WHERE Is My Sea Captain Boyfriend I Know He’s Out There

so i normally keep my blog sfw but this is to good not to add

My job on the commune is to eat the rats in the grain storehouses. Also I give blowjobs.

If a boy ever lets me play with his hair I’ll literally go feral

Like no controll full on rat

people are like "if you put crabs in a bucket they can't escape because they keep pulling each other back in, this is called crab bucket mentality and describes why people don't help each other" and never acknowledge that crabs do not naturally occur in buckets, a human with more power had to put them there

You a lot has been said about how quickly Ariel "fell in love"

Now as an adult I am a bit "bitch you don't even know him" but at the same time I can recognise that Eric was just part of her dreams.

She wanted to be human so very badly before Eric

He was just a bonus that she wanted to smooch

But Eric

Holy fuck!

This dude heard a chick sing and was like "that's the one. Her" despite not even seeing her face clearly

Then he meets a weird naked mute girl on the beach and is like "A FRIEND! I SHALL BRING HER HOME AND WE WILL BE FRIENDS FOR LIFE!"

And like his servant? Advisor? Whatever that dude is is like "okay I know you're hung up on mystery singing girl but this mysterious girl is right here and really into you"

And Eric is like "well damn. I should take her on a date and probably smooch her"

And he almost falls for this new girl so that he has to have a spell put on him by Ursala

Once that's broken and he realises that the two mystery girls are the SAME girl he is like "damn. Better commit murder for her" even though she is now half fish

Like Eric is ALL IN right the fuck away no matter of you're a romantic or platonic interest

Eric is a ride or die person through and through

I like to think like every other week he brings in a new drifter who is his New Best Friend and Love To Learn Ariel is thrilled and asks all the questions and records their life stories

I like to think Eric and Ariel are the weird royal couple but everyone is polite to them because 1. They are both very charming and 2. Eric can and will cut a bitch if necessary

i really can’t comprehend what’s happening here this is cursed? i’m not even sure anymore

Oh my god I was just looking to see how much a copy of Hamlet would be through Barnes and Noble and PEOPLE ARE ROLEPLAYING WARRIOR CATS IN THE REVIEWS??????

THIS!!

Alright, I'm hoppin onto the artbreeder trend.

The devs mentioned that they took inspiration from Jeff Goldblum while making Julian

Here I present you: Julian Goldblum, aka Julian when he still had two healthy eyes.

All I want is a damn BOYFRIEND is that too much to ask for?!

want boy to talk to for hours on end want boy to be held by/ hold let me lay in ur lap i deserve it

i’m sickened but curious i have to restrain my self from reading it right here and now and possibly never watching the movie the same way again

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

Can we please talk about how our history teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as proof of the presence of man two million years ago