Latest Posts by hospitaiforbrokensouls-blog - Page 5

“i walk into the world with a smile to show it’s my greatest mask always hiding behind a laugh but when the conversation turns too close to home i end up empty, hollow afraid that people will know how i feel and who i am”

— t.m.

“my life is an out of body experience disconnected from everything around feelings i just don’t know my mind is a black hole and all those sleepless night knowing i’m never going where i want to go”

— t.m.

The depression won today. Staying home from school because it’s too hard to get out of bed. I just woke up and I already know the days going to consist of suicidal thoughts and sleeping the pain away.

I don’t think I have a choice

im sorry to everyone who has ever tried to talk to me and then realized my communication skills are equivalent to a stale piece of bread

“it scares me to think about how i’m only alive because i don’t want to hurt the people i love”

— that’s the only reason (via depresseddisneyprincess)

“Lately Ive been picking through my brain

Searching for the reason why I finally went insane

But I’m out of luck

I Guess I’ll never be the same

Maybe I’m just crazy or have I always been this way

Come to think of it

Ever since a jit, I shied away from other kids

Sitting on the playground

Thinking everybody’s judging him

Forward six years later

And I still cant let nobody in”

Whosthatkidd

It’s not that I don’t want to live, I want to feel alive. But I have been dead for so long, I don’t even remember how being alive feels. Now, death feels like home, I just want to go home.

She doesn’t talk about you like you put the stars in the sky anymore

I literally feel sick from crying so much.

“Solitude isn’t always pretty. Sometimes it’s just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling listening to the same song over and over again as it slowly loses its meaning. Sometimes it’s how people go mad because they couldn’t tame the darkness that was growing within them over time. Some days it’s a girl waking up without her soul. Some nights it’s a boy falling asleep with his spirit crushed. Sometimes it’s someone wanting to lose themselves to a person, but instead, they push that person away. Solitude only becomes a prison when you do not love yourself. And even if you do love yourself it’s still a very dangerous thing, and the very benefits of it are the stars shining in its purest darkness. Solitude isn’t always pretty but also are the truths that we find within ourselves when we learn to find solace in it.”

— Juansen Dizon, The Art of Solitude (via juansendizon)

When you don’t want to do something, like you don’t want to go out or don’t want to research colleges or apply for another job, people tend to think you’re just lazy. They just don’t realize that it’s your anxiety speaking and that it’s driving you crazy.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reblog or like if you ever felt like this*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

follow for relatable original sad shit! the pain I have, the pain I carry every fucking day. its getting to a point where i want to end it. i dont want to wake up. i dont want to feel this way. i dont want this.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reblog or like if you ever felt like this*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

follow for relatable original sad shit

****can you all please subscribe to my youtube channel; i post some good stuff i promise. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPyRIum_ObkKpfsoy8_TKew?view_as=subscriber

also thanks for almost 1.4k followers!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reblog or like if you ever felt like this*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

follow for relatable original sad shit

****can you all please subscribe to my youtube channel; i post some good stuff i promise. https://www.youtubecom/channel/UCPyRIum_ObkKpfsoy8_TKew?view_as=subscriber

one day I will meet a person who won’t find my mind a little too heavy. who won’t tell me to stop thinking and overthinking. someone who understands that loving people so much is who I am. someone that won’t call me a handful. someone who is ready to love with all they have too. someone who wants to take on this world with me by their side. that will be a happy day.

To the girl we lost to suicide

I can’t stop thinking about you. You committed suicide over the summer but I still can’t accept the fact that you’re gone. You put on a fake smile for everyone and laughed until you cried. Your family misses you, and so do your friends. We had a suicide prevention assembly after what happened, your friends had to get up and leave because they couldn’t stop thinking of you. Everytime I hear your name, my heart breaks a little. It’s hard going through each day not hearing your laughter. The night you decided to end your life you texted your friends, “I love you guys,” but they never thought twice about it because that’s just who you were. You had so much love to give. You were so beautiful, and so loved. We miss you babygirl. Rest easy.

do you ever feel yourself slowly losing your current hyperfixation but you’re not particularly interested in anything else rn so you have nothing to fill that void and ur just bored and ready for death

Seriously. I‘m just sick of all those lies. Am I really that unimportant that I don’t even deserve the truth??

