Has This Been Done Before?

424

All right, listen. It’s pretty damn funny that two weeks ago I posted all like, “oh I don’t really comment chapter-by-chapter, I’m waiting to see what happens next,” but this one broke me.

This chapter was everything I wanted for bkdk, and it’s so much more tender than I ever dreamed it could be.

This post is not going to be like most of my posts, because I am a flood of emotion. If you’re wanting some detailed, well-researched analysis of this scene, that ain’t coming for a while.

I don’t have some kind of comparative linguistics to show you. I just have my visceral reactions as someone who speaks Japanese and has absorbed Japanese media for many years. I have shared my heart with others in Japanese, I’ve sputtered out words between sobs and felt the many kinds of comfort different people try to offer. I have comforted others who let themselves be vulnerable with me.

In all these moments, just as in English, I wondered if my words and feelings reached them. Each time, I felt the warmth of connection when they looked at me, and I decided that they knew I did my best. They accepted me, even if it wasn’t perfect.

I’m gonna tell you the truth, and I wouldn’t normally say this so directly, but it matters to me: the fan translation for this specific scene is not good. The tone is wildly off in some ways and it outright omits a number of very important words.

The official translation gets so much of it right.

But that’s not really what I want to talk about right now. I want to talk about how people are reading this scene.

I have seen a ton of, frankly, oblivious interpretations of Izuku’s side of things.

Listen to me. Izuku is not making fun of Katsuki for crying, he is not telling Katsuki that crying isn’t like him, that isn’t in the text at all. He is not rejecting Katsuki’s feelings, or belittling them, or ignoring them, or any of that.

Izuku has seen Katsuki cry in-canon a number of times, but every time it was over his own personal failures, and the frustration, anger, guilt, and grief associated with them. We see it in the aftermath of Deku vs. Kacchan 1. We see it during Deku vs. Kacchan 2.

Izuku is shocked to see Kacchan cry because this is the first time he has cried for Izuku.

When Katsuki apologized in 322, he looked Izuku in the eye and told him his feelings with conviction and poise. He was gentle and vulnerable, but strong, because he was asking Izuku to trust them and rely on them. To come back with them and believe in them, like they believe in Izuku. He bowed his head to show his remorse. He caught Izuku when he fell, and he accepted Izuku’s own apology.

He embodied dignity, sincerity, and strength of character. He was a true hero.

This?

This is the raw, honest sorrow of a young boy. It is a tender, earnest, unguarded display of how much Izuku means to him.

These are the tears you shed for someone you cherish. These are tears for when you think you are losing something you can’t live without. Because Katsuki isn’t just crying for the loss of Izuku’s dream—it’s their dream, the future they dreamt up together as kids.

Izuku is almost pathologically incapable of understanding how other people see him and feel about him, but this is unmistakable. He is stunned because there is no other explanation.

There is unmitigated heartache and longing at the core of Katsuki saying, “I just thought somehow we would be together like this, competing and chasing after each other, forever.”

And Izuku is reeling, but so, so touched, and filled with fondness. Look at how his shock shifts to this overwhelmed, affectionate smile.

He’s right—this isn’t the usual Katsuki, and that is precisely why it means so much. We as the audience have been privy to Katsuki’s feelings, but until now Izuku himself has never really grasped the depth of them. This is all the tenderness Katsuki has kept locked up inside, and he is letting Izuku see it for the first time.

To see Kacchan—strong, fierce, and absolutely unstoppable—shed these innocent, helpless tears for him and tell him through sobs that he wanted things to stay this way forever, I can’t blame him for being blown away.

I think Izuku expected Katsuki to be shocked and a little sad that he gave up OFA, both for Izuku’s sake and because it is the legacy of their hero. Before Katsuki even starts crying, Izuku has this small smile on his face, like he was ready to reassure him that he had made peace with his own choice.

But he clearly didn’t expect for Katsuki to weep openly in front of him about it or to confess to wanting him by his side. Izuku had so enjoyed just being allowed near Katsuki, allowed in his life at all—to think that Katsuki could want the same and want it this much, to the point that he worries that things would change, that Izuku would abandon him or deny him? How could that ever be?

In what world could Izuku ever stop chasing Kacchan?

Izuku is a bit of an idiot. He has always thought that Katsuki understood how much he cared for and admired him—that’s why he is so shocked during DvK2 to hear that Katsuki thought he looked down on him for years. Izuku thought Katsuki understood his feelings and simply rejected them.

