Ifigethighenough

6/27/24

1 month

An inexplicable tightness grips my chest,

when the thought of losing you intrudes,

a shadow darkening the edges of my mind,

turning peace into a turbulent storm.

I’ll be what you desire, whatever form,

a steadfast friend, a silent companion,

confidant, my presence offered freely, without claim.

Content to be a part of your existence,

to share your world, even from a distance.

Each moment with you is a cherished gift,

a fragile thread that binds my heart to yours,

for losing you again would be an endless night,

a void too vast for words to ever fill.

So I remain, whatever you need me to be,

grateful just to be a part of your world.

just finished assassin’s blade….

my heart is in pieces but okay….

Alfonsina Storni, from Mask & Clover: Poems "The Siren"

Risk

6/12/24

In the quiet depths of hesitation,

Lies the echo of spoken desire.

To leap into the unknown expanse,

Is to dance with the shadows of fear.

Risk, a silent companion,

Whispers of both joy and pain.

In the void of certainty's absence,

We’ll find the truth of our fate.

A journey embarked, uncharted,

Navigating the maze of possibility.

For in the gamble of the unknown,

Lies the canvas of our truest selves.

In this venture, you will never be alone

Hand in Hand, we’ll brave the void.

For in the leap, we find surety

With a shared breath of “if you jump, I jump.”

If I could give you the moon, then I’d give you the moon.

There’s so many different kinds of love, I’ve only ever known two

There’s love that’s developed over time. You meet someone platonically/romantically/family, you began to know them for all their faults and strengths. You’re with them through some of the worst things a person can experience. You know them. To be known is to be loved, I believe that’s where that saying comes from. Because the most common love in the world is developed love, nurtured love, love that takes work but is more than worth it. It can change over time and its all around us

So of course to be known is to be loved.

There’s the other kind

To meet someone and have your soul leap of your chest just to finally reach theirs after a lifetime apart

The first sight of them is forever imprinted in your minds eye

Your first conversation plays out in your dreams

There’s a warmth that fills your entire body when you touch, tingling in your hand when it accidentally brushes theirs

When their lips finally meet yours, it’s like a lightning bolt shoots from your chest to the tips of your fingers and toes

That love never leaves you, whether you know them for a moment or the rest of your life. You’ve tasted it and will never be rid of its light

It fills the room when you’re together

No matter the amount times, the electricity accompanies every kiss and touch

After a while you’ve learned everything you could about them, all there hopes, loves, passions, faults, you listened to the stories of moments that shaped them. You’ve absorbed every word they ever spoke your way. But you’ve always known each other

Your souls have found one another in every lifetime

No love had to develop, it was there already

If there should ever be a time when this person and you are apart, they never leave you, but a feeling roots itself in your core. Less than whole, is the only way I can describe it.

You see them in every beautiful thing, you hear them in music, feel them in the joy of life and long for them in the devastation of it

This love is true

It’s love at first sight

It’s beautiful and devastating and the best joy you’ll every know

It never changes, never leaves, always surrounds you

5/21/24 9:35pm

A letter to your heart

I have spent countless hours over the years ruminating on my actions. There is no way to express the depth of my regret and sorrow for the pain I caused you. I was willfully blind to the ways my anger and inner turmoil spilled over, my words cutting into you like daggers. You of all people did not deserve to bear the brunt of my unresolved shit. Your love was the light of my life, a light I dimmed with my own darkness. I see how my actions shattered you, making it difficult for you to open your heart again. Being afraid to love, burdened by scars I left on your heart, is a weight I should have to carry. Not you. You, who's love is a precious treasure. I hope you know how incredible you are, someone deserving of a love that is gentle, kind, and unwavering. I hope you can find a way to open your heart to someone who worships the ground you walk on. Who shows you the love and reverence you well deserve. While I am profoundly sorry for everything, I will never ask for forgiveness or another chance, I simply want to acknowledge that you deserve so much better than what I gave you. And I want to thank you for allowing me back into your life. It's more than I could've dreamed of.

Eternally yours

It’s getting closer

I can feel it in my heart

Soon we’ll see each other again

I’m sorry for the wait

5/19/24 12:38am

Phyllis Shafer (American, 1958) - Moonrise (2015)

"Point of Crossing I" by Rozanne Hermelyn Di Silvestro.