and I didn't have to do any guessing about what to buy and for whom!

What do they put in diet sodas for birds?

Artificial tweeteners!

"Successful associates enjoy and thrive in developing solutions in machine learning, artificial intelligence, simulation, optimization, forecasting, data mining, statistics, deep learning, buzzword, buzzword, etc."

--an actual Kroger job listing

What if some parents always wanted to be esports champions so they played League of Legends with their kid and the kid played as the woman with the fists and the parents made the kid do all the work for the team?

That would be called living "Vi, carry us"-ly.

🥁

Coming up with all these puns is like running a busy funeral home: quite the undertaking!

Why are undertakers always so tired?

Because they’re always taking graveyard shifts!

I adore meeting plural systems who have fictives. Like mew are telling me mew got LORE? that's so fucking dope

my millsberry pets have probably been repossessed now that it's been eighteen years since i bought them food with my cinnamon toast crunch pachinko money

used my spotify moneys to buy a single grain of rice!!! lammys eatin good today!!!