The way he loves Kacchan is natural and unquestionable. Even now, he can’t understand how Katsuki doesn’t know. It’s baffling to him.

But he still accepts Katsuki’s vulnerability and responds to the intimacy.

This is such an affectionate, loving thing to say. Izuku is being so sweet. I cannot convey to you strongly enough how Izuku telling Katsuki, “C’mon, stop it, this isn’t like you!” reaffirms their closeness.

If Izuku had not said this line and instead skipped straight to this nervous, awkward little attempt at comfort here:

It would have read as so much more distant.

With his tears and his confession, Katsuki pleads with Izuku to not leave him. To be with him always.

And in response, Izuku unabashedly stakes his claim on their bond by being bold enough to affectionately scold him and even assert authority on what kind of person Katsuki is. Remember these?

Chapters 202 and 319

This is such a staple in Japanese media for showing close bonds. Your loved ones know you. They tease you. They scold you. They have that right. You gave it to them.

The people you love cheer you up by reminding you that you’re strong and brave and that even if things feel hopeless and like you can’t go on, that they know you can. Everything will be okay, and they know so because they’ll be right there with you. Of course they’ll be there.

Symbolically, throughout the series, Izuku’s response to Katsuki trying to be closer to him has always been: “Of course.”

He has always accepted Katsuki as much as he is able to, as much as he had awareness for. He is wildly lacking in self-awareness, so it’s certainly not perfect, but by god does he try.

What Izuku is really saying is a mixture of “Really? You want that, too?” and “Don’t be silly!”

One part is him being shocked and touched; the other is him being absolutely certain of his own heart, and showing it as best he can.

He does get flustered and self-conscious, though—because it’s overwhelming to see Kacchan this way, and this is kind of new territory for them. So he switches tactics to reassure Kacchan about how things are now, and make sure he doesn’t feel embarrassed about this outburst. He still has the embers, so it’s okay for now. And their bodies are weak, so of course their heads will be in a bad place too, it’s easy to get low spirits. Of course Katsuki would be feeling vulnerable. It’s normal.

He gives Katsuki so many things here. He gives him as much as he can.

Izuku doesn’t know how long he’ll have the embers for and, frankly, he doesn’t have any guarantee that he will be able to satisfy this longing of Katsuki’s after he loses them. This, too, is a staple of promises in Japanese media: “I don’t know if I can satisfy you, but I want to try. I hope you can accept me.”

Things will be different—the future is always uncertain, now more than ever for their world. But what will never change is what they feel in their hearts.

After this scene, I honestly don’t care if we get something other people see as “bkdk canon.”

What Katsuki says is as good as a confession to me. What Izuku says in return is genuine and pure. This is a messy pair of teenage boys figuring out how to reach each other with words, when they have always been so damn bad at it. This is the two of them both reaching a new point of intimacy and reaffirming everything that came before.

Ladies and men, Is it straight to know how many freckles your ‘enemy’ has?

Bungo Stray Dogs BL Fic Recs

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None of the stories linked are mine.

Some contain mature content.

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Dragonfruit by CheeseSandwjch

Summary: Akutagawa shows up at Atsushi’s house injured from a mission; Atsushi takes care of him.

{One Shot}

Rated - Teen & Up

Of Pinot and Patience by ChaoticQuill

Summary: In the morning hours after a night with Dazai, Chuuya finds himself addled by doubts that he'll be left behind again. Dazai, in an uncharacteristic move, offers to be patient.

— — —

Or: Chuuya worries Dazai is going to leave him, and they decide not to have sex again until Chuuya has overcome those doubts. Hilarity ensues.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

I'll call your name by caramelt

Summary: “Of all places to discuss the case,” Atsushi said as they made their way back to the busy crowd, voice getting louder with every step as he fought to compete with the noise around them. He had finished his chazuke not long ago. “Why a summer festival?”

“Has it not occurred to you that I'm taking you out on a date?”

Oh. Oh.

 — — —

Basically Akutagawa and Atsushi get together fluff.

{One Shot}

Rated - Teen & Up

I Love You (deeply) by SapphireSunstone

Summary: Akutagawa almost wishes he hadn’t heard it.

He wishes that there wasn’t another figure pressed up against him underneath his own bedsheets. Wishes that he hadn’t invited Atsushi to stay for the night when he realised how dark it had gotten. Wishes he hadn’t opened the door when the were-tiger had knocked.

