The Student Said, "i'm Reading A Zen Buddhist Cookbook. With No Recipes." And The Teacher Replied, "ah,

reblog & tag how old you were in 2006

The english language is so confusing that sometimes I'm tempted to go to the french side of the internet, settle down over there, and every time someone starts telling me shit about how bad my french is, I can let them know that the only reason I'm not fluent in french like I'm fluent in english is because the english won the colonialism. I would be a fluent francophone if it weren't for the french being the second best in their own game.

person who goes back in time to try and prevent lincoln’s assassination but they get so enraptured by the play that he’s watching that they forget and he gets shot anyways

Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

is anyone else also doing ultimately fine + dying of stress + it’s not that bad + if i don’t wake up tomorrow hotter and better at every hobby its fucking over for me

A concerning new study released Monday by the Federal Bureau of Prisons found that the nation’s poverty is growing faster than officials can build prisons. “The data shows that the number of people becoming destitute is currently outstripping our ability to set up new correctional facilities to imprison them,” said agency director Colette Peters, adding that unnecessary red tape, stringent regulations, and irksome health and safety standards are preventing the government from building more cells at the 11.5% growth rate necessary to match the rising number of people who need all their rights taken away.

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this goes hard af

Just overheard some guy ask the teacher what 'respectively' means.

He'll be able to vote in elections in around a year btw

I wonder if people could selectively breed wild birds by giving the males with the most desired characteristics the The Most Fuckable Leg Band. Year after year you mark the males that have the most features that you want these birds to have, and the bright shiny leg ring makes the females want these specific males, passing on more and more of the desired traits.

lately ive been bedridden with a terrible case of i dont wanna