Not gonna post or answer anything for the next days, weeks, probably months, idk.

I’m sorry.

“for muslim girls who have considered suicide when iman is not enough. to the sisters who can’t bring themselves to face a city they have never set foot in. whose knees haven’t felt the redemption of grandma’s sijada for the third week in a row. in your dreams, you bloody your knees in prostration hoping that if you busy your tongue with prayer you can plea purpose into your life. in your nightmares you do not believe in God. for muslim girls who are told depression is just a side effect of doubt. the girls who swear they have heard the sound of spine cracking under the weight of family honor. of endless expectations. of becoming more symbol than human. the ones who found religion in the beating hearts of dim basements and soft hands. the girls who desperately want to believe and the ones who do but are told not enough. for the muslim girl whose body has not left her bed’s embrace in too many days. sinking is supposed sin, soaking in self-loathing. for turning the shape of his mouth into a house of worship, his skin into scripture. for managing to be too much and not nearly enough in the same supplication. ‘questioning is for the cowardly. the shameful. the undeserving of breath.’ since when did living require permission and whose are you looking for? for muslim girls who would rather hurt themselves than cause harm to anyone else. you are afraid that you will slice yourself open and won’t stop pouring. spilling your insides inside out. you do not want to leave an ugly stain behind. you would rather go quietly. clean. all hushed whispers and round edges. you would rather tiptoe around the part where your eyes close and the door shuts gently behind you. maybe even, you would rather remain. for muslim girls who have considered suicide when the world was not enough. have you ever wondered what God was thinking when he molded you into being? when he breathed life into you, did his breath smell like dark roast coffee? or something sweeter? there is a universe inside you growing each day you decide to love too hard or brave the world with your softness. they say you are impossible: faith does not go well with the fear of living. but I bet. I bet if you were stuck in a room with God and walked a step towards him, He will run to you. and if the ocean becomes ink for love letters from your Lord, surely the ocean would be drained before His words ever come to an end.”

— D.S. , for muslim girls who have considered suicide / after Ntozake Shange’s For Colored Girls

“Dear Mom, thanks for this beautiful life and forgive me if I don’t love it enough.”

— (via hey-satan-loves-you)

Parents.

They are the most wonderful people to your eyes and seeing them sad, anxious, stressed out, powerless and disappointed because of your behaviour, makes everything even worse.

Another thought.

I’m an immigrant and a child of immigrants. I’m from one of the poorest country in the world. Even though 90% of its popularity live in really rough conditions and situations on a daily basis, they’re the most happy, fulfilled and selfless people in the world. The word “suicide” was foreign to me until I moved to North America. People in western countries and developed countries have every material thing they need and all the ressources at their feet but, are the selfish, individualist and depressed ones. It really shocked me when I came here. The saddest humans in this world are the richest ones.

This sadly true fact is the main reason I feel soooo bad about being depressed. I could’ve been poor, a sex slave or even dead if I stayed in my country and I still feel 10x worst than these eventualities. How the hell am I supposed to feel now…

All my friends are on t.v

Not to sound to conceited

They don’t know my name

They don’t know me by face

But we’re as close as blood clots

Under the skin of aging hands

And as tight as 4c coiled hair curls

I have never fit in totally ever

Different aspects of myself connected

With entire peoples characters

I never had the chance to 100% me

At all

But my friends on tv they are exactly like me

I can relate to them and them to me

They bring me on adventures

Take me out drinking past my curfew

And invite me in the room when they make love

They are my closet friends,

All from different groups and channels

And I like it that way

Because they can never let me down

They can never get tired of me or use me

I accept them and in return they let me in

In a way no one has ever done

And isn’t that what friends are for?