Lorelei Is Literally That Bitch.

i dont really do fake twitter things like these, definitely dont make em, but i keep rereading this one fic where people just wanted bernard so i had to do it

pushing my princess geto agenda

it seems we'll never meet again

Perhaps I'm just uncultured, but why has no one ever done Sirius finding out about jegulus because he's been sneaking visits with Reg as Padfoot?? Like Sirius is just laying there in animagus form with his head on Reg's lap while he does his homework, and Reg has no idea, and James is sneaking over to say hi and ask if they're still on for tonight, and he and Padfoot just lock eyes

Angst idea for billy batfam: for whatever reason billy is given a punishment from Bruce: no magic until told otherwise. No spells. No heroing. No magic

The problem is that Bruce doesn't understand magic and doesn't understand that billy isn't like zatanna or constantine, he can't just not do magic. 6 gods, the living Lightning and the magic of eternity all bottle up inside a malnourished little kid? It'll burn him alive

but... he's learned better than say no to a pissed off adult

The gods make the executive decision: billy can't stay here. Not anymore.

Ooooh this is good. Thank you for the ask!

Oh, the “no heroing” punishment alone is bad. Because that infringes on his responsibilities within the Magic community. He has work to do damnit!

But no magic? That is basically a death sentence. No joke, asking someone who is so intrinsically tied to magic to NOT use it, is not going to end well.

And the worst thing is, Bruce thinks this is for the best. He still doesn’t get magic after so many years because he doesn’t want to. All magic brings is chaos and a headache. He toned his hate down for Billy, but it’s still there. He’s worried that magic will ruin his new son’s life, so he decides to separate them, like you would your kid from a toxic friend.

But it’s eating Billy up inside. Now, he has voices in his head yelling at him to use his powers. He has magic practically boiling within his very core, hitting along every inch of his inner muscles. He feels like he’s burning up. Like he’s eaten so much that he can’t eat anymore.

Still, he doesn’t say anything. He knows better. After so many foster and group homes that promise they’ll be better than the last, this one feels different somehow. He has hope. It’s not a lot, but it’s there. If he says or does anything to ruin that, it’ll only be his fault.

But his patrons think otherwise.

They acknowledge that these vigilantes have good intentions, for humans. But ultimately, Billy’s wellbeing matters the most. And if he continues to not use his magic, he won’t survive to the next year. It’s like asking him to not take medicine. To not sleep. To not eat or drink.

At some point, the Batman’s intentions don’t matter. Billy needs to go to the Rock immediately. Zeus apologizes profusely before piloting his body and teleporting all the way to the Subway to Eternity.

He can’t stay, they tell him. And, despite wanting a family more than anything, Billy knows they’re right.

*cue Captain Marvel avoiding being in a room alone with Batman and any of his batgirls or robins.*

"Butcher or maim, :3 ?"

Happy Halloween y'all 💀💀💀❤️❤️❤️

I'm convinced that if Shang Qinghua decided to start writing and publishing after transmigrating, he would be like an invasive species. Like that cat that killed all the birds on that one island.

Airplane was a maniac who banged out 10k chapters while competing with millions of other writers on the attention market. This is a guy who had to know how to game the algo for attention if he wanted to have enough money for food.

And PIDW's world has what, maybe a few hundred people both literate and willing to write fiction? Airplane would eat these people for lunch. While they were poetically crafting new metaphors and delicately staging each scene, SQH would be creating the most id-stroking lowest common denominator trash imaginable.

He would not only smoke the competition, but introduce to this world every terrible, cheap trick of the hack writer. Everything ends in cliffhangers. Stakes constantly rising. Bullshit plot devices to contrive as much masturbatory emotional catharsis as possible. And he'd be selling like gangbusters.

elfever…❤️

two killers

Name

"Helana, behind you."

"It's alright, Helena."

"Helena."  

"Helena-"

"Ya know, Q," Helena began, easily ducking away from a punch thrown by a third rate goon, "You're pretty cavalier with my real name, for a paranoid guy like you."

The thug seemed enraged by her nonchalance, but that barely pinged on her radar as her boyfriend responded, "I'll make sure no one finds out your identity," his voice was distracted as he downloaded the file, like her concern was not a concern at all, "So it doesn't matter."

"Constantly making sure it stays secret seems like a waste of time and effort," she retorted, growing tired of playing with her adversary and delivering a hook right under his jaw that knocked him flat. Now that all the hired muscle was out of her way, she cracked her knuckles as she approached Question.

He pulled the drive out of the computer, slipping it into his pocket. Before he spoke, he paused thoughtfully, and lifted his leg to kick the computer screen in.

"It's a trifle for me."

"Q, you're really-"

Wait. Q didn't brag about stuff like that. And he had better things to focus on than constantly monitoring his, uh, network(?) to make sure her true identity didn't reach the wrong ears. He must have a reason... oh. 

Oh, baby doll.

Quick as a flash, she fired a bolt from his crossbow that whizzed past his head to catch his attention.

"Any reason for the failed assassination attempt? You normally don't miss."

She hooked the weapon back on her belt, approaching her boyfriend with the kind of conviction in her eye that led to men being dead in every sense but the legal one, and he was smart enough to back up. Eventually, the back of his knees hit the office chair that he had risen from earlier, and he fell into sitting in it with a soft thump.

"I have a theory, Q. Humor me for a minute."

He swallowed thickly at her low tone, and nodded, clearly thankful for the impassivity of expression inherent to his mask.

She reached his spot and boxed him in by putting both hands on each arm of the chair, "I was wondering why you'd go through all the trouble of tempting fate with my identity. You don't take unnecessary risks, right? Except you do. In one circumstance."

Leaning in, her black hair framed her face like a dark halo, the effect accentuated by the flickering overhead light that had been broken by a stray bullet in the earlier brawl. His avenging angel. His heart rate increased at a concerning pace, "When you want to impress me, you can get a little reckless, huh baby doll? You get off on the thrill of protecting me. That's why you do it- you make a situation where you create and solve the problem."

She pulled his tie loose from his vest, yanking it forward so her unmasked nose bumped into his masked one, "I unraveled one of your little mysteries. How's that make you feel, baby?"

"Do you want the long answer or the short one?"

She laughed, nearly low purr, "Let's make it quick."

"Good. Very."

She let go of his tie, but not before hooking a finger under the knot and loosening it just a bit, "As much as I like putting on a show, let's head back before these idiots wake up so you can do whatever it is you need to with that data, and then I can give you your reward for being honest," her smirk grew as she whispered, "Vic."

For the first time, he found that being bested at his own game wasn't so bad at all.•