Latest Posts by hitmewitha-chair - Page 3
Reblog if you’re asexual, bisexual, demisexual, pansexual, homosexual, bigender, agender, transgender, or just really like fall out boy.
"Dear diary, my teenage angst bullshit now has a body count"
-light yagami
Bold of you
Eyeless jack, trying awkwardly to make small talk: So, are there any lucky women in your life?
Ticci toby, very seriously: Tell me every aspect of my personality that made you think I was straight so I can change it immediately.
tickle
Ticci toby: *tickles masky*
masky: *Punches toby in the arm* Stop that.
ticci toby: I was just tickling you! When you get married your husband will probably do the same, would you punch him?”
masky: I’ll have you know I will let my future husband know to NEVER tickle me. I will tell him within the first three dates, I will make him SIGN A CONTRACT that says if he tickles me I WILL PERSONALLY DESTROY HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS. I WILL MAKE HIM VOW ON OUR WEDDING DAY IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY THAT HE WILL NEVER. EVER. TICKLE ME.
ticci toby: ...
no hoddie
Slenderman: I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded.
Masky: What about work?
slenderman: Fine. Other work. And no TV.
Masky: My TV's broken.
Slenderman: Then no computer.
Masky: I need the computer for school.
Slenderman: Then no... uh...
[Glances at Hoodie]
slenderman: No Hoodie.
Masky: What?! No Hoodie?!
slenderman: NO Hoodie!
Say it
Hoodie: If a demon possessed me, I’d just say oh cool take it from here and good luck
Liu: My seduction style is genuinely caring about your life and just wanting you to be happy
Eyeless jack: Do you ever just get the urge to tell someone to shut up even if they’re not talking
Jeff: Can pushing people away be considered a talent because I think I’m a natural
When
Ticci toby: When I become a serial killer I'll leave tapes that have 'Mmm Whatcha Say' in the mouths of all of my victims.
masky: "When.
Ben: Would you fuck a clone of yourself?
Ticci toby: Yes.
Masky: No.
Eyeless jack: I don't want to fuck my clone because it would be gay sex and I'm not gay.
Jane: I'm not gay, but I would totally fuck my clone.
hoodie: I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.
Laughing jack: I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is that strong.
Nina: I'd totally want to fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.
bloody painter: I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck me than me?
Homicidal liu: I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.
Jason: To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.
Puppeteer: It's basically the same thing as masturbating, right? So no big deal.
Dollmaker: It's not the same as masturbating, it'd be like having sex with your twin — wrong and bad!
Clockwork: I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil?
Jeff the killer: Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.
slendeman: You guys are nasty and I'm frankly a little concerned.
Bees
Sam: You promised you wouldn't get me bees
Gabriel from a distance: Just open it!
Drive
Sam: We gotta get to the hospital fast
Dean: Then I should drive
Sam:WHy?
Dean: Cause I got nothing to live for and drive like it
Sam:okay, let's do it
(later in the car)
Everyone: *screaming*
Avenge me
Dean: ANd what do you do if I die?
Castiel: AVENGE YOU!!!
Dean: NO
Castiel: GO AFTER THEIR CHILDREN
Dean: N O-!
come over
castiel: come over
Dean: I can't my car only has three wheels
Castiel: WHat is it, a tricycle?
Dean: You were supposed to say 'but my parents aren't home'
Castiel: I was distracted by your tricycle
Dean: okay start over
Castiel: Come over
Dean: I can't my car only has three wheels
Castiel: What color is your tricycle?
Dean: ...Fuck you
Hall monitors
Masky: No running in the hallway!
Eyeless jack: Huh? What are you talking about?
hoodie, writing a ticket: Masky, is this maggot giving you lip?
Masky: We’re the new hall monitors.
Hoddie: [sticks a ticket to Ej’s head with gum]
Masky: If we catch you speeding again, you’re going downtown! We already locked up Toby for telling bad jokes.
Ticci toby, in a cardboard jail cell: Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!
Ticci Toby, laughing: Get it?
Masky: That’s five more minutes, dirt bag!
Eyeless jack: Okay, okay. I’ll walk within the speed limit. I swear.
Hoodie: NO SWEARING!
Missing
Jeff: Have you seen my life jack? I can't find it
eyeless jack: Kind of like your parents
Jeff:...
Jeff: Okay first of all FUCK YO-
I meant to write knife
Plans
CLockwork: Jane you need a hobby
Jane: I have a hobby
Clockwork: How many times do I have to tell you that stalking and planning Jeff's demise is not a hobby
Missing
Jeff: Have you seen my life jack? I can't find it
eyeless jack: Kind of like your parents
Jeff:...
Jeff: Okay first of all FUCK YO-
Birthday cake
Sally: Can we have birthday cake?
Slenderman: It's not even your birthday
Sally: The cake won't know that
Handsome
Eyeless jack: You're so handsome helen
Helen: no need to be jealous, you're also handsome
Eyeless jack: I wasn't being jealous I was being gay
surrender
Eyeless jack: t's a white flag, you might as well start giving up
Jeff: The only thing I'll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother.
Ben::o
Eyeless jack: the fuc-
To do list
Sally: Here's a list of things that's wrong with you
Liu: There's nothing on it?
sally: I know, here's a hug
Olive garden
Ticci toby: can you give me directions to the olive garden?
Ben: Why not just cultivate our own garden?
Ticci toby: That seems rational
eyeless jack in the background: ....no....
worst of times
Ticci toby: It was the best of memes, it was the worst of memes
Masky: ....
You’re just stupid
Jeff the killer:[running around hysterically]
Maksy: Stop running!
Masky: You’re not a freak!
Masky: You’re just stupid!
Perfect
Jeff the killer: I never brag
eyeless jack: you once called yourself ‘proof of god’s existence’
laundry sauce
Ticci toby: Slenerman, we need more laundry sauce.
Slenderman: More what?
Ticci toby: You know, like the stuff you use to wash clothes.
Slenderman: You mean detergent?
Ticci toby: Yeah, but it’s more sauce for clothes, you know?
Slenderman: You’re not allowed to say words anymore.
realizations
Ticci toby: Music is just wriggling air
Masky: Toby, please stop
Ticci toby: Funerals are just family reunions with one less person in it.
Masky: No, stop don’t do this to me
Ticci toby: What if “raining men” and “let the bodies hit the floor” are both the same event but from different perspectives?
Masky: I’m begging you to stop
Ben drowned: No let him continue
Dear future wife
Tenko, under her breath: future wife say what
Himiko: What?
Tenko: (screaming internally)
Nobody loves me
Nagito, sighs: No one loves me
Hajime:are you sure?
Nagito: yeah
Hajime, aggressively pointing at himself: ARE YOU FUCKING SURE ABOUT THAT!
Loooovvveee
Hajime: I have feelings for you
Nagito:you do?
Hajime: Yeah, I feel you’re a little annoying
Beverage
Kokichi: If I were a drink I’d be cherry vanilla coke. If you were a drink what would you be?
Ryoma: Bleach
Shuichi: sewage
Kokichi: please calm down edge lords