Because now he has to deal with this.

{One Shot}

Rated - General Audiences

With the Warmth of Your Arms, you Saved Me by Glenraven

Summary: Atsushi sputtered, eyes widened and cheeks red. Ryuu could practically watch his brain malfunctioning at the nickname. Since he was still wearing his shirt, he summoned a few tendrils of Rashoumon and had them wrap loosely around Atsushi’s wrists.
“Can you keep them there for me, sweetie?” he smiled. “I need the use of both my hands to worship you.”
Atsushi simply nodded, tugging lightly at the restraints to test their give. He could have easily ripped through them, but Ryuu knew that he liked the resistance and needed the reminder. He tended to have trouble keeping his hands off of Ryuu, and though Ryuu preened at being so irresistible, sometimes he really did like his dessert to sit quietly.
_______
Ryuu makes it very clear to Atsushi how much he treasures him.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

Unexpected Heat by Princess_Cherry

Summary: Akutagawa almost never even got his heat, Mori and Yosano agree that the cause is a combination of his sickness and his malnutrition as a child, his body couldn’t afford to have his heat often but once in a blue moon he got his heat and no one was ever ready for it

———————-

In which Akutagawa goes into unexpected heat and his mates need to be there for him.

One Shot | OmegaVerse

Rated - Explicit

Love to spare by Princess_Cherry

Summary: Dazai smiled, he felt blessed to have these three people in his life.

He really had love to spare. 
— — —

In which Akutagawa, Atsushi, Chuuya and Dazai celebrate their 2nd anniversary, it starts wholesome but quickly turns steamy.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

Pretty Kitty by scribespirare

Summary: Certain things make Atsushi...well, lose control, so to speak.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

electric by quitepossiblyjanuary

Summary: They're always a little sloppy, but it's one of Atsushi's favorite parts about them, that messiness. He loves the feeling of Akutagawa's nose squished up against his face, changing every few minutes because Akutagawa likes to tilt his head this way and that, testing which angle is best for sliding his tongue against Atsushi's lips. He loves the feeling of Akutagawa's lips slipping and catching on his chin, his cheeks, as they blindly move their mouths against each other, eyes closed and too happy to care about neatness.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

Something, Somehow by the_cricket

Summary: Atsushi doesn't meet Dazai by the river, and he doesn't join the agency. He saves himself from starving and figures out how to live, but he still ends up involved with both the Port Mafia and the ADA. Also, it's silly.

Complete | 3 Chapters

Rated - General Audiences

Be Good by orphan_account

Summary: It came out more or less by accident.

--------

“Are you okay, Ryuu?” Atsushi’s concerned voice finally broke the silence that had descended on the table.

“Oh I think Ryuu is much better than okay,” Dazai answered for him, glancing at Atsushi out of the corner of his eye before returning his attention to the man in front of him. “Could it be that our little Ryuunosuke likes it when we tell him just how good he is?”

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

Pet-a-cat, pet-a-cat, mafia man by amythecinnabunny

Summary: Nakajima Atsushi has this nifty little trick where he turns into a cat to offer comfort to people. Somehow, it leads to dating Nakahara Chuuya — after an accidental Italian vacation, that is.

{One Shot}

Rated - General Audiences

Hidden Colors by we_burnin_shit_yo

Summary: Atsushi brings in a pouch of fingernail polishes and Chuuya proceeds to do their nails while Dazai and Akutagawa hang out in the kitchen for food before joining their boyfriends which results in a fluffy polysoukoku evening.

{One Shot}

Rated - n/a

Christmas goose

"carnality"

didn't have time to draw what i wanted for valentines but i made this in like 10 minutes 🧡

FRIENDLY RIVALRY💕💗💊💕

OVA: it's about Nagito and what's essentially an Izuru adjacent AI. ...oh also Fuyuhiko is th-

Me: OH BOY CONTENT

craziest thing about jerejean is that the stress smoker of the relationship is somehow not the french bisexual guy

Excuse me what do you mean Omoinotake released the music video for Tsubomi two days ago and it's literally about two kids playing heroes and they're both wearing green and orange capes.

THAT MEANS THERE ARE FOUR SONGS ABOUT THEM DAMN IT THOSE TWO REALLY ARE THE IT COUPLE OF BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA I CAN'T EVEN-