Please Remember That Almost Everyone Around You Is Traumatized. I Didn’t Understand This When I Was

The english language is so confusing that sometimes I'm tempted to go to the french side of the internet, settle down over there, and every time someone starts telling me shit about how bad my french is, I can let them know that the only reason I'm not fluent in french like I'm fluent in english is because the english won the colonialism. I would be a fluent francophone if it weren't for the french being the second best in their own game.

I wonder if people could selectively breed wild birds by giving the males with the most desired characteristics the The Most Fuckable Leg Band. Year after year you mark the males that have the most features that you want these birds to have, and the bright shiny leg ring makes the females want these specific males, passing on more and more of the desired traits.

person who goes back in time to try and prevent lincoln’s assassination but they get so enraptured by the play that he’s watching that they forget and he gets shot anyways

that look The Nuancer gives you when a generalization walks in

Orange Haze gang wya

I don’t remember much from middle school. Mainly just the Green haze.

heist film but instead of a bank vault or casino, it's a group of moms & grandmas (outraged over grocery prices) holding a Costco's hostage while they steal all the food

getting unzipped has to feel so good for the compressed file

the student said, "i'm reading a zen buddhist cookbook. with no recipes." and the teacher replied, "ah, dogen's instructions for the cook, written in 1237?" "yeah," said the student, "it's saying not to let rats fall into the rice pot"

is anyone else also doing ultimately fine + dying of stress + it’s not that bad + if i don’t wake up tomorrow hotter and better at every hobby its fucking over for me