Hilda Furacão is so funny. Hilda the Sinner is having a great time going to football games, chatting with old dudes and daydreaming about her fairytale man giving back her shoe so she can be happily married
Meanwhile Malthus the Saint™ is stress eating, having a faith/identity crisis and fantasizing vividly about Hilda straping him to a bed and fucking his soul out of him
Lorelei is literally that bitch.
She Knew SHE fucking KNEW that Lisbon and Jane were in love but couldn't acknowledge it and she absolutely knew what buttons to push and she tap danced all over them just to piss Jane off when she was caught.
Lisbon was the perfect bait. You can say things about Jane, but he won't care. Needle Lisbon or make fun of her? Jane's got it out for you.
Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.
Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.
Red Hood: oh shit really?
Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!
Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.
~
Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?
Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:
~
Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-
Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!
the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.
Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.
Roy:
Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet
Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.
daniel molloy character of all time once again: like imagine you’re a 20-something drug addict and a terrible journalist on account of being 20-something and a drug addict and you randomly meet a vampire at a gay bar and you think wow I might get drugs, gay sex and a story out of this and instead what you get is psychologically and physically tortured by his husband and your memories of it all erased and then 50 years later you’re DYING and those vampires show up in your life again to ask you to write the story of their happy marriage and your memory might be fucked but ON GOD you WILL ruin that marriage if it’s the last thing you do. and then not only do you succeed and walk out of it alive, but also with a bestseller, millions in your bank account AND immortality AND the knowledge that your annoying human ass was somehow the one thing that made that 500+ year old predator so mad that he broke his lifetime vow to never turn anyone. AND, on top of that, you’re out of the CLOSET.
I'm going to die soon, but I'll die without regrets. Or that's what I'd like to say.
Danny gets deaged and heads to Gotham to find jazz at collage there's only one problem he knows where the collage is just now where jazz's class is
Enter one bruce wayne who genuinely just so happened to be there (he's pulling a brucie wayme stunt) seeing a small kid looking around worried so what does the serial adopter do? Well he goes up to the kid of course crouching down to ask if he's ok whats his name wheres his parents or siblings?
Now jazz, jazz all but raised danny she protected him from a young age and helped him with anything he needed and durimg her time at collage she had worried for him, with the amount of bull her parents spouted she wouldn't be surprised if danny up and left
So imagine her surprise when she spotted her baby brother de aged talking to some stranger and at that moment every instinct flared and she remembered every warning she read or heard about Gotham and she acted
Danny was just looking for his sister when some guy crouched down to talk with him after asking some questions danny heard a sound he was familiar with jazz running
Bruce really wasn't expecting to be kicked for trying to help a kid
Artistic representation of jazz kicking bruce\/
Do you ever memorize for a presentation and you get it perfectly but when the presentation actually happens your memory decides to throw its self out the window
Day 5 of Billy Batson week, this one is dedicated to all the 12 year old Dad Billy AU’s out there, especially when Kon’s the one being adopted
Also I really want to know what the salary of a justice leaguer would be, is it a 401k? Can it support one person or a family? Or is it just above minimum wage? Do they even get dental?
Perhaps I'm just uncultured, but why has no one ever done Sirius finding out about jegulus because he's been sneaking visits with Reg as Padfoot?? Like Sirius is just laying there in animagus form with his head on Reg's lap while he does his homework, and Reg has no idea, and James is sneaking over to say hi and ask if they're still on for tonight, and he and Padfoot just lock